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Why did you choose a home birth? - Page 2

post #21 of 40
Quote:
Originally Posted by EcoConsciousMom View Post

 

For the moms who have multiple children and are delivering at home, are you planning on having your other children present at the birth? I know it depends on their ages and whether they are interested in it or not. I'm just curious if it's pretty common. I keep thinking I will have my daughter there for her sibling(s) birth(s). If you did, how did it go?

 

 

I originally planned on having my almost 3 year old son at my home birth.  We watched gentle home birth videos together a couple times a week in the last two months and constantly talked about his new "sister"...(he was very confused that he had a little brother when it was all said and done)  :)  However, when it came closer to my labor I was having a lot of prodomal (sp) labor, for probably a good week.  I'd have great contractions all day long and then I'd get home from work and they would completely stop as I took care of my son.  My oldest has NEVER been a good sleeper so I would never have contractions at night either, I was always too concerned with making sure he was resting ok.  The Friday following my due date rolled around and I was ready!  I decided to call my sister to come pick up my son for the afternoon to see if we could get things started, low and behold...20 minutes after he left I REALLY went into labor.  I told my hubby to call my sister and have my son come back when it got to pushing time, but we were all pretty distracted as I freaked out a little through the pushing phase (previous birth trauma).  When I finally gave in the baby was born in two contractions so we didn't get a chance to call.  In the end I was really glad my oldest wasn't there.  He is pretty sensitive and would have been really upset if he saw how upset I was getting.  There was crying, screaming and begging for a good 30 minutes until I finally surrendered to my body.  My sister doesn't live far so they were back about 30 minutes after the baby was born.  He was instantly in love with his new baby, but wanted to know where his sister was.  :)  

post #22 of 40
Thread Starter 

Thanks trimommy. My daughter is also very sensitive to others and their feelings. I'll have to definitely keep that in mind with my next pregnancy. That's also interesting about your labor stopping when around your older son. It makes a lot of sense and I'll keep an eye on that with my future births. :)

 

It's amazing how much outside influences and our mental state really help/distract with labor. 

post #23 of 40

My sister's kids have been there for all the births, asleep.  They didn't wake up or bug her when they were awake for part of labor.  My neice actually came in at one point and asked "mommy are you alright?"  She says that was actually pretty comforting, because hse could be all, yeah, actually, I am alright, and it was encouraging for her.

post #24 of 40

I had two home births. My first, for DS, was accidental. A contraction knocked me to the floor as I was trying to leave for the hospital, the baby started to crown and I called the paramedics to deliver right there on the living room carpet. The whole thing was no more than 90 minutes from first contraction to delivery. Then we went to the hospital and it was such a hassle and so intrusive. Ugh.

 

I guess I can say I chose to have my second kid, DD, at home because I was lazy -- if the first labor and delivery was so fast, and the hospital experience sucked so much, why bother leaving the house, right? This labor was only a few minutes longer than the first and my midwife drove across the city to arrive just in time to catch my daughter. I delivered in my own shower (clean up was a breeze!), retreated to my own bed, had my baby with me the whole time, and didn't have to worry about luggage, parking, or admissions paperwork. Fabulous!

post #25 of 40
  • Did you grow up expecting a home birth (parents were hippies, you were born at home, etc...)?

Nope. 

  • Did you have a bad experience with a previous birth at a hospital (complications, unwanted epideral, unwanted c-section, staff didn't follow your wishes, etc...)? 

I had wanted a natural birth but had  a miscarriage in which I was treated disrespectfully and was emotionally traumatic to me.  This caused me to second guess my having a baby at the only local hospital, so I began researching FSBC's 2 hrs away.  Had my first there, but ended up in a transfer for breathing problems.  Went back for my second, but my cnm dismissed my obvious signs of active labor.  I finally told her I was coming in (I was staying 20 minutes away from FSBC) and my husband caught our baby pulled over on an off ramp of I-10.  Amby took us to a hospital not of our choice and hospital kept us there under duress--threat of CPS if we left--in spite of nothing being wrong...she was delivered in an "unsterile environment", i.e. our truck.  At that point, HB looked pretty good, lol. 

  • Did you do research to lead to this decision? 

I did research it, but I also felt that home was the only place where I would be respected if I could find  a competant midwife that I was comfortable with.  HBing was actually a big step outside of my comfort zone, but I hope not to have to have my babies anywhere else (I am due with my 5th--my 3rd HB in a few weeks).

  • Did a family member or friend recommend it? 

I knew of one person who had had a HB and actually attended her birth as her attendant was late and she asked me over, but at that point HB was not something I was interested in; but natural birthing was.

post #26 of 40
Quote:
Originally Posted by EcoConsciousMom View Post

 

For the moms who have multiple children and are delivering at home, are you planning on having your other children present at the birth? I know it depends on their ages and whether they are interested in it or not. I'm just curious if it's pretty common. I keep thinking I will have my daughter there for her sibling(s) birth(s). If you did, how did it go?

 

My kids will be there(obviously lol), but not sure if they'll witness the birth. I have a pattern of early births(1:44am and 6:32am), so if they are asleep, they are asleep, if they are awake, they can watch if they want, or just do their own thing... I won't force them to watch the birth, but also won't deny them the opportunity if they want. 

My daughter will be 4.5 when baby is due, my son either about to be or will be 3.. which is both quite a bit older than my daughter was when DS was born(she was 19 months). We had planned for her to be in the room for his birth, but during pushing, I requested that the midwives take her out because *I* wasn't comfortable with her in there. This time around she's VERY VERY outspoken about wanting to see the baby be born, we talk about it a lot, watch Youtube videos on the matter, etc. 

post #27 of 40
Thread Starter 

Thanks everyone. :)

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by fayebond View Post

My sister's kids have been there for all the births, asleep.  They didn't wake up or bug her when they were awake for part of labor.  My neice actually came in at one point and asked "mommy are you alright?"  She says that was actually pretty comforting, because hse could be all, yeah, actually, I am alright, and it was encouraging for her.

 

That's so sweet. I can see my daughter doing something like that (if she were speaking clearly, lol). However, my hubby gets more frantic and scared than I do. It's kind of funny how he overreacts to noises sometimes. With me I think she would be easy, but with him there too it might cause some stress on her. How old was your niece at the time?

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by WittyNameHere View Post

I had two home births. My first, for DS, was accidental. A contraction knocked me to the floor as I was trying to leave for the hospital, the baby started to crown and I called the paramedics to deliver right there on the living room carpet. The whole thing was no more than 90 minutes from first contraction to delivery. Then we went to the hospital and it was such a hassle and so intrusive. Ugh.

 

I guess I can say I chose to have my second kid, DD, at home because I was lazy -- if the first labor and delivery was so fast, and the hospital experience sucked so much, why bother leaving the house, right? This labor was only a few minutes longer than the first and my midwife drove across the city to arrive just in time to catch my daughter. I delivered in my own shower (clean up was a breeze!), retreated to my own bed, had my baby with me the whole time, and didn't have to worry about luggage, parking, or admissions paperwork. Fabulous!

 

Wow. I can understand the hospital being intrusive. I've been twice (non pregnancy related) and nurses were awesome, doctors didn't listen or respect anything it seemed. I think it's partially how they are trained in medical school. 

 

Nice to get into your own bed after birth. I loved that part too.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by dannic View Post

  • Did you grow up expecting a home birth (parents were hippies, you were born at home, etc...)?

Nope. 

  • Did you have a bad experience with a previous birth at a hospital (complications, unwanted epideral, unwanted c-section, staff didn't follow your wishes, etc...)? 

I had wanted a natural birth but had  a miscarriage in which I was treated disrespectfully and was emotionally traumatic to me.  This caused me to second guess my having a baby at the only local hospital, so I began researching FSBC's 2 hrs away.  Had my first there, but ended up in a transfer for breathing problems.  Went back for my second, but my cnm dismissed my obvious signs of active labor.  I finally told her I was coming in (I was staying 20 minutes away from FSBC) and my husband caught our baby pulled over on an off ramp of I-10.  Amby took us to a hospital not of our choice and hospital kept us there under duress--threat of CPS if we left--in spite of nothing being wrong...she was delivered in an "unsterile environment", i.e. our truck.  At that point, HB looked pretty good, lol. 

  • Did you do research to lead to this decision? 

I did research it, but I also felt that home was the only place where I would be respected if I could find  a competant midwife that I was comfortable with.  HBing was actually a big step outside of my comfort zone, but I hope not to have to have my babies anywhere else (I am due with my 5th--my 3rd HB in a few weeks).

