Our 14yo nephew lives out of state, so we usually only see him once a year or so. We recently flew him out for a week long visit to our house and noticed some disturbing behaviors. We're not sure how to help him, so I thought I'd post here for ideas/suggestions.
Our nephew's mom is in prison and he lives with his dad and dad's girlfriend. DN told us that when he's home, he's only allowed to stay in his room, and he can only eat after everyone else has gone to bed. When DN was visiting us, he was constantly apologizing for every little thing. He seemed used to getting trouble for just being around.
A couple of nights, my husband came out of our bedroom around 2am to go to the bathroom and found DN drinking alcohol from our cabinet. When dh confronted dn, dn denied up and down that it was alcohol even though it was blatantly obvious that it was. He refused to talk about it. After dn left, we found that a bunch of our meds were gone as well...half a box of sudafed, cough medicine, and a couple of adderall pills.
We know that dn's dad is a heavy drinker and smokes pot. We believe that if we told the dad, dn would just get in trouble and wouldn't get the help he needs. We don't want to make dn's home life any worse for him.
What can we do to help him? He needs therapy, and was desperate to talk to us about his mom. He didn't know the most basic information about her. We were really surprised that no one had told him these things.
Any help would be much appreciated. Thank you!