How much socialization do your kids get? - Page 2

[mrsmischief]

I think you're schedule sounds good. This is an issue I struggle with too, having an only child and a neighborhood where signs of life are non-existent. Thanks to careful effort, my daughter has at least 12 hours with children every week through youth athletics (soccer for the fall), extracurricular activities (hula dance & Hawaiian culture class, messy art class, classes at the nature park), enrichment day with our homeschool group, and play dates with friends. Several trips to the park are on our agenda every week to allow for more play time too. 

[kait]

Sounds like you are doing great. I commend you! I grew up homeschooled in a rural area, and isolation was a pretty big problem for me during several years.

Oddly enough, I think introverts have a tougher time of it than extroverts. I am an introvert, and the activities I did each week (ballet class and church) were group oriented. The monthly homeschool group meetings, were also group oriented, and usually focused around games or other activities. Introverts need one-on-one time, and good conversations with others, which I wasn't finding.

I loved to have a guest my age (sometimes she brought her siblings to play with my siblings) come over to hang out with me. My parents were good about this, but I didn't have many friends, so it wasn't something that happened often enough.

So just be aware if your kid is socializing in the way he or she needs to, I guess. :)

[Emaye]

Originally Posted by kait 

Sounds like you are doing great. I commend you! I grew up homeschooled in a rural area, and isolation was a pretty big problem for me during several years.

Oddly enough, I think introverts have a tougher time of it than extroverts. I am an introvert, and the activities I did each week (ballet class and church) were group oriented. The monthly homeschool group meetings, were also group oriented, and usually focused around games or other activities. Introverts need one-on-one time, and good conversations with others, which I wasn't finding.

I loved to have a guest my age (sometimes she brought her siblings to play with my siblings) come over to hang out with me. My parents were good about this, but I didn't have many friends, so it wasn't something that happened often enough.

So just be aware if your kid is socializing in the way he or she needs to, I guess. :)

Thanks for sharing your experience.   My kids LOVE to have kids over.  So I have kids around their age over to our house a few times a week.  They also like taking classes out of the house a few times a week, BUT I noticed it is not at all a social thing for them.  They don't know any of the kids in their classes or try to.  As soon as the classes are over, kids just run out with their parents so there is no time to be social.  So, as of now, we have kids come over 2-3 times a week and they have activities 2-3 times a week.  I am still working on arranging other playdates during the week. 

Having playdates at my house wrecks the place but it seems to work the best as the parents seem to like it instead of the other way around.  So, we will continue to do this.  

The thing is, while I was not homeschooled myself, my summer and winter breaks were spent with sparse contact with other kids.  I remember feeling lonely from a young age and could not wait for school to open back up so that I could be with my friends.  I really don't want to leave my kids wanting in this way.  

[kait]

Ah. Yeah it's far from a homeschooler problem. Loneliness can affect us in so many different situations. :(

[CortLong]

My oldest daughter(age 11) has 1-2 activities a week with outside kids without our family.

My second daughter (age 7 1/2) has 1 activity a week with outside kids without our family.

We generally do 1-2 other things a week with outside kids as a family. Playgroups, art group, etc.

[edwardsmom]

I guess I have different ideas about socialization.  Is taking a class or organized sport with other children considered socialization?  If so, then my kids get about 8 to 12 hours a week of classes and sports, more in spring & summer.

Or is free play socialization?  Then, my kids get about 8 to 16 hours a week.

Both, then would be 16 to 30 hours a week. 

Personally, I don't think that being in class together is socialization.  I don't know how many times I've heard teachers in public school say "you're not here to socialize" to kids in their class.  So, for public schooled kids, a school day might consist of an hour or two of my definition socialization, between lunch, recess and chatting on lines or between classes.

[txmommyofboys]

We have friends over 1-2 times a week. The 9 & 6 year old do karate, 9 year old does fencing. They go to the childcare at the gym 4-5 times a week for 2 hours at a time.

[RavenStar]

Every other week we get together with our homeschool group.  This provides larger group activities and one-on-one/small group play.

We get together with friends 1-2 times a week.

Then there is random play time with other children we meet at the park or the library.