  • Did a family member or friend recommend it? 

I knew of one person who had had a HB and actually attended her birth as her attendant was late and she asked me over, but at that point HB was not something I was interested in; but natural birthing was.

 

I'm sorry you had a bad hospital experience after something so traumatic in itself. I would hope people could be more caring in these situations and remember it's not just a "procedure". Hospitals do seem to threaten CPS if you don't follow what they are doing. It's harder for people who don't agree with their methods.

 

Congrats on #5! Obviously you liked the home birth option if it'll be your 3rd HB. I think that speaks for itself. :)

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by alaskanmomma View Post

My kids will be there(obviously lol), but not sure if they'll witness the birth. I have a pattern of early births(1:44am and 6:32am), so if they are asleep, they are asleep, if they are awake, they can watch if they want, or just do their own thing... I won't force them to watch the birth, but also won't deny them the opportunity if they want. 

My daughter will be 4.5 when baby is due, my son either about to be or will be 3.. which is both quite a bit older than my daughter was when DS was born(she was 19 months). We had planned for her to be in the room for his birth, but during pushing, I requested that the midwives take her out because *I* wasn't comfortable with her in there. This time around she's VERY VERY outspoken about wanting to see the baby be born, we talk about it a lot, watch Youtube videos on the matter, etc. 

 

Lol. Yeah, they would be there. That makes sense to not wake them if they are so early. I've only had my daughter and she was born at 2:45pm. I don't know if that's indicative of future births or anything though. So it sounds like you are talking to them and explaining what will happen, then giving them the option at the time. I think that will be what I do as well.  I'm assuming your hubby would be with you and unavailable to watch the kids. However, some women seem to kick their hubby out during labor. Are you planning on having another relative/friend there to watch the kids if they choose not to be with you? Or just playing it by ear? 

post #28 of 40
Quote:
Originally Posted by EcoConsciousMom View Post

I....

 

  • Did you grow up expecting a home birth (parents were hippies, you were born at home, etc...)?
....

 

Not really. My mom was actually considered high risk (although I didn't understand that when I was little) and had several miscarriages, a couple preemies (who didn't make it) and finally ended up with me and my sister (who was a breech c/s). I did hear of the Leboyer method when I was little and thought that it sounded nice.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by EcoConsciousMom View Post

...
  • Did you have a bad experience with a previous birth at a hospital (complications, unwanted epideral, unwanted c-section, staff didn't follow your wishes, etc...)?
...

 

nope. My first was born at home with no problems. My 2nd was a birth center (a nice birth center, like a bed and breakfast feel with nurses). My 3rd will be at home. I did however have bad (and not bad just not good ones, with indifferent attendants) non-birthing experiences with drs and hospitals on many various occasions.

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by EcoConsciousMom View Post

....

  • Did you do research to lead to this decision?
...

 

I don't really remember. I think so. I always research everything into oblivion.

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by EcoConsciousMom View Post

....
  • Did a family member or friend recommend it?
....

 

 

No. Before I started going to my midwives I had never met another homebirther (that I knew of). Most of my friends were like "where?" but they know I do what I do. :)

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by EcoConsciousMom View Post
...

 

EDIT: I noticed this sub-forum has a lot of military moms who chose home birth. I'm really curious as to why with that aspect. A friend had a home water birth and her husband is a former Marine, but I can't ask about it since he wasn't on base at the time and had retired.

 

I am not a "military mom" but I am married to a solider. I don't think for me it had much to do with me choosing HB. It was a factor in the birth center (our ins paid for the BC, but not the HB. We also were living in a state where it was very hard to find a HB midwife, we were only living there due to my husbands job.

