what is the worst thing a doctor has said to you, re: not vaccinating?

[jupitermama]

I haven't had any bad experiences myself, other than the first pediatrician I was going to use based on a family member's recommendation...they had the generic immunization policy that the shots are safe and effective and every child should be immunized per CDC guidelines, blah blah blah...and then it stated if they are unable to convince you vaccinating is the right thing to do they will ask you to find another healthcare provider. (NO problem!!)

One of my friends, however, had a pediatrician yell at her, and tell her that her child is a parasite on society!! Why she still goes to this practice, I will never know. But I would definitely have some choice words for anybody, health care "professional" or not, who dared speak that way about either of my children!

Has anyone else had a doctor make nasty remarks about your choice to not vaccinate?

[emmy526]

my kids have had the same pedi for 15yrs and has never disrespected my decision...when we lived in another state,  they didnt' say anything either, maybe because it was the early 90's before all the media hype about it, and the schedule increased by twice the amount of vaccines by the late 90's.  By that time, we moved and found the great dr we have now.  

[AmiMom]

We have been blessed with a wonderful gp doc who I feel I can actually trust. He asks only that whatever decision we make regarding vaccination be an informed decision, i.e. not made out of fear but researched.

[Asiago]

Originally Posted by AmiMom 

 He asks only that whatever decision we make regarding vaccination be an informed decision, i.e. not made out of fear but researched.

I like this! It pertains to every parent really....regardless of choice of vaccination.

[sassyfirechick]

Our pedi did use the scare tactic once of explaining every worst case scenario of every vpd she was due to be vaxxed for but I think the fact that she had a med student with her that day made all the difference bc our last visit (DD's 9mo) she simply asked if I minded sharing my reasons, to which I replied something along the lines of 'based on her past reaction (4mo dtap) and the research I've done I don't feel she is at risk at this time'.  She handed me the waiver to initial and that was it.  *phew* I had worried going into that one I might get lectured but nope!

[Marnica]

Our first pedi gave me a dead baby story.....I swear soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo many parents have heard a dead baby tale. If all of them were true the CDC's numbers are totally off! They also wanted to sign a form stating I was putting my child's life and other kids lives at risk...I refused to sign it. Needly to say we found a new doctor.

Our current pedi is awesome. She asks, I decline and I dont even have to sign one of those stupid forms.

[ssun5]

I have had the dead baby a few times... I am stupid for believing anything I read on the internet. I ignore the truth of what Vaxes have done for all of mankind.

"you shouldn't even count your child until he passes the age of 2 if you won't vax as his chances of survival are minimal as well as killing other children with him".  That probably tops it for me.

This was said from a Woman Dr who was taking care of my DH at the ER and she somehow happened to ask how my son was handling his shots and me being young and a new mom was honest.

I always skipped most of the Well baby check ups but have found a few great Dr over the years in different states who have at least not given me flack and my now Family Doctor won't see kids that HAVE been Vaxed as he says they are to sickly constantly for him to care for properly.

DS-12

DD-7

DD-1

[fruitfulmomma]

What the...your child's chances of survival are minimal without vaxxes??? My children must be sumthin special, not only have they survived, they've never even had a vpd. 

My doctor is cool with us not vaxxing, he doesn't agree but he respects our rights as parents. 

[Minerva23]

Our first pedi tried the scare tactics too. Millions of kids in Africa die of tetanus and the like. Hib the big killer in the 1970s (yeah were babies were fed formula not bf). After going through that twice and he would not back off, we changed docs and now we are fine. I did have to sign a waiver though ( doc explained that in case my kids come down with a VPD, I won't be able to sue him). Fine with me.
 

[JamieCatheryn]

Mine mostly tells repeatedly of one kid at their practice who presented with meningitis and got quick treatment though his symptoms were more like a flu, but if he hadn't got to the hospital fast he would have died. They're assuming the strain that gave him meningitis was a VPD.

[EmbraceLife]

in a "smart" tone, "well, good luck, he looks healthy"

[LiLStar]

at the ER after ds busted his upper lip open on the molding while sliding down the stairs, the dr was like, "Ah, so, you decided to roll the dice, eh?" I think I handled it pretty well. I smiled sweetly and said, "I'm making the choice about which set of dice to roll" He shot back, "yeah, HIS set". I don't think I said anything to that but I was thinking, wtf? they're both "his set". Whatever. They offered the TIG, and I simply said, "From what I understand about how tetanus is transmitted, this type of wound is not at a high risk of tetanus".. because it bled a TON, and he was cut by a clean, indoor object. I didn't eleborate about why specifically that wound didn't look like a tetanus risk, because that would simply open up the opportunity to argue, or give an exception, or in some way outwit me. so I just left it at that. I definitely think that was the right choice! The dr said, "sure, but not ZERO risk" and I said, "yep, not zero" because seriously.. is the risk ever ZERO? Exceptionally low, absolutely, but never zero. She (this was another dr.. geez we saw like 2 or 3) was like, "okay, well, i just need to make sure you know your options" 

To contrast... a few weeks later at the peds for a wbv, which was right before ds was going to have dental work under ga, (through that same hospital's dental office) "they haven't given you trouble about vaccines, have they?" "they haven't asked" "Okay, good. I wouldn't volunteer the information though.. they can be funny about tetanus. Don't let them give you any trouble!" She's cool :) They did eventually ask in the preop questions, but I just said "he has an exemption" since the ped had literally just signed his preschool exemption form. No trouble from them! Whew!