[Storm Bride]

Every other week, we get together with several other homeschool families. We have occasional one-on-one outings with a couple of those families.

On the alternating week, ds2 attends a homeschool chess club (with a different group of kids). This is followed by an art class, which dd1 usually attends, with or without ds2 (if ds2 doesn't do art, he hangs around playing with other siblings of the art students, just as dd1 does during chess club).

During the week, they both attend Tae Kwon Do classes, which allow a bit of chatting and such. They're also in a circus class right now, but there are only two other students. (DD2 is in a parent and tot circus class that runs in the same space, at the same time - the older kids love watching the little ones do their thing.)

DD1 also goes to ballet, where she met one of her best friends. The friend no longer goes to that class (dd1 does ballet recreationally, and her friend has moved into more serious classes), but they still hang out.

DS2 also wants to join the boys and girls club again. It's an after school program, located at a local public school. He was attending around one day a week last year, and really enjoyed it.

They both have neighbourhood friends, as well, although dd1 has been luckier in that department than ds2.

[DaughterOfKali]

My son takes a weekly homeschoolers Italian class.  Plus, he gets together with friends 1-3 times a week.  It's not enough for him, though.  He really wants more friends.

He's an only child so it gets pretty lonely for him at home.

We recently found out that our school district has finally agreed to send my son out of district.  This means he'll be able to attend a specialized school. Not sure when he'll start, though.  It could be this winter or it may not be until September.

[onlygirls]

If I could go back to the days of having an easier schedule, I would in a heartbeat!  For some reason we have our kids OVER scheduled.  

My 10 y/o is in Geo Bee group (geography) every Monday, First Lego League every Sunday, Girl Scouts and dance 5+ days a week.  She is in her first year of competitive dance and has worked really hard to get there.  I can't pull her out now because I am driving to the studio every day. 

My 6 year old has gymnastics on Monday for an hour and a half and dance on Wednesday for 2 hours.

My 4 year old has gymnastics on Monday for an hour and dance on Wednesday mornings for 1.5 hours.

When I look at our family calendar, it feels manageable.  But I am exhausted. 

Our whole family is just crazy since my husband works nights (full time) works a lot of OT and goes to school (full time)

The kids have 12/17 - 12/6 off from EVERYTHING and we have not gone anywhere.  I am simply trying to get my house in order.  Filing papers, organizing bedrooms, purging crap.

Sorry this is so long.  In a nutshell, enjoy your time with your kiddos.

[moominmamma]

Originally Posted by Emaye 

The thing is, while I was not homeschooled myself, my summer and winter breaks were spent with sparse contact with other kids.  I remember feeling lonely from a young age and could not wait for school to open back up so that I could be with my friends.  I really don't want to leave my kids wanting in this way.  

That's a different situation, though. As a school-child, you were used to learning at school, to having your days highly structured, and were probably much more peer-oriented than a typical homeschooled child. When there's a dramatic change in one's daily structure and social environment, there's always an adjustment period. I remember having trouble for the first half of summer holidays each year myself, and then I'd hit my stride with projects, reading, exploring and self-directed learning. I was fortunate that I lived in an educationally-rich home environment, and my parents did act very much like unschooling parents during the summers, noticing and responding to my interests, facilitating experiences if I wanted help, giving me the freedom to pursue things in more depth on my own if I didn't. Without less of that, it might have taken me longer to "deschool" each summer.

Homeschooled kids grow up with different boredom-management and self-direction skill-sets, as well as different social expectations. Their "normal" may be quite different than what school-kids expect, but because it's what they're used to, they can be very happy with it. Each child is different, of course, but I think this is true in a general way.

Miranda

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by onlygirls 

When I look at our family calendar, it feels manageable.  But I am exhausted. 

I'm a little worried after reading this. I'm not sure January-February looks manageable, even on paper. I definitely over scheduled for two months.

Mondays: Gymnastics for an hour and a half, and it's about an hour's drive from here. This is dd1 and ds2.

Tuesdays: Piano for half an hour (dd1), followed by a 30 minute swimming lesson (ds2). I have choir rehearsals on Tuesday night, starting an hour and a half after swimming.