 

 

 

I don't really see the point in sitting in a car for 10-45+min (depending on where we were from each hospital for each kid) which is really uncomfortable. Then I know if I went to a hospital that had lots of strangers staring at me labor would stall, plus I don't react well to needles (not a fear, I just don't like the pain of them, but I don't think labour hurts really, just needles). I know I would end up in a c/s for no real reason. Staying at home my daughter was born about 4 hours after we called the midwives (or would have left for the hospital). My son was born 5.5 hours after we got to the birth center, I think he would have been faster if we hadn't stalled from the car ride and hadn't had the nurse I had never met (just one though, not 3 plus 5 interns) trying to talk to me because she had never met me and didn't know I don't like being talked to when I am busy. Plus there are soooo many things an OB wants that I don't see the point in. I did try to have a backup OB before and have gotten into an argument with two different secretaries in two different states about how I don't really need an HIV test (they both said it was required by law, which it's not, and they told me my baby would be tested before I left the hospital if I didn't get one right then, I told them 'ok, have fun with that' eyesroll.gif biglaugh.gif Also the last one didn't understand why I wasn't going to sign the consent to an ultrasound on the first appt, I said I don't have a reason to have an u/s, she said 'it's to check dates' I said we know the dates. Really if they can't trust me to write something so simple on my calender then how can I trust them? ) Basically I don't want to argue with people when I am trying to birth you know? And I don't want to talk to people who treat me like an idiot or a non-human. (I know not all drs are like that, just a majority that my ins covers).

post #29 of 40
Thread Starter 
Quote:

I don't really remember. I think so. I always research everything into oblivion.

 

No. Before I started going to my midwives I had never met another homebirther (that I knew of). Most of my friends were like "where?" but they know I do what I do. :)

 

I don't really see the point in sitting in a car for 10-45+min (depending on where we were from each hospital for each kid) which is really uncomfortable. Then I know if I went to a hospital that had lots of strangers staring at me labor would stall, plus I don't react well to needles (not a fear, I just don't like the pain of them, but I don't think labour hurts really, just needles). I know I would end up in a c/s for no real reason. Staying at home my daughter was born about 4 hours after we called the midwives (or would have left for the hospital). My son was born 5.5 hours after we got to the birth center, I think he would have been faster if we hadn't stalled from the car ride and hadn't had the nurse I had never met (just one though, not 3 plus 5 interns) trying to talk to me because she had never met me and didn't know I don't like being talked to when I am busy. Plus there are soooo many things an OB wants that I don't see the point in. I did try to have a backup OB before and have gotten into an argument with two different secretaries in two different states about how I don't really need an HIV test (they both said it was required by law, which it's not, and they told me my baby would be tested before I left the hospital if I didn't get one right then, I told them 'ok, have fun with that' eyesroll.gif biglaugh.gif Also the last one didn't understand why I wasn't going to sign the consent to an ultrasound on the first appt, I said I don't have a reason to have an u/s, she said 'it's to check dates' I said we know the dates. Really if they can't trust me to write something so simple on my calender then how can I trust them? ) Basically I don't want to argue with people when I am trying to birth you know? And I don't want to talk to people who treat me like an idiot or a non-human. (I know not all drs are like that, just a majority that my ins covers).

 

Lol. It sounded like I wrote a lot of that. ;) 

 

Yes, doctors aren't all this way. Unfortunately most of them are. I have found the doctors who are younger and went to medical school on the West Coast are more open to natural methods (and laid back). They also seem to be more respectful, even if they don't agree. I knew a doctor like this. He definitely gives doctors a better name.

 

I completely agree with a lot of what you said. It's funny when secretaries, nurses, doctors, etc. say something because they are supposed to and don't really know why. And having to argue with someone who thinks they are intellectually superior makes it a lose-lose. I was in a hospital (non pregnancy related) and the doctor said "we know you don't have herpes, but just in case we are going to give you this medication for herpes". In what world does that make sense? They never did form a concrete decision as to what was wrong with me, by medical terms anyways. The hospital regulations and policies don't make sense usually. So much of it is just to protect their own rear ends and avoid lawsuits. It's unfortunate.

 

And then having to repeat myself because the doctor(s) didn't believe me; I waited until marriage, didn't drink, didn't smoke, didn't do drugs, blah blah blah. I even had my best friend there (who knows about as much as my hubby about me). One doctor said "she should leave, this will be personal". I said "it's fine if she was there". He kept asking and then wouldn't continue until I made her leave! Then asked "did I have sex with any other men?" I mean seriously, I already answered that? I was expecting something serious and personal. (I know that many people will lie to doctors, but come on.) The nurses were great though.

post #30 of 40

I won't be having my kiddoes there...I am a private birther, apparently, and with my last birth, even my midwife coming in during early labor made things stop for a bit, lol.  With my first HB, I just had a 4 and 2 yr old; they slept until 6 am.  I had my sis come get them.  They came in and said goodbye and even though I was in transition, I was able to converse just fine-even-laugh-with them before they left.  Their sis was born at 6:50 am. 

