Large Family Mommas... « Back to Group Discussions

[Martha83]

I saw in the intro post that there were a handful of us that are expecting another baby with an already large family. YAY! I love being in a group with other large family mommas.

SO...how are you telling other people. Do you have something "great" to say to those oh so negative comments.

Right now dh and I are keeping it to ourselves for the most part because we just aren't ready to hear the junk yet. But I have never held this kind of secret in and I am bursting to tell people (which is why I'm on here so I can talk about it with SOMEONE lol) but anyway....how is it going?

[spruce]

I *love* telling other people...because everyone who knows us knows how much I love being pregnant, and those who don't have a positive opinion wouldn't dare say anything to us.  ;)

My daughter just had our first grandbaby, and they both live with us.  As a consequence, I am often the one slinging the baby wherever we go (I've been slinging someone for so long, I feel balanced with a baby and unbalanced without)...so people often think I just HAD a baby.  Those looks are so funny, to my daughter and to me.

I am positively obnoxious about how happy I am to be pregnant.  And my kids are pretty vocal about it, too, lol.

:)  Welcome and I hope you only get positive responses this time!

love, penelope
 

[Jennyanydots]

I have three kids and baby will make four- maybe not large to some, but definitely getting there... This is kinda "phase two" as my oldest girls are 2 years apart and were 13 & 15 when DS was born, and DS and baby will be 2 years apart.

To be honest, I'm kinda dreading the reactions I will get when I start telling people we're having ANOTHER baby! Yikes!

[Ethelpea]

I agree with Spruce...no one would dare LOL!

Not too many people know yet, just family and a few friends and nothing but positive comments so far, again, like Spruce said, those who know me and don't have something nice to say just would keep their mouth shut.

Personally, too, I don't give a rip what people think...the onl people who would make snide comments would be some random busy body at the grocery store and I'd probably just blow them off or answer with something about a stork or something.

[miss_nikki]

I sent out an announcement to my family and my best friend saying that we were expecting baby number 5. I explained that even though we had no plans for this to happen we've chosen to be happy and thankful about it, basically insinuating "Don't be a jerk!", and ended it with "Congratulations to all of us!" to show some excitement. My dad ALWAYS makes a comment about "You know how this happens right?" And people often ask "You are done now right? No more?" because I'd be CRAZY to want more. I hate it. I can't stop people from making comments. All I can do is control how I react to them and how I let them effect me. With my 5th pregnancy (4th baby) I waited to announce. I had to tell my school and classmates because I was in school for massage and I told my best friend, I think because she figured it out. But we didn't tell anyone else until I was like 5 months along because I didn't want to deal with the negativity. My sister in law, 18, at the time had no clue I was pregnant until then, even though she was living with us. I was getting bigger and everything. She just thought I was getting fat. It was funny.
 

[RachaelM]

Wow, 6! That's fantastic. Congratulations!

I'm only on my second but I came from a family of four girls and I did love it. Even now I love having such a busy family with nephews to play with and aunties to get to babysit for me!

We plan on having a large family, I've always joked I want 8 but some days I fear I may be serious :)

All the best with your growing family and don't worry about what anyone thinks!

[cagnew]

Hello! If all keeps going well, this will be #4 (6th pregnancy). We're Catholic, so we don't do the birth control thing :) I'm all about having a house full o' kids! 

I go back and forth regarding the negative comments. Usually they don't bother me... but if they catch me on a day when I am tired or the kids are trying my patience, I feel pretty annoyed. Normally I say something positive about having kids (although I admit that I often think something sarcastic in my head...). It still baffles my mind that people think it's any of their business! My kids are good kids and don't often act up in public, but even if they did, wouldn't it be nicer for someone to offer an encouraging word instead of being so nasty? I have a friend whose three kids are, uh, kind of undisciplined and young, and when she was pregnant with #4 she took them all to Walmart to have a prescription filled. It ended up taking a really long time and the kids were being awful and she was feeling sick and someone made a comment along the lines of "Some people just don't know when to stop!" She said it crushed her. A little kindness goes a long way! 

[Martha83]

So happy for you all that you get positive comments. I think I'm going to talk it out with my husband...make sure that we both have the same lines prepared lol. When someone says "this is it, right" I hate when that is said so I want to make sure we both have the response of "I guess we'll see" and so on. I have several people that I know will give me a positive response. I guess I don't "care" what people have to say...but it drives me batty that people think it's their right to tell us what they think or ask really rude not their business type questions. I am beyond happy to be pregnant even though we were a little shocked about it. I love being pregnant and I love that my family is growing. :)

[Martha83]

When I was pregnant with my fourth I think it was....I was at a walmart and we were going thru the checkout....the cashier asked "are they all yours" and of coarse I smiled and said yes....and then she said..."and you are pregnant" (really disgusted) and of coarse I smiled and said yes. So then she proceeded to hold her finger like a gun and act like she shot herself. I was totally shocked....I never replied or said anything. I was in shock for real lol....some people are just flat out  mean and rude.
 

Last month I had someone ask "you aren't pregnant are you"...and of coarse at that time I wasn't. I said "no, just fat" and went on....I mean really who asks that...just because I have a gut gives you the right to assume....and then it gives you the right to think it's a bad thing. UGH.

I tell ya...people are just rude....

[at_the_hip]

This will hopefully be #6 for us as well!  Our first 4 were girls and I can't tell you how many comments we had about that, even right in front of them!  It is ridiculous.  It was always something to the effect of, 'trying for a boy again, eh?; as if we couldn't possibly want so many kids unless it was to get our boy.  Then once we had our boy we had less comments overall but more of the, "So, I guess your done now?" 

