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Has anyone thrown away a bad parenting book?

post #1 of 26
Thread Starter 
When my son was just a baby, my mother gave me a parenting book that my sister had given her to give to me. My son had accidentally bitten me the previous evening, and my mother looked up biting in the book, and it said to bite the child. My mother and I argued about the advise, with me saying that even if I agreed with the advise, it made sense to do it hours later. She wouldn't drop the subject (or let me eat my breakfast), so I threw the book away.

I also threw away a book that claimed you could potty train a toddler in 24 hours.

Anyone else given a parenting book that went against your parenting beliefs and tossed it?
post #2 of 26

Yep!  Just about any Ezzo I meet. :)

post #3 of 26

Every parenting book I've read, I have taken something positive away from it - even if it's just "I'll never do that to my child!"  I loved parenting with love and logic generally but I do not like the idea of locking a child in their room and there is no way in hell I'd give away a family pet because a child wasn't caring for it properly (feeding, walking, etc).

 

However, when our son was a baby, my husband had heard about this book "I'm okay, you're a brat" and even won a copy.  OMG!  My husband, who has the most twisted sense of humor threw the book across the room in disgust.  He told me that he wasn't going to allow me to read it because it was horrible and I just picked it up and threw it in the recycling (he wouldn't even let me donate it - said it didn't deserve to be published in the first place!).

post #4 of 26

Somehow throwing books away seems wrong to me, but there are some that I would love to keep away from potential readers. My solution so far, was to keep them for research purposes.

 

Not sure yet, what I'll do, when I don't need them anymore. Maybe I'll write warnings next to passages I find particularly troublesome and let them circulate like that. 2whistle.gif

post #5 of 26

Why not donate the books?

 

I realize we here at Mothering will find some parenting advice completely horrible, but it might be right up another mother's alley.  I've yet to read the parenting book with advice so bad it was tantamount to abuse and unfit for public circulation.

Certainly some would disagree with me on that point, however, if you don't want to throw the books away, and you don't want mounds of useless clutter, donation seems like a nice option.

 

smile.gif
 

post #6 of 26
Thread Starter 
Both books I threw away, I threw away to end the ongoing, repetitive insistence that I had to do what the book said. In both cases, I was not able to get to eating because of the discussion. For example, my mother kept putting the book over my bowl, so I couldn't eat until I bit my 7 montj old son! Taking the book and setting the book aside did not work. She kept picking it up and putting it over my bowl. My husband was no help, so I finally threw it away.

The second one was similar, only with my sister-in-law who kept reading it to my toddler son (can't remember how old). Again, the only way to stop her so I could finish making dinner (husband no help) was to throw away the book.

Also, if I disagree with the parenting (like the biting, or hitting) I would not want to be responsible for someone else reading that book and following the advise. Better to throw it away.
post #7 of 26

I would not pass on a book with advice I consider abusive.  They compost well.  Or make good kindling.  Papier-mâché craft projects.

post #8 of 26

I typically buy babywise books at yard sales and consignment shops when I see them. They make for great kindling for my wood stove :) When I was pregnant with my first, I got passed down a bunch of "Girlfriends Guide to..." books. I found them to be awful, but not bad enough to throw away.

post #9 of 26

I love the composting bad book idea! I have a hard time parting with in print books and this will ease the guilt I feel when I throw somethig away

post #10 of 26

I threw away To Train Up a Child.  Thoroughly.  There's no way I could even give that one away in good conscience.
 

post #11 of 26
Quote:
I've yet to read the parenting book with advice so bad it was tantamount to abuse and unfit for public circulation.

 

I have. The Pearls' parenting books are so bad that children have died at the hands of parents who used their book as a guide.

post #12 of 26

I received Babywise as a gift while pregnant with my first, and couldn't bear to donate it, so I ripped out pages and threw it in the recycling bin.  I did the same with "12 Hours of Sleep by 12 Weeks Old" and "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer".  I couldn't in good conscience give those to anyone else.

post #13 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by phathui5 View Post

 

I have. The Pearls' parenting books are so bad that children have died at the hands of parents who used their book as a guide.

Oh my goodness - I had no idea!  I actually had considered buying this, based on how good behavior they claim to get from their children!

 

We tried babywise with our first, and baby and I both did a lot of crying...  Major guilt issues, won't go down that road again.  It just kills me that people can present themselves as experts and totally mislead 'innocent' new parents. :(

post #14 of 26

Just wanted to add- I took the kids thrift store shopping on Friday. There was a copy of Babywise there for a quarter, so I bought it to throw it away :)

post #15 of 26
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by phathui5 View Post

Just wanted to add- I took the kids thrift store shopping on Friday. There was a copy of Babywise there for a quarter, so I bought it to throw it away smile.gif

joy.gif
That deserves a "Yea!!".
post #16 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by jocelyndale View Post

I would not pass on a book with advice I consider abusive.  They compost well.  Or make good kindling.  Papier-mâché craft projects.

 

Yep.  Abusive or potentially emotionally harmful.

 

I was raised that is was partically a sin to destroy a book but when pregnant as well as after DS was born, I bought and was given a few that were so "wrong" that I threw them in the trash with no guilt at all. 

post #17 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by SweetMamaKaty View Post

Oh my goodness - I had no idea!  I actually had considered buying this, based on how good behavior they claim to get from their children!

 

We tried babywise with our first, and baby and I both did a lot of crying...  Major guilt issues, won't go down that road again.  It just kills me that people can present themselves as experts and totally mislead 'innocