Weird cycle, really worried

[elysabeth]

My cycle has been very strange this month, I have always had a regular cycle around 30 days and a 6 day period. I can't use any hormonal birth control because of health issues. We have been using the withdrawal method for the last 8 months successfully. I know it's not the most reliable method out there but we're both around 30, in a LTR and accept the risk. We aren't ready to start a family just yet. I'm not consistent enough in charting my CM or temps so I'm not sure when I ovulate.

My LMP started Aug 2. I thought it stopped on the 7th but I started bleeding (heavily, like a period) again on the 8th, and continued until the 11th. On the 11th we were intimate, (sorry if TMI) because I was still bleeding he assumed it was safe and didn't pull out. (Oops!) We weren't intimate again until the 18th.

On the 20th I noticed some dark pink discharge on TP. I put on a pantyliner but it stopped almost immediately. I have never had spotting between periods before. I realized that if I conceived on the 11th, it would be exactly the right time for implantation bleeding! It fits the descriptions I've seen for it too. I'm really worried and kicking myself now. I hoped that if I was still menstruating I probably wasn't fertile. After going over my calendar, it looks like I definitely could have been fertile that day. 

What do you think? I guess I just need to wait to test and see if my next period comes on time.  I'm just trying not to drive myself absolutely crazy waiting. I feel stupid that we made such a careless mistake and I'm freaking out over it. 

[pokeyAC]

Sometimes cycles are just weird and different and we don't really know why.  From what I have heard, implantation spotting does not always happen when someone is pregnant, so who knows?  Hang in there and try not to beat yourself up.  Your thought process made sense at the time.  I hope you get your answer soon.

[elysabeth]

Thanks for the encouragement, I'm trying not to stress too much. I just noticed I have light pink spotting with creamy CM again today, so that isn't helping much.  I don't have any PMS symptoms and it seems far too early to be AF, too late for O spotting and my CM isn't right for it. I do have a very light, not-quite-crampy feeling. I just feel weird. 

I think I still need to wait a few more days to test. It will be difficult for me to get one without raising any suspicions. I live in a rural area with my SO and can't get to a store on my own. A much younger single family member just had a baby a few days ago, and I want to keep my worries to myself until I'm sure. I don't feel comfortable confiding in anyone about this right now. 

I am definitely going to start charting more carefully with temps from now on. I haven't done it before because my cycle has always been so consistent but I'm sure it would be much less stressful if I knew when I ovulated in a time like this!