Large Family Mommas... - Page 2 « Back to Group Discussions

[1babysmom]

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Edited by 1babysmom - 3/19/13 at 8:16pm

[snubblenuts]

I think people are used to us announcing a pregnancy every 18 months or so :) So far, no negativity and I don't expect it from our family and friends! Congratulations to all the Mothers of Many!

[Martha83]

another runner! :)

Well...I think I already posted in another thread that we announced it to everyone now. There is a girl on my FB page that works where my husband works and she kindly spread the good news. Now granted, dh works there, my mom works there, and my dad works there...MAYBE one of them would spread it around....but no...some person we know that isn't a family member spread the news for us. argh. Josh was so upset. The day he came home from work when our wonderful news was shared with everyone he said "only THREE people had good things to say. The rest said I was an idiot or stupid basically" ....THREE people. He works at a factory and has for 11 years and only THREE people had something nice to say.

People make me so mad. They also go up to my mom (who is the HR secretary) and ask her about it which is fine...but she gets things like "was it an accident or were they trying" REALLY...that is YOUR business HOW? Argh.

Anyway...all friends and family have been nice though. :) whew.

[spruce]

Wow, Martha.  That's incredibly upsetting...from spreading the news "for" you to asking your mom how you conduct your private life with your husband.  GRRRRR.  People are stupid. 

If it helps, I think your baby and your family are incredibly lucky to have a healthy, thinking, loving mother and father. 

I walked into my husband's office building the other day and his boss said, "Congratulations!" right away...I didn't even know my husband was telling people yet.  ;) 

Spent today with all my kids and grandbaby being guinea pigs for a new batch of paramedics (we're a fire dept family), and not ONE student had anything negative to say about me being 40, with a grandchild, and expecting another baby.  A few of them did try to place me in the 41-60 age category, though.

love, p
 

[Martha83]

aw how wonderful that you were able to have a great day with only positive remarks. Fortunately most people have been great. Just the people at his work have been idiots.

I'm still anxious when I say I'll have six kids. Seems so crazy but yet so wonderful. Part of me knows that I'd be ok to have as any babies as God gave us and part of me thinks that that part is crazy lol....but the part of me that thinks the baby having part of me is crazy has yet to win out lol!!!

[velveeta]

Whoa! I can't believe some of these replies! Especially about the cashier that put a pretend gun to her head.

I am stoked about having our fourth baby. We probably won't have more, as pregnancy is just so debilitating for me. I love birth, though, so looking forward to that!

Our strategy is to tell only people who we really love, and they know us, so first they say -- yay! and then they, say -- oh, are you vomiting all the time? Lol.

We do get some negative responses like we are talking about here when it comes to homeschooling. Many people just don't see how being with your kids so much could possibly be something anyone would want to do.

Oh well, it's not for everyone, I guess.

[SweetMama34]

This is only my 3rd child - but I peeked into this post for some advice. I'm really struggling with people who share with us that 3 is 'too many' or that they don't understand why I needed more kids. I wanted more kids. My sweet, sweet husband has never been through a pregnancy and doesn't have biological children of his own - he wanted kids. We are so thrilled about this pregnancy, feeling amazingly blessed, yet really hurt by the lack of excitement from some people who are close to us. One of those people is actually my mom - who has FOUR children herself! Why does she deserve to have a large family, but I don't? I'm a good mama, my husband is the best dad to our boys. We are financially stable, have a beautiful home and love our little family more than anything.

I guess there were also positive comments to balance out the negative ones. My dad, for example, stated that he was so excited and couldn't think of a better family to add to and that we should probably have 23 kids. Ha! :)

[camprunner]

SweetMama. I understand your frustration.I'm hesitant to share my pregnancy with anyone. Even after 12 weeks. After our 3rd child. Lots of people asked us if we wanted another. We said "Yes, a playmate for M."  The response was "You have ENOUGH kids."  Why would you even ask if you didn't really want to know?  Really, it's none of their business.

I'm just planning to keep it to myself if I can. While I doubt I could get by with it, I'd be happy if the baby's grandparents didn't find out until baby is several months old. I'm planning to wear clothes that will just make me look fat for as long as possible.    It's not because I care what anyone thinks about me having a fourth child BUT I don't want negativity spoken into my or my child's life. I don't want anyone trying to make me feel bad about this beautiful life.   If no one is going to be happy about it, then I'm only sharing with the people who will be happy about it. This is just me and definately not a recommendation. I think children are to be celebrated. Each and every one.

[SweetMama34]

YES, camprunner! That's exactly how I'm feeling - there is no need for that negativity in our lives! This child (all children!) is such a precious gift and deserves to be celebrated and treasured. I can't stand the negativity. (And realize I need to grow a thicker skin soon!)