Wednedsay: DD1 and ds2 are taking a four hour afternoon class. It's designed for homeschoolers - they'll be creating a pretend city and learning about the ecomonics and logistics involved in running a city. This is our first class with the woman who developed it, but I've heard raves about her from within the homeschooling community. Then, they both have Tae Kwon Do at 6:00.

Thursday: DD1 has a 40 minute skating lesson at 4:00, followed by ds2's swimming lesson at 5:00 (the two facilities are right across a parking lot from each other).

Friday: Every other week, we'll attend our homelearning group - about 12 families - where we socialize and hold workshops. On alternating Fridays, both kids will be attending chess club at 12:00, followed by art classes at 1:30 (same venue!).

Saturday: DD1 has ballet at 2:30.

I'm tired just looking at it. I'm also going to have to do some really serious meal planning and organizing, as many of these activities overlap with either meal prep time, or our usual dinner time. (We eat after Tae Kwon Do on Wednesdays, though - it's a pretty physically intense program, and they don't need full stomachs.)

I didn't really mean to book us in to so much, but the homelearning meetup, ballet, piano, Tae Kwon Do, chess club and art classes are all ongoing throughout the year. We've dropped circus, which they took for seven weeks (end of October until December), but added the city/economics class, gymnastics, swimming and skating. I may make a giant pot of soup every Sunday, and we can eat it all week.

[CoBabyMaker]

StormBride, My head is spinning just reading that but maybe that's because my kids are still so little.  We had 3 things each week this fall and I knew a 4th would be too much.  I imagine it's much different when they are older though. 

Anyhow, I wanted to suggest some freezer crockpot meals for you.  I have found them to be a lifesaver for those busy seasons.  All the prep is done ahead and kept in a bag in the freezer and then just tossed in the crockpot!

[Emaye]

Originally Posted by moominmamma 

Homeschooled kids grow up with different boredom-management and self-direction skill-sets, as well as different social expectations. Their "normal" may be quite different than what school-kids expect, but because it's what they're used to, they can be very happy with it. Each child is different, of course, but I think this is true in a general way.

Miranda

This seems to be true.  Both my kids don't miss their friends when they are not here.  They are busy with their own stuff and are immensely enjoying themselves.  I have been impressed by how well they are managing their days without too many complaints about being bored.  Hopefully this continues to be the case.  

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by CoBabyMaker 

StormBride, My head is spinning just reading that but maybe that's because my kids are still so little.  We had 3 things each week this fall and I knew a 4th would be too much.  I imagine it's much different when they are older though. 

Anyhow, I wanted to suggest some freezer crockpot meals for you.  I have found them to be a lifesaver for those busy seasons.  All the prep is done ahead and kept in a bag in the freezer and then just tossed in the crockpot!

I may try that. We definitely need to find some organized approach to meals for the next few months.

I don't usually book so much. This was just one of those things...dd1 has been wanting to do gymnastics for ages, and the local programs are too expensive, but this one (on the other side of the city) came along, and is really cheap, even with the extra driving. The same thing applies with the course on Wednesdays - I've been wanting to do it for a while, but the only location was way too far away, and this year, she's offering classes close by, so I jumped on it. One thing just kind of piled onto another. I think I'm going to be encouraging some in-car reading!

[Red Pajama]

I have no idea if what we're doing is "right", but it's what works right now, for us.

Several times a year, but not all the time, the boys (now second graders) have art classes, swim classes.  Once a month they have a homeschool discovery group that is put on by the library.  Once a week they attend sunday school.  There is often another class once a month at the library, and I try to get them into it. Summer time is summer classes at the library, as well as VBS.

That's it. We aren't currently doing any sports other than swimming.  One boy is starting to get interested in soccer, and little sister wants dance classes.  Haven't started those yet.

In our community, there's a kids drama group that puts on a few plays each year. They are for kids 3rd grade - 8th grade.  Many of the participants are homeschoolers.

[mommy68]

Socialization doesn't mean you only socialize with people your age, including our children. :)

With that, do you go out places like the store? library? doctor? restaurants? visit family? All of those are considered social time. Your children are talking to people during those times. Don't put so much thought in to it. They are actually much better off "socializing" with "people" of various ages.