With my last and this one, we are in a really small studio and the thought of them there makes me anxious.  My mom is next door, and they spent the night there with my last HB.  I am envisioning something along those lines again. 

I labor with just my husband until the endish of transition and then at that point, it's not going to stop (for me) so I call the MW in and she gets everything ready. 

My births are around 5 hrs.

 

When I have some older kids and a larger house, I may re evaluate, but at this point, this works really well for us.

post #31 of 40
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by dannic View Post

I won't be having my kiddoes there...I am a private birther, apparently, and with my last birth, even my midwife coming in during early labor made things stop for a bit, lol.  With my first HB, I just had a 4 and 2 yr old; they slept until 6 am.  I had my sis come get them.  They came in and said goodbye and even though I was in transition, I was able to converse just fine-even-laugh-with them before they left.  Their sis was born at 6:50 am. 

With my last and this one, we are in a really small studio and the thought of them there makes me anxious.  My mom is next door, and they spent the night there with my last HB.  I am envisioning something along those lines again. 

I labor with just my husband until the endish of transition and then at that point, it's not going to stop (for me) so I call the MW in and she gets everything ready. 

My births are around 5 hrs.

 

When I have some older kids and a larger house, I may re evaluate, but at this point, this works really well for us.

 

That makes a lot of sense. I had my daughter at home in a studio basically too. A studio would probably make it difficult to avoid any distractions from the other kids. Thinking about this is making me realize my daughter loves being near me so much she would probably distract me a lot. Even when her dad comes home from work she is very possessive of me and wants to be near me always. I'll have to rethink having her present when I have my next pregnancy. 

 

You are very lucky to have your mom (who you trust) next door and willing to help. We aren't close in location to family and don't trust any of them to watch our daughter anyways. They love her, but some are frail and others don't respect our wishes around her.

 

Congrats on your pregnancy and I hope your birth goes well. :)

post #32 of 40

Thanks!  I really sort of internalize during labor and I don't like distractions, lol...I just really want to FOCUS.  So, yeah, for me it works best to be in a dark quiet place with just dh (and then later the mw). 

 

I am really blessed to be on great terms with my parents; I know not everyone has a place of trust as I do.

post #33 of 40

I'm 11 weeks pregnant and I'm planning a HBA2C because frankly, my last birthing experience was horrendus.  My last birth was supposed to be a hospital VBAC, I got to the hospital at 6 cm and as I was getting ready to get into the shower I had two high blood pressure readings (thats all two, the rest were normal) and the staff went nuts and I was suddenly deemed pre eclamptic and I had nurses trying to convince me that I had a headache and was seeing spots.  They wouldn't let me out of bed and as my labor progressed I could feel my daugther and my uterus trying to fight gravity. At some point I was lingering at 8cm and the OB on call came in and told me that if I didn't dilate within a half and hour that I was going back for a csection.  The half hour passed and he told me it was time to go back and I begged and pleaded with him to let me get an epidural to take the edge off and come back and check me later since baby's heart was fine, and I was fine.  He told me know, I lost my will to fight, and the next thing I know anesthesia is in the room taking 45 minutes to take one tube of blood out of me to see if I could tolerate anesthesia. As the OB, who wasn't even my provider, finished sewing me up, he leaned over the curtain and said "No more VBACs for you!".

 

The recovery from that was just as bad, what happened to me didn't hit me until I was discharged and all I did at home was cry.  I seriously thought about stopping at two children because I didn't want to have to go through another csection.  It took me a year to come to terms with what happened, and thats when I started researching homebirth because I knew that there was no way I could walk into a doctors office and get the go ahed to vbac after two sections.  My ICAN chapter hosted a homebirth panel with local midwives and as they talked about HBAC and that they have had moms who have been successful after more than one csection I became very hopeful and decided that it was my option.

post #34 of 40

Before getting married I was at a couple of births. One a home birth and the other a hospital birth. Watching the home birth sold me. My first was born in a hospital though because of where we were living. My last 4 were born at home. 3 of them waterbirths. The one that wasn't, was because baby came before the water could get warm. I LOVED my homebirths. 2 of my babies were born in the middle of the night so the other kids just woke up to a new baby.