People who actually know our kids and us are  the opposite though.  It's more like, "Are you going to have more?  You should have more!  Your kids are so sweet!"  LOL  Those are teh comments that feel great! 

[Martha83]

agreed! We had a girl and then a boy...so it was automatic that people thought "you MUST be done you have the perfect family"...blah. whatever.
 

[alaskanmomma]

We're only on baby #3 so definitely not a 'large' family...yet...but can't wait to be :). Both DH and I didn't get siblings until we were a lot older, and granted I ended up with 6 extra, we have always wanted a lot of kiddos.

[alaskanmomma]

Originally Posted by Martha83 

agreed! We had a girl and then a boy...so it was automatic that people thought "you MUST be done you have the perfect family"...blah. whatever.
 

We got this ALL THE TIME after DS was confirmed a boy. ARGH!

[camprunner]

Originally Posted by Jennyanydots 

I have three kids and baby will make four- maybe not large to some, but definitely getting there... This is kinda "phase two" as my oldest girls are 2 years apart and were 13 & 15 when DS was born, and DS and baby will be 2 years apart.
To be honest, I'm kinda dreading the reactions I will get when I start telling people we're having ANOTHER baby! Yikes!

This is us sort of except my oldest two will be 7 and 10 when this baby is born and my current youngest will be 22 months.  We very much wanted this baby and we always wanted a big family. I'm seriously considering just not telling people I'm pregnant and making my self look fat when the time comes. We are so excited that I just don't want it to be ruined with negative comments.  My family (my parents are divorced and don't speak and they both let me know) has told me that we have "enough" kids and we don't need any more. My in laws strongly implied they assumed we were done since we finally had a boy last time and he was the third one.  I am sort of at the stage where I think it's no one's business but ours how many kids we have.

[firespiritmelody]

Originally Posted by at_the_hip 

Our first 4 were girls and I can't tell you how many comments we had about that, even right in front of them!  It is ridiculous.  It was always something to the effect of, 'trying for a boy again, eh?; as if we couldn't possibly want so many kids unless it was to get our boy. 

This is almost exactly us! We've got three girls and I'm already sick and tired of the "so you're trying for a boy?" and similar stupid comments. Truth be told *I* want another girl. I know girls, I know how to take care of girls, we have tons and tons and TONS of girl hand-me-downs etc so I will be JUST FINE if this baby is a girl too. That's not to say that I wouldn't love to have a son too, but why do people have to assume that I'll be disappointed if it's another girl? I am over the moon in love with all of my girls and I especially wouldn't trade my youngest for any boy in the whole world.

That being said, all three of my girls are rooting for team blue because they want a brother Even my youngest says that the baby needs to be a boy "because we don't have any brothers in our family" lol.

[Martha83]

It's sad that it's soooo common.

I told my parents tonight and a close family friend. My parents were shocked and surprised but were happy overall even though they kept not believing it. And my family friend was ecstatic about it. I wanted to say "THAT is what people are supposed to say" but it would have hurt my mom's feelings. So anyway....whew...one set of parents down. We aren't telling Josh's family until after my daughters birthday party this weekend so we dont have to hear it face to face lol! They'll all comment behind our backs but if I dont hear it I dont know lol.


 

[NaomiJoy2]

Hi Ladies

This is my first post on this forum and on Mothering in a year or so.  I found out today that I am pregnant and by my very shaky calculations due to some birth control pill issues, I know I am at least 6 weeks along and figure this to probably be an April baby.  That will be what I am going with until I have an ultrasound at least.

Anyway, I am 38 years old, have three kids - dd 18 (who is away at college), ds 13 and ds 9.  I also have my boyfriend's orphaned nephew (20) living in the home. If this baby makes it, we will have 6 living under our household until my "nephew" gets out on his own.

I hate the big family comments, esp the boy and girl comments - like no one could ever in their right mind want more than two! I always wanted at least five and would be happy with more.
 

[Martha83]

Congrats Naomi! My parents had just two children and we are both girls. They got TONS of flack for only having girls...as if they loved us less because we were girls and not boys or a boy and a girl. Drove them NUTS! I look forward to getting to know you. :)
 

[babycatcher12]

Hello all!

I've been hesitant to post much simply because I'm afraid that I'll lose this pregnancy after having 2 second trimester losses in the last year (one at 15 weeks and one at 14weeks). But this is my 9th pregnancy and will be my 5th live birth if he/she makes it. We have 4 boys, so most every one just assumes we are trying for our girl. I'd love a girl, but would be thrilled with another boy too. As cliche' as it sounds I really just want a healthy baby this time. So I hear you ladies when you get comments about all girls. I can't believe how rude people are when they see we have all boys. Some think it's cute but others will pat my on the shoulder and say "I'll pray for you" or "Four boys huh? That would drive me crazy!". Grrr. 

We used to get lots of comments about "you know how that happens", but since our last two losses that has kind of stopped and has now shifted to "you're being too hard on your body" or "make sure you take care of yourself" or my personal fav "maybe your body is just done". Ugh! We don't do birth control either. My husband is a pastor and just started a new job so we just relocated our whole family to a new town and all that business. It's not the "ideal" timing, but we trust that it is God's timing and He can see things ahead of us that we can't, so we trust Him. 

It's great to see others with bigger families here too. I sometimes feel like the odd one out. :)

[at_the_hip]

welcome and congrats babycatcher!  I don't know why people think they have to 'say something' besides good wishes?!

In any case I hope this is a sticky bean for you!  Your boys are sooo cute!