9 days late - no spotting or signs of AF ... just needing encouragement

[sierra9779]

Hi there. I'm writing on this forum because it's not appropriate to tell my immediate support system that I'm so late yet. I say this because everyone will want to put their 2 cents in & that will only cause me more stress.

I'm a single 32 yr old woman. For 2 plus years I've been with the same "S.O." and just missed my period by over a week.

My cycle is usually always around 28 days give or take a 1-3 days at most.Not only that but my period has been coming 1 to 2 days early since Jan. (started coming on 25, then 23, then 21, then 18, then 16 and then July it came on the 14th). I had sex with the SO on July 16 (3rd day of my 4 day period - and 4th day is usually nothing more than just the leftover spotting). Then had sex again with the SO on July 25 but he always pulls out & we've never had a problem with this method & we're both healthy, get checked regularly, etc. That being said. I'm over a week late this month of August (and according to various calculations I could be a little less or even a little more late than that).

Ideally I've wanted children later in my 30's after career is established, but no matter when it happens, I know in my heart, I'm meant to be a mother at some point so I can't say I wouldn't be excited if I had an unexpected surprise, on the other hand.  I have 5 amazing nieces & nephews that I adore!

So far, I've been usually tired ALL the time (I'm talking wanting to nap in the middle of the day which I never do), bloated since about 2 weeks ago, and have severe lower back pain but the wierd thing is ... I have NO spotting at all! And that's always the sign I know my period's coming because I get the "old blood" spotting about 3-4 days before AF really comes & this time so far .... nothing at all whatsoever - I'm clear as can possibly be. Also, last week I remember thinking "okay it's about that time so I'll probably be seeing the old blood soon and then start " but still .... nothing.

Regardless, I'm just trying to ease my mind before I do test because i think there's a strong chance just by writing this AF will come tomorrow! ha.ha. If not, I'd be happy/at peace either way honestly. I just don't want to test yet because if I mentally prepare for the possibility of pregnancy & get excited and then it's negative, I'll be sad. But if I wait & AF  does come in these last days of August, I'll not have needed to test anyway.

I'm sure a lot of you can relate to the agony of suspense. Please keep me in your thoughts either way. Thanks.

[Mosaic]

I dunno, it could be a number of things. It sounds like your cycle has been a little bit wonky lately anyway, getting shorter, etc. I half wonder if you're dealing with anovulatory cycle(s), which could explain why you're late.

Honestly, I'm a big fan of testing, even if it just stops the worrying/obsessing for a little bit!

[pokeyAC]

Just wanted to offer some encouragement!  You will know one way or the other soon.  I agree that testing is good if just to end the suspense. 

[sierra9779]

I think I'm going to just stay busy for now, wait a few more days & then if AF does not come in a few more days then I'll test. Because at that point it would be almost the entire month of Aug with no AF at all, so I'll for sure test then.

At this point, since it would just be more stressful to tell my own support system but normally would turn them to for support & positive encouragement, I really do appreciate the positive words on here instead. It really helps calm me down, give me peace of mind just to be able to share my situation & helps motivate me to just keep busy for now.

I will for sure let you all know what happens either way! Thanks so much.

Edited by sierra9779 - 8/22/12 at 12:00pm

[Hayzel26]

I am currently 9 days late for AF as well so I know how you feel. I have taken a few tests but they were all negative. If I am pregnant than I might just not be producing enough of the pregnancy hormone. This would be my second pregnancy...i was about 1 1/2 - 2 months pregnant when I got a faint positive on a test. I'm trying not to get discouraged by a negative now because I know it can take time for the hormone to build up and every woman is different. So don't feel discouraged if you do test and get a negative because it might not be right. If AF doesn't come and you get negative tests you could always talk to your dr (i unfortunately cannot do this because I have no insurance...so it's the waiting game for me). Good luck and I hope everything works out in your favor!

[sierra9779]

Hi everyone. I said I'd update those who offered support on here for me so ..... even though I would have been at total peace about what ever happens this month (pregnant or not) it looks like motherhood for me is going to be later in my life. Last night just before bed I started getting pink discharge & this morning I saw a tiny bit of blood so I tested just for official confirmation that I wasn't in fact pregnant and it did come up negative. I haven't fully started yet & no full cramps or anything but that makes sense because if I'm so late then spotting usually comes a few days before my full period arrives anyway.

Thanks for the encouragement. These past few days have been torture not knowing the outcome of such a huge factor in my life, as I'm sure you all can relate to.