post #35 of 40
  • Did you grow up expecting a home birth (parents were hippies, you were born at home, etc...)? No my family and my hubby's family are all very medically minded and would never have 
  • thought to birth at home. I know they don't agree with it but, they don't have to. ;)
  • Did you have a bad experience with a previous birth at a hospital (complications, unwanted epideral, unwanted c-section, staff didn't follow your wishes, etc...)? I had an 'OK' experience in a birth center with a MW who had a high transfer rate, wanted me induced right at 40 weeks had I not given birth, and basically refused to even see my when I had the risk of a "threatened miscarriage" with my second child.
  • Did you do research to lead to this decision? I thought if I had already birthed with a MW in a birth center. Why not home? It came very naturally to us. We just researched questions to ask
  • and I posted on Mothering asking for MW recommendations in my area.
  • Did a family member or friend recommend it? Nope, sure didn't, lol.
  • Now we're planning our 2nd homebirth with our 3rd child. People still ask if this child will be  born at a hospital this time.orngtongue.gif We say no. At home. Again. Any other children we have will all be born at home. 
  •  
post #36 of 40

I'm a little late to reply to your thread, but if you're still interested in answers here's why I'm picking a homebirth.

 

This is my first pregnancy and I'm due in january.

 

I was first exposed to homebirth when we lived in the UK six years ago and some friends had a homebirth. It was a very new idea to us at the time, but interesting to hear from them about why they chose it and their experience, which was a very positive one. Homebirth is more common in the UK than in the US, so it was interesting to learn about a developed country with an excellent health care system that promoted homebirth.

 

A few years later I was in nursing school and did my clinicals for my maternity nursing course. I was able to observe both a vaginal delivery from start to finish (I got very lucky with a mom who delivered in 8 hours!) and a c-section, as well as the post-partum and nursery care at a local hospital with a pretty average reputation. I found myself horrified by the experience on so many levels and knew immediately that that was not how I wanted to give birth! Among other things I disliked the number of unnecessary procedures (AROM and pitocin more or less because staff were bored/impatient), the number of staff in the room (a constant parade of nurses, doctors and students), the lack of emotional support for the women (most of the attention was given to the equipment and her vagina), lack of movement, laboring on her back or in stirrups the whole time, lack of support for natural pain relieving techniques (it seemed easier for staff just to give her an epidural so they could be free to leave the room until she was ready to push), and the separation of baby from mother for procedures that could have waited (cleaning, eye treatment and vit K shot). Around the same time a friend recommended 'The Business of Being Born' and I found myself agreeing with it 100%. It really resonated with what I had seen on my clinicals and learned about 'typical' pregnancy care and delivery in the US. I continued reading and doing research about home birth and about maternity care and delivery options in the US. At that point I knew that when I did get pregnant I would opt for either a birthing center or home birth provided my pregnancy was low-risk and healthy. Since I conveniently worked a pediatric office part time I started asking the mothers who came in who had had a homebirth about their experience and about their midwives so that was how I was referred to my current midwife. In the end the only birthing center with a good reputation was too far for us to travel to so we went for homebirth.

 

I've been pleasantly surprised that DH, our parents and even our grandparents have been on board with our decision. My mother was initially wary because she's convinced she would have died had she given birth at home due to my large size (10 lbs and forceps delivery after my shoulders got stuck) and my brother's (12 lb c-section due to large size on ultrasound), but she's come around too.

 

Mostly I'm just very grateful that I had the chance to see a typical hospital birth and learn about my options before becoming pregnant, otherwise I think like many women I would just have gone for a hospital birth by default with my first, had a horrible experience and learned my lesson that that way. 

post #37 of 40

This is a friendly reminder to post on topic. I removed a post that was not relevant to the topic of "Why did you choose a homebirth?"   thumb.gif

post #38 of 40
Quote:
Originally Posted by EcoConsciousMom View Post

 

For the moms who have multiple children and are delivering at home, are you planning on having your other children present at the birth? I know it depends on their ages and whether they are interested in it or not. I'm just curious if it's pretty common. I keep thinking I will have my daughter there for her sibling(s) birth(s). If you did, how did it go?

