Am I really breastfeeding?

[Grnsmoothiemom]

I still "nurse" my 5 yr old at bedtime. She only nurses for a few minutes and only one side. I sometimes wonder if I'm just a human pacifier. Is she actually getting any milk? Does it really matter?

[PatioGardener]

Originally Posted by Grnsmoothiemom 

Does it really matter?

 ^This.

Once the newborn craziness settled down, I didn't think of it as "breastfeeding" anymore, - we "nursed". It was (and still is) about so much more than just the milk.

With an older nursling, I fee it is nursing if there is milk there or not. We are meeting a need our child has - a need that dissipates with time.

Congratulations for nursing your 5 year old!

[Grnsmoothiemom]

I can't thank you enough for your post. I only nursed my first for a year so it's been a long amazing journey. I have felt so alone though and it's been difficult not having someone to talk to about it. I just knew that I wanted my daughter to be the one to choose her time to end the nursing. Your kind words have really touched me.

[kythe]

My daughter nursed for the last time when she was 6, but she hadn't actually "breastfed" for years.  I think my milk dried up when she was around 3-4 because she was nursing infrequently by then, maybe every few days.  That turned into a few times a month, then every few weeks.  A full year went by from the time she turned 5 until the last time she "nursed" at age 6.  It was entirely for comfort, and that's okay.  Whatever works. 

The end result is a currently 12-year old kid who is well adjusted, makes friends easily, and does well in school.  If she continues to be successful in life, I'm not going to worry too much about when was the last time I was actually making milk.  It doesn't matter.

[Katie T]

You are very much still nursing. I have no milk anymore and my DD2 still nurses several times a day and at night/in the night. I do feel like a human pacifier but it is so important to her I can't just stop because I want to. If I tell her know she cries for it. : (

IMO any form of nursing is important milk or no milk. We may not be nourishing they bodies anymore but we are nourishing their mental and emotional health. : )

[Grnsmoothiemom]

I have not had anyone to talk to about extended nursing. I do not know anyone who has done so. And no one I know knows anyone who has. I am just speachless! I am so moved by your replies. I had never thought about nursing (dry). I've never heard of it and I just assumed that my daughter would quit if my milk dried up.

Question: what does DD mean? Everybody uses acronyms that I don't know.

[Grnsmoothiemom]

Again, I am amazed. I had never considered that I was nourishing my daughter's emotional & mental health. I feel so stupid that it just ever ocurred to me! I'm greatful for your reply and for showing me different ways to think about this. Many family members have asked when I was going to stop and I have always responded with, when she is ready. I have had to defend my decision for so long, most people don't even know. It is such a relief to actually have other moms to talk to about this! I'm even feeling more understanding and loving towards my daughter, if that's possible!

What is IMO?

[EcoConsciousMom]

Originally Posted by Grnsmoothiemom 

I have not had anyone to talk to about extended nursing. I do not know anyone who has done so. And no one I know knows anyone who has. I am just speachless! I am so moved by your replies. I had never thought about nursing (dry). I've never heard of it and I just assumed that my daughter would quit if my milk dried up.
Question: what does DD mean? Everybody uses acronyms that I don't know.

I'm pretty sure DD means "darling daughter" or something similar (here it means "dear daughter"). I'm new too and the acronyms can be difficult to translate sometimes. I found this link that takes you to all the abbreviations. There are so many, it's crazy!

http://www.mothering.com/community/t/522590/abbreviations-acronyms-emoticons

[Katie T]

I too have had to defend extended nursing and now that DD is over 4yrs most people in my life don't know she still nurses. Not that I hide it but if she is busy she doesn't ask for it. 

I am glad that you have had the courage to stand up for what you believe in. It can be hard at times because some people just don't get it in the end it is your choice and your child will thank you for it. 

[lilitchka]

I am always surprised by the epression"human pacifier".

aren't packifier ment to replace or mimic the nipple. weren't they invented so we don't have to be with our kids when they need us?

so if they are invented to be like our nipples, how can we use an expression that says we are like them? of course we are human pacifiers.....that's what nipples are for. the rubbery kind are dummies.


so yes, being a mother is being a pacifier, isn't that exactly what we want?
Edited by lilitchka - 9/5/12 at 4:22am

[Katie T]

This made me chuckle, but well put!

[itsybistyspider]

love this- thanks for this thread. 

[Carlyle]

You are not alone!  There is a whole forum here dedicated to moms like you who want to let their kids wean when they're ready.  Check it out here: http://www.mothering.com/community/f/305/child-led-weaning    My older daughter (who will be SIX in a month and a half) just decided she wanted to be done nursing.  And it's still a bit of a challenge for her (she's asked for my support in making the transition).  So you're not alone.  Best of luck to you!

[stormborn]

You might still have milk at that age; my youngest is 4.5 and even though it doesn't feel like it to me (like you do with a young baby) dd has showed me a mouthful to prove it!