Wishing all of you good health & happiness no matter what happens for you.
 

[pokeyAC]

Thanks for the update.  I wish you all the best for  the future!

[sierra9779]

Hi ladies. (FYI - this post will be graphic, I'm sorry if it's TMI)

I know I just replied earlier today that I tested negative and started some light spotting but no real cramps or period yet but tonight something happened that has never happened before in my periods. I never got the dull aching cramps like I normally do and never filled a tampon today at all and then all of the sudden I kept getting these really sharp pains where my cervix would be (around my right lower side) and the next thing I know I'm doubled over on my bathroom floor crying out in severe cramping pain. So bad I had to immediately pull out my tampon because it hurt for it to be inside of me. For about 30 minutes I couldn't move except only to take some chewable asprin. (And please keep in mind my periods are always a breeze I'm one of the lucky ones who only has slightly uncomfortable dull ache for a moment and then two days of period then spotting and I'm done.)Then I had to just sit on toilet because I couldn't move at all or I'd cry out in pain (I thought this must how painful contractions are). I was in so much pain I thought I was going to vomit and might have to go to the hospital if it did stop. After I pulled out my tampon (that didn't have much more than a few drops of blood on it) and felt a rush of blood flow really fast onto my underwear so changed my underwear and then felt like I had to pee really badly so I went to pee and something literally fell out of my vagina along with lots of blood. I knew something wasn't right so I checked the toilet to see if there was anything unusual in it and I found something I've never seen in my periods ever before. I immediately started shaking and thought "OMG I think I know what that is". I had to take pictures of it because I think I might need to tell my doctor. So, it was an extremely large piece of tissue but this wasn't like my uterus lining being shed during period (that for me is just very very thin small pieces of hard skin like tissue that is all purple looking and that is normal for my period to have little pieces of that every once in a while) ...  instead this was like a 2 inch long 1 inch wide very thick, thick piece of completely clear tissue with some weird purple and grey lines running through it and all bloody of course. 

I've never had a miscarriage so I don't know what it looks or feels like and I did test negative earlier today so I never even thought for a moment that it could happen ... but I'm pretty sure now that I just experienced my first very early miscarriage.  I'm still shaking and scared and sad about what 's been happening to my body lately.

[pokeyAC]

That is very strange.  I'm sorry you were in so much pain.  I hope you are feeling better.  Will you have a chance to talk to your doctor about this soon?  I had a very early miscarriage (chemical pregnancy) and it was just like a normal period.   I wonder if what you experienced was something different.  I'm sorry you are feeling scared and confused.  I hope you are able to talk to your doctor soon and get some answers.  Even if you are not trying to get pregnant now, it's always good to know you are healthy.    Take care.

[sierra9779]

Thanks for checking in about my unusually painful and very late period. It was something I've never experienced before and the tissue I passed was so large and painful that I only imagined I might have perhaps miscarried if I was in fact pregnant.

I went to the hospital to get checked over the weekend in case there was something seriously wrong and they tested preg hormone levels and no levels were detected so they eventually ruled out miscarriage. 

They said sometimes your body produces really thick uterus tissue because it thinks it's supposed to be preparing for a pregnancy that month ... which is also why I was so late ... but when no egg is actually fertilized it simply releases the entire uterine "cast" all in one whole entire very large very painful piece instead of shedding the normally thinner tissue in small broken down pieces throughout the length of a normal period.

So apparently this "uterine or decidual cast" is created in pregnancy too (and you might find it come out of you even if you did M/C) and is related to what eventually becomes placenta or something like that. This is what the doctor at the hospital explained to me. He said I seemed to be healthy, as in no cysts or anything else abnormal, and this is a semi-rare thing to happen to a woman on average but it does happen to women every once in a while. So I was told ... it's actually more common for those who either experience ectopic pregnancy, have Endometriosis, or are on b/c, even though I wasn't on b/c and didn't have the other causes (so I'm told at least), so it was just a random weird natural occurrence for me this time, I suppose. (still not entirely sure).

So .... if you think you might have miscarried but have no pos. pregnancy hormone then you might have actually just passed a "decidual / uterine cast" instead. WARNING: Do not google this term if you aren't prepared to see very graphic images of this large bloody piece of tissue.

(And that's what fell out of me! Ooch!)

So, anyway, I thought this was good information to know for all women who ever wonder what's going on, like I did.

I'm all better now though. Thanks for all the support. It truly did help me get through that very worrisome process.

Hope everyone is doing well. Take care.