We had our 10 year old at the birth of her sibling. I went into labor right around 8pm (her bedtime) so we ended up not really having her at the labor. We woke her up during crowing but she was kind of freaked out and went downstairs with her aunt. She wanted to come for the birth and was there but, again, kind of freaked out. It wasn't quite the empowering experience I had hoped for her but I'm glad she was there. She did do the newborn exam with the MW and that was really, really sweet. Also, I ended up caring for my 10 year old a little that night - got up and checked on her and kissed her good night. I don't think that was necessary but it felt right and good to be able to give her that tiny bit of attention that first night with the LO. So...long story short - the birth wasn't all that moving for my DC but I loved having her home for such a huge change for the family. 

post #39 of 40

My mother birthed four kids med-free (including a set of twins) in the hospital, and always spoke of it as such an amazing experience that I always planned on natural births.  My first two were highly managed hospital births, so this time I realized I HAD to get out of the hospital setting to have the birth experience I want.  I labor very quickly and mostly painlessly so, with this being my third child, I don't even know if I could make it to a hospital or birth center in time.  

 

Fortunately, I've found a homebirth midwife who is willing to co-manage care with a perinatologist since I've had preterm labor with my previous two pregnancies.   I'm a VBAC too (second daughter was breech), and literally one OB in our area will "allow" them without all the scare tactics and pressure irked.gif  

post #40 of 40

My mom was a bit of a hypochondriac, so I am a bit to the other extreme, not wanting any medical interventions w/o a doggone good reason.

For my 1st, I wanted to stay home, but didn't  know about midwives & would have had it UC if I had ANY support from anyone, but didn't, so I reluctantly headed for  the hosp. when my water broke, with painless ctx, q 5 mins. They started pit, (because "painless" can't be real labor!) & 3 excruciating hrs later I was ready to deliver, doc getting ready to do epis. I said I didn't want one, he said it was necessary, I got one. Then my precious son was taken to the nursery, & every time I asked them to bring him they had an excuse why I had to wait "just a little longer"... for 24 whole hrs! Then they had the audacity to bill me for doing things I didn't want  them to do! I resolved to figure out how to do it  myself, cause I was not about to go through that (the hospital experience, not the birth!) again. I started reading old ob texts, & went to nursing school, where I found out midwives existed!

By the time I was pregnant for the 2nd time, there was no question it WAS going to be a homebirth! Still no midwives near me, so it was UC, all 70 mins of labor! I was glad I had planned to UC cause that's what it would have been, like it or not since we lived way out in the country. So after that, there was no question, the rest had to be homebirths.

My 3rd was also a 90 min. UC, even my dh missed that one. So after that, I prayed for & visualized a 4-6 hr labor, surrounded by friends & family. You may think I'm crazy, but such fast births are hectic, not relaxing, in no way the picture of a nice calm, romantic homebirth one would like to see.

My 4th. was 4 hrs, my whole family was there plus some good friends (including my ob, who I  was working for in his homebirth practice at  the time.) It was a great birth. I really appreciated the help I had this time, and the more gradual onset of ctx, it really was much more relaxing! Not having to worry about being my own midwife helped too.

#5 started w PROM, at 36 wks. I stayed home for a while (all day!) but when I started running a fever I decided to transport. Another hospital birth:(. I dreaded it so much I reversed from 5 cms at home to 3 on arrival! Had her w a spinal (for reasons beyond the scope of this post!), which was really weird! It is such a let down not to feel the thrill of the head coming out, why would anyone want to miss that ecstatic feeling?! By this time I had met other midwives & we started doing births together. (before this, when ppl would ask me to help them, I would tell them I was not a midwife, but had read some books & had some homebirths myself & would be glad to help them to the best of my ability)

Well then it was time for # 6, my water broke 1st, I had several hours before ctx started, but called the midwives anyway, since I had such fast births in the past. They arrived, ctx started & 90 mins later he was born.

# 7 started the same way, with water broken & midwives here, we waited, & waited, & waited, labor started v-e-r-y s-l-o-w-l-y, a 1st for me. 20 hrs later she was born in my bathtub. The 1st waterbirth for me and my midwives.

So, why did I choose homebirth? I'm just doin' what comes naturally. Can't fathom why anybody would prefer any other way.

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