[Martha83]

Three almost IS large compared to the "norm" (2)....I dont go up to those who only have one and say "you are doing a big huge disservice by only having one child...what are you thinking" so why do they think they can do the opposite lol. Anyway...I think we've gone from "those people are crazy" to "we already knew they were crazy"...we got much more flack last time.

I did have this one lady at our church, who is very sweet and loving, but has a WEIRD way about her in that she doesn't really filter what she says and doesn't mean it the way it sounds. She came up to me and said "I was totally shocked...and then whispered...I thought you had that fixed last time"...OMG really? I've never discussed that with ANYONE why would you assume? lol...I just giggled. and went on. But man...

Anyway...dh's grandma gave us flack with our last...he was our fifth and she had five....so she'd bounce back and forth from "wow why" to "yep, I've been there" lol...I dont get it...but whatever....we are thrilled and this time nobody has said as much as we thought they'd say....we've had SOME bad stuff but not as much as we braced ourselves for...Thank you, God.

[velveeta]

For us, babies are such a blessing. I am finding that I don't wish to tell anyone who doesn't get that. I was surprised at first and a little scared to learn I was pregnant (I usually have severe morning sickness) and I just have a hard time w pregnancy. I love the end result, though! Lol.

It made such a difference to me that husband was so, so excited and proud and happy. We are the ones who matter! Not a bunch of not so well intentioned strangers.

[Georgetown HB Mom]

Originally Posted by firespiritmelody 

This is almost exactly us! We've got three girls and I'm already sick and tired of the "so you're trying for a boy?" and similar stupid comments. Truth be told *I* want another girl. I know girls, I know how to take care of girls, we have tons and tons and TONS of girl hand-me-downs etc so I will be JUST FINE if this baby is a girl too. That's not to say that I wouldn't love to have a son too, but why do people have to assume that I'll be disappointed if it's another girl? I am over the moon in love with all of my girls and I especially wouldn't trade my youngest for any boy in the whole world.

That being said, all three of my girls are rooting for team blue because they want a brother Even my youngest says that the baby needs to be a boy "because we don't have any brothers in our family" lol.

I have four girls. Pregnant with our fifth baby. Our fourth girl was a stillborn. Already I have gotten the boy comments. Really??? After what we just went through? It literally makes my stomach turn when someone says this baby must be the boy, we have to have a boy, my husband "needs" a boy, etc. After my third was born I called one of my friends to tell her that we had another beautiful baby girl. She actually asked me if my husband was disappointed. When I said, no why would he be? He just had a healthy baby. She actually told me he was probably at least a little disappointed that it was another girl. We dont' speak anymore. Is it bad that I am praying daily for another girl? I just want the naysayers to shut up. My mother in law is the worst. She has been rooting for a boy since we were pregnant with our first. Everytime we have another girl I giggle inside because I know it is pissing her off. Luckily we don't see her much given her attitude. Since this is our fifth baby we also get the common, "do you know how babies are made" comment. Ummm...considering I have been married for over 17 years, why yes I do know how babies are made. Why do people say such things?

[Martha83]

Oh my. I'm so sorry for your loss and the lack of care people have when talking to you about it. And about the boy thing. Argh...nothing gets my goat faster. In fact when I had my first two (a girl then a boy) everyone thought we should be done...I was DETERMINED to have another just to show that I didn't care WHAT we had. (well not JUST to...but you kwim)....Of coarse on our fifth we had three girls and a boy already so everyone was "oh poor Elzie, he needs a brother" so I'd follow it up with "or another sister, he's good either way"....we ended up with a boy (and Elzie was EXCITED to have a brother)....but he would have been EXCITED for another sister too....people stink.

My parents got what you are getting...the "what about a boy" thing. It was just my sister and I.

*sigh*. What can you do....I've just started coming up with stupid remarks to make back at their stupid questions. Makes ME feel better lol.

[Martha83]

Hoping I can get some answers here....Large family mommas....can you feel your uterus....where is the top of if on you...and how far along are you?

And I ask large families because we all know our uteri (lol) are larger generally than the first and second time mommas ;) LOL

[firespiritmelody]

This might be TMI, but I can only feel it after I've had an orgasm lol. I'm 14 weeks and it's about 3 finger widths below my belly button. I have a mw apt today, so I can report back later if I'm write or terribly confused haha!

[1babysmom]

Don't know if this counts since I don't have a lot of living children unfortunately, but this is my 11th pregnancy, and when my bladder is even semi-full my fundus is at my belly button, otherwise it's just over midway.

[Martha83]

1babysmom...how far along are you?

thanks for the replies!
 

[Martha83]

and of coarse it counts...my heart goes out to you for your losses! hugs!

[1babysmom]

Thank you. :)

Originally Posted by Martha83 

1babysmom...how far along are you?

thanks for the replies!
 

I am 11w3d.

[Ethelpea]

14 weeks here and it is midway to my belly button.