[rdehoff-us]

I have changed peditricians several times. The first one threatened to call child protective services when I chose to delay DTAP after some scary symptoms with the first shot.  The second ped doctor gave me a similar threat when I was selective about how many vaccines were given at once (they wanted to give him several combination shots and regular shots, nine in all).  The third ped gave me a long sob story about a baby who was a patient of hers who died from Pertussis and how babies die everyday who didn't get this shot. She also warned me about the outbreak and how unless I plan to breastfeed for two years, being a stay-at-home-mom wouldn't protect him. I proceeded to bring up statistics and how primarily the only severe or deadly cases of Pertussis occur in children six months and under and my child was eighteen months at the time. The ped told me I owed it to society to protect other peoples babies since my son could carry the disease and pass it to more vulnerable children.  To which I replied again we were keeping him at home and the other babies we know are all vaccinated or over one years old.  She told me if I wanted to have future children they would die because my son would give them Pertussis. I told her we weren't even considering having any more children at this point and when we are we will consider the issue.  She finally dropped him as a patient because she "could not take that risk of him dying or killing others." My fourth ped is still a little pushy about taking vaccines, but is okay with selective and delayed vaccinations.  Her primary concern is to make sure we are making an informed decision and understand all the potential risks.  I've been told by other parents my kid will die.  My sympathies to anyone out there receiving a lot of harsh criticism from doctors or other parents!  I understand how stressful it can be.

[LiLStar]

Originally Posted by rdehoff-us 

 She also warned me about the outbreak and how unless I plan to breastfeed for two years,

Haha, I would have said, "as a matter of fact, I DO! Thats my minimum!" 

[jesundbe]

My doctor told me I had to fill out the "Bad Mommy Form"...(The form that says you aren't vaccinating, yada-yada). I told her I am actually a good mommy because I am not injecting poison into my daughter. We no longer see her. We just have our daughter go to the chiro regularly and if she's sick, we'll take her. That's what doctors are for. If you're not vaxxing, there is no point to the "well child" visits IMO.
 

[Rynz]

That non-vaxing was "on par with child abuse".

[Marnica]

Originally Posted by Rynz 

That non-vaxing was "on par with child abuse".

 Man - I would have flipped that ped the bird as I walked out of the office.

Just like if I ever bump into Amanda Peet - she'll be getting a verbal beat down from me!

[EmmaJean]

My oldest is 10, youngest is 3.  We've moved a lot and had a lot of different docs.  I have NEVER had a doc give me a bad time about vaxes.  Usually just curious questions, more surprised and wondering "why in the world"? but in a nice way.  Lots of feeling uncomfortable but nothing actually scary.  Mostly no questions at all.  UNTIL....... I take my dd (4yo) to the ER for her chin to get glued back together this summer, and the doc gives me the third degree about tetanus!  "I'm sorry but what religion is it that says you can't vax b/c I don't know of any".  Me: "technically, it doesn't matter."  Him: "You know she could DIE of tetanus??"  ("oh but by the way, it's no rush to shoot her up, just make sure to talk to your doctor about it next time")  So weird!  He apologized for coming off harsh and said he just wanted to understand and make sure I understood the RISKS.  Thanks a lot, brah.  Goodness.....  I've "always" expected the worst and gotten next to best.  Not that time.

BUT!  The next visit was a check-up for school (my dd's first one since newborn days!  ha!) and this doc (new to me) was soooo nice!  Didn't bat an eye!  She even had a back and forth conversation about all my issues and was just totally candid and helpful.  I can't say enough wonderful things about her, I was just so thankful for her!  

So there ya go.  I think the nasty meanies are in the minority these days but who knows.  It's all politics and who's got a chip on their shoulder.  As long as you are confident you'll be fine.  You don't even have to have a book memorized, just be confident, have a few one liners ready, and also "I'll take that under consideration, thank you."  :)

[gradstudentmommy]

Just today at my 2 year old's WBV, I was told about all the 3 and 4 year olds this doctor has seen die of meningitis. And this was from one of the few doctors in Ohio that will be even TREAT a child who isn't vaccinated. This doctor recommends an alternate schedule of no more than 2 vaxes on any given day, but she feels strongly about the necessity for vaccines.

I hate it because it always makes me doubt my decision not to vaccinate, even though I'm finishing my Ph.D. so I know something about how to read articles and have done hundreds of hours of research on both sides. But then I come here and I feel better about my decision. But sometimes it would be easier to go back in time and just NOT research and go with the flow. It's hard to always buck the system.  It's funny because my brother is the one that initially warned me about vaccines and recommended that I space them out. Then I started researching and decided not to vax at all and he thinks I'm crazy and irresponsible.  The whole thing makes me nauseous and makes my head hurt and makes me want to drive 8 hours back to Wisconsin for my awesome ped who applauded us for not circumcising and respected my views on vaxes.

[Shanesmom]

I just want to encourage (and high-five) all the mamas who stuck to their guns!!

My ped if for vaccines but has never made me feel bad or pressured me into getting them. He's pretty awesome. I really like him. I respect his opinion, and I feel he respects mine.

I did have to fill out the forms with both boys, which made me resl uncomfortable. I wanted to protest, but there is no way I'm changing peds, so I filled it out. Ugh