So, Mom thinks we put diapers on too tight (they have several snap positions). I carefully review his diapers, disagree with her, tell her why, but promise to keep an eye out. Since then he's grown, we let the elastic out a bit.
Sunday night she changed his diaper while we were at a family gathering. I offered to help with the snaps, since she has expressed she has some trouble with them physically (I agree, sometimes they're hard to snap). She says no, she can do it, and snaps them on the loosest setting. I re-snap them, telling her I don't want leaks. She expresses again that she thinks they are too tight.
I ask, "Do you really think that I am keeping my son in pain all the time?" She replies that she thinks we think differently, but basically intimates that yes, I'm harming my son.
I'm really upset by this. Not so much about the diapers, because the worst consequence is a leak, but upset about the willful and silent disagreement. We disagreed, I thought it was resolved, but instead she just went about doing it her way instead, not telling me. She must have been snapping his last diaper of the day tighter, because she sent him home with a properly fitting dipe each day (she does one day of care a week).
I'm upset because it makes me think that in the future when we disagree about his care, she will just do what she wants anyway, "behind my back," so to speak.
I brought it up this morning but ran out of the house before we could get into it because I was hot headed...I thought I had been ready to have a cool conversation but obviously not. I'm usually pretty chill and together...but not about this.
Please help me cool off. Generally my mom is awesome.