I saw a thread a while ago where you can "yell" all those things that you want to but shouldn't. Too frustrated to try and find it now so just starting my own.
"For the love of Pete, Dante, freakin look where you're going when you walk. I'm tired of kissing your "owies" because you can't seem to turn your eyes and feet in the same direction. And stop it with the whining voice and tears. When you are acting like a crazy person and hurt yourself jumping off the furniture, I find it hard to feel sad for you. Just sit still and stop talking for 15 seconds! Mama's gonna' need a stay in the nut house if I don't get some peace and quiet."
"Paul, stop.touching.me! It is not necessary that you be attached to me at all times. I need a break! I don't want your nasty feet on my legs and snot covered fingers in my hair! Leave me be!"
Ok...feel much better now. Thanks!