I thought I'd update here and let y'all know how things are going with me.
It's been 2.5 weeks since "the explosion" (as I'm now calling it), and I am feeling OK. Not great, but certainly better than I felt 2 weeks ago.
Some days I feel wildly hopeful and excited for the future, and some days I want to punch things or lay down in a ball and cry. DS and I were accepted into a BEAUTIFUL apartment with laundry IN the unit (and central air!) and I am so excited to move out of our place. We get the apartment on Sept. 15 - 10 days from now!!! I have great plans for painting DS' room to make it all his own, as well I'd like to paint my room as I've never been 'allowed' to do that before.
We are still trying to deal with the division of assets, and it is not fun. He has 8 million movies and video games, a 3d tv, 2 xboxes, a playstation 3 and a bunch of other gizmos, and of course he wants ALL of those things and to leave me with the furniture as part of "my assets". Because I clearly need 3 couches, 2 coffee tables, 2 tv stands, 6 end tables, 2 dinner tables. Yeah. I'm trying to divide up the list fairly so that we each get some of the more expensive items (I plan to sell mine), but it's rough going. Although he thinks all those items are "his", I've been making twice as much money as he has for the last several years, so anything bought was certainly paid for with mostly my money.
Another completely messed up thing is he served me with divorce papers!!!!!!!!!!! WTF???????? In Ontario you have to be separated for 1 year before a divorce can go through - the day he served me (or rather his MOM served me), it had been 7 days since I asked him to leave the house. So now this has gone from a situation that I hoped we could sit down and agree upon at the dinner table to me needing to get a lawyer because he's an idiot. No surprises there, but BOY am I pissed off. He's also asking for spousal support which just infuriates me even further. He makes half of what I do because he's too lazy to do anything with himself. In the 11 years we were together I encouraged him COUNTLESS times to go back to school to advance himself and he refused to go. So he works at walmart making minimum wage, and now he thinks that I should pay him out of the money that I need to support DS and myself.. what? so he can rent motel rooms to have sex with whores? Or so he can buy 8 million more blu ray movies? Over my dead body.
This is just SO beyond me. I cannot understand what would ever posess him to try and get spousal support when he KNOWS that I need that money for DS and I. I am SO infuriated.
He's also asking for joint custody, with 50/50 split visitation. I have no idea what the hell he is thinking. DS is 5 and needs a steady home environment, not to be living out of a suitcase for the rest of his life. I have been assured by countless people that no judge would ever award 50/50 custody of a child DS' age, as it is not in the best interest of the child. It just goes to show how completely selfish he is that he thinks that is what would be best. Once again he's only thinking of himself. No surprises there. I will be seeking sole custody with adequate visitation. I have no desire to take DS away from the Ex, he's been having regular visits these past 2 weeks, but what he is thinking is out of the question. Plus, he works a lot of evenings and weekends (often until 9pm), so there is no way he would even be available that 50% of the time to care for DS, and if he thinks his parents can help out I am going to have a big issue with that. This custody is not between me and his parents, it's between me and HIM. I have faith that no judge would award him what he's asking, but boy does it ever weigh heavily on the conscience.
So, on the docket for me the next couple weeks: packing, packing, packing. DS and I will be moving to our new place the last weekend of September, and there is A LOT to do before then. I haven't been able to start yet because I feel so simply overwhelmed by how much STUFF is in the house. I am going to have to get rid of so much crap. I can't wait till this is all over and DS and I are settled into our new place.