Silly things people say! « Back to Group Discussions

[travelmumma]

Hey Mummas
Thought I would start a thread so we can have a vent and giggle over the stupid things that people have said to us about our pregnancies/bodies/babies/births/families!

Here are a few I have gotten recently!

- "is there padding in there? It's too big! And your only half way!!" .... Gee thanks mum?!?!?,
- "it was an accident right?" ... Um no, but thanks for that weird stranger!
- "planned or accident?" ... None of your business stranger/boss/friend/photographer. How are you meant to answer this?!?!?
- "50 to 60 per cent of women die in childbirth. It's tremendously dangerous!" oh thank you university lecturer! Now I know where half my pregnant friends have disappeared to! Their graves! What?!?!?!?!?!?!?
- "by having a homebirth you will make your baby a drug addict!" well thanks EX doctor of mine!!

Lol those are just some of the awesome ones I have gotten lately!

[mamaharrison]

Originally Posted by travelmumma 


- "50 to 60 per cent of women die in childbirth. It's tremendously dangerous!" oh thank you university lecturer! Now I know where half my pregnant friends have disappeared to! Their graves! What?!?!?!?!?!?!?
- "by having a homebirth you will make your baby a drug addict!" well thanks EX doctor of mine!!

 

WHAT?!! How incredibly ignorant! 

Also, my 77 year old grandmother insists on calling me {and anyone else who is pregnant} 'FAT' --as in, 'are you getting any fatter?' or 'why can't you clean houses anymore? Getting too fat?'  uhh...no gram, I am pregnant not bulking up for winter. JERK.

Also, she has made many mentions of the fact that she never gained more than 12lbs with any of her 5 pregnancies and everytime she left the hospital she wore her prepregnancy clothing and you could see her hip bones already. Uhh...yes, because it was the 1950s and you were encouraged to continue to smoke cigarettes vs. eat food and probably given amphetamines to control your appetite plus you had 5 kids in 6 years and were 23 years old when you were finished. JERK.

geez. get a clue. learn. evolve or at least stop being a jerk.

[Jackies]

Wow, there's some doosies in there. Where does the drug addict bit come from? I can't really see the causal relationship there. Would feeding your baby carrots cause them to be a drug addict too?

[mamaharrison]

Originally Posted by Jackies 

Wow, there's some doosies in there. Where does the drug addict bit come from? I can't really see the causal relationship there. Would feeding your baby carrots cause them to be a drug addict too?

exactly! wtf??!!

[phatchristy]

Whoa, those were some crazy comments.

The weirdest response I've had so far for this one was from a cashier I know at a business I frequent.  I told her I was pregnant and her immediate response was "is someone having some surgery after this one?" with the raised eyebrow.  Yeah, she was talking permanent birth control.

What a wacky response.

With my last pregnancy I was visibly pregnant and was telling someone I hadn't seen in like 12 years who I met again that I had three kids at home.  Her response "Oh, I'm so sorry".  After my weird look and pause she's like, "oh, we just don't really like kids, I guess you're OK with having that many"

Uhhhh....????

[cieloazul]

Ugh. Filter yourselves, people! These are funny and disturbing. The one that gets me, that I've gotten more than once, is "oh that's great; now you'll have a complete set / now you're done!" This in reference to how we have a son and are expecting a daughter. Weird.

[segolilymama]

I of course get all the comments about 'so you are finally trying for that girl!' (because we have the 4 boys already/3 bio boys). Um yeah, this was a last attempt at having a daughter... not a clear call from the universe that I wanted to have 1 more baby and could in many ways care less about the sex. I think it's funny, especially if i DO have another boy - do they think I'm going to keep 'trying?' I have joked since DS3 was born, if I really want a girl I'll just go buy one....

[nhklh]

Awesome logic, right there.

Originally Posted by travelmumma 
- "by having a homebirth you will make your baby a drug addict!" well thanks EX doctor of mine!!

[nhklh]

I haven't had much in the way of stupid comments.  Strangers don't talk to me, I really only spend time with friends who are supportive, and I don't see my family.  I suspect if I spent time with my father and his wife I'd have LOADS to post here.  I've mostly avoided MIL too, and she's a prime source.

That said, my presence seems to elicit conversations among other people (not involving me).  We were at a gem & crystal show on the weekend and as I walked past a stall the women there began a conversation about "well I had to have an amniocentesis!! blah blah".   At least she wasn't sharing her horror story with me I suppose.

[Mamabeakley]

I don't get so many stupid comments generally . . . I think I'm scarily self-confident so people leave me alone.  However, my brother is married to a OB/GYN resident who (for reasons I understand, even if I don't really 'approve') is immersed in the very medical, very reality-avoiding model of maternity care prevalent in the US.  My brother felt the need to tell me a real horror story (a 1st time mom who had a uterine rupture with 'no warning signs' [this I doubt] during labor) while I was pregnant last time.  My brother was born at home, too, as were his two sibs and all four of his neices/nephews on my side of the family were born out of hospital.  It's not like he doesn't know a different model works perfectly well!  I just smiled and nodded, basically and went about my merry way. 

Not a 'pregnant' comment, but I was once told by a parishoner, "now how did you and your husband make such a cute baby?!!?"  Um  . . . well . . . I mean, we're not supermodels, but we are both moderately attractive people, even by weird cultural standards of 'beauty'.

[lulubikes]

I haven't had much by strangers yet, but my mom, who is usually pretty cool keeps commenting on how big I am and how I keep getting bigger... Then my sister in-law said the same thing, you're getting bigger. My uterus is measuring perfectly, and we would be concerned if I wasn't getting bigger, right?

[phatchristy]

Originally Posted by lulubikes 

I haven't had much by strangers yet, but my mom, who is usually pretty cool keeps commenting on how big I am and how I keep getting bigger... Then my sister in-law said the same thing, you're getting bigger. My uterus is measuring perfectly, and we would be concerned if I wasn't getting bigger, right?

I'm with you on those kind of comments.  Kind of peculiar..."oh, wow, you're getting bigger..." and so forth.  Because, hey, that's what we're supposed to do!?!

I'm actually happy to finally be past that 'hmm....wonder if she's pregnant?' state to it being obvious.  Before people could just assume I was just a bit fat!

[kateadelle]

I think the most bone-headed thing anyone has said so far was when I told my dad I was pregnant and the first thing out of his mouth was "On purpose?". Um, hello, dad - I am a lesbian, we don't often get accidentally pregnant. I think he was just shocked! He has actually been super supportive and excited. He called me early in my pregnancy and told me how excited he was and got really emotional on the phone. 

My mother and sister have both expressed their extreme dislike of the middle name we have chosen (Apache). My sister told me that she is going to hate us. My mother actually told me that she thought we were ruining the baby's life (this really made me laugh - since when has anyone's life ever been ruined by having an unusual middle name?). I can't complain too much though. I come from people with strong opinions. I have them, too. And for the most part they have kept them to themselves. I know my sister thinks I am crazy for planning a homebirth, but she never really says anything negative to me. 

Living in the Bay area certainly helps with the negative comments from strangers. Because I work in a restaurant, we have regular customers who can get pretty familiar and feel free to ask nosy questions. I keep bracing myself for horror stories, but I have heard a lot of really positive stories about "amazing natural births". 

[purposefuldoula]

This isn't really a WTF thing right now, but I just kind of got a kick out of what my MIL asked my husband last week.

I'm going to preface this with my background MIL story that I've shared on here before: When I was pregnant with DD1 and a week overdue, my MIL called my ob's office, somehow got my doctor on the phone, and demanded that I have a cesarean because every day that I went further along, I was risking her life. I only found out about it because my SIL spilled the beans. I ended up going another week after that before I had DD1. With DD2, my husband and I decided it was best not to tell her our plans at all. So, after DD2 was born, MIL asked where to send the flowers. That's when we told her just to our house.  We didn't explain very much, but I know she reads my blog, where my birth story is.  We haven't discussed any of this since, which really, there isn't much to discuss. She's an occupational therapist, so she only sees the worst and always jumps to the worst. That being said, I think I'm currently giving her aneurysm. 

So, last week, my MIL asked my husband if I was planning on a water birth. He told her that you can't really plan those sorts of things, but that yes, we will have a pool set up for my comfort. She got really quiet so he asked her if she meant to ask if I was having a homebirth. She said, well, yes, and he said, yes, too. He told me that that was pretty much the end of that topic.  

Now, I'm just wondering if she thinks that you can only have a water birth at home? Or you can only have a homebirth if you deliver in the water? 

[tropicana74]

Originally Posted by kateadelle 

I think the most bone-headed thing anyone has said so far was when I told my dad I was pregnant and the first thing out of his mouth was "On purpose?". Um, hello, dad - I am a lesbian, we don't often get accidentally pregnant. 

Now THAT is hilarious!! 

[tropicana74]

I haven't really had any rude pregnancy comments either. Though last week I was on the phone with MIL who was voicing her opinion on how crazy I would be to birth unassisted. After we had covered a few topics and I had answers for all of her "fears" (like "what about the placenta? what are you going to do about that!?" Um, wait for it to come out then dispose of it however I see fit). So she finally says "I don't know, after that baby is born I am going to have to wrap it up and take it!". Really? Take it where? It's already born and breathing and fine...take it to a doctor? The ER? Where and for what reason? Crazy fear-based comment I guess but I really couldn't figure out where she was going with that one. 

[madis81]

Wow... some interesting stories! lol

We've only had one rude response, and it was from one of the guys my DH works with. My DH was working late, so me and the kids took him dinner. While he was eating one of the guys walks up and starts talking, and all of a sudden got real quiet so the kids couldn't hear him and asks, "are they ALL yours?". He was so shocked to hear my DH tell him that yes, the 3 kids playing and the one growing were all ours. The only other response we've gotten was someone asking my DH if we were mormon, because they have large families. Apparently you can't have a bigger family unless you're a blended family or mormon.

[csvam]

I am not especially used to work people, strangers touching me without my permission- so the other day when another emloyee walked up to me and said, oh now you're really showing...then she reached out and touched my bump WITH BOTH HANDS!!! and told me I was having a girl. Um, not so much...apparently her ultrasound quality hands must need a tune up.

The need for people (ie not friends or family) to touch while you are pregnant is un-nerving. I'm trying to menally prepare myself as I get bigger.

BTW, these stories are so funny...so many WTF moments... some people are whack

[segolilymama]

kate that one killed me - I was out with some friends (lesbian) a few weeks ago, and one of them was mentioning to the group of us that she had been really nauseous for about 2 weeks. Another friend said excitedly, "maybe you are pregnant!" We all stood there for what seemed like 10 minutes waiting for her to catch on to her mistake... we all got a good laugh out of that one!

madis that one is so familiar, too - I guess one of the advantages of living in Utah is that most people here just don't even blink when, for example, DP & I take 4 of his kids & 2 or 3 of mine out anywhere together, though they all assume my oldest is adopted (his dad is Japanese, doesn't fit tin with the rest of the blonde haired kiddos).

trpoicana - maybe she means to kidnap the baby and sell it on the black market.... crazy comments....

[phatchristy]

Originally Posted by tropicana74 
So she finally says "I don't know, after that baby is born I am going to have to wrap it up and take it!". Really? Take it where? It's already born and breathing and fine...take it to a doctor? The ER? Where and for what reason? Crazy fear-based comment I guess but I really couldn't figure out where she was going with that one. 

I'd probably be having some fun with that if one of my relatives had that sort of response....I'd just talk to them about encapsulating, or doing art work with it.  If they think homebirthing is weird...hey...there's a whole lot more unusual things people do she probably doesn't know about.  Muah Ha Ha!

Originally Posted by madis81 

all of a sudden got real quiet so the kids couldn't hear him and asks, "are they ALL yours?". He was so shocked to hear my DH tell him that yes, the 3 kids playing and the one growing were all ours. The only other response we've gotten was someone asking my DH if we were mormon, because they have large families. Apparently you can't have a bigger family unless you're a blended family or mormon.

I was at a fast food restaurant for one of those 'school nights'.  I was visibly pregnant with #4 and my oldest was playing on the play area.  Well, I get into a chat with another one of the mothers and she starts talking about the kids and pregnancy and then she asks me "do they have the same father?" Which actually made me laugh.  I don't think she was meaning it to be rude because she then follows up telling me that she had kids with two different husbands.  I think people just think they know what they know.  I still meet people who are shocked when they learn how long I've been married.  I actually had someone tell me, "I don't believe in unconditional love".  I guess if you've seen chaotic relationships all around you and don't have good examples of good, healthy relationships you're just going to assume most others don't have that either?  My brother in law told me before he proposed to my sister that he was really scared of the whole idea of marriage before he met us (DH and I).  His parents and extended family were like Jerry Springer like drama in the marriage/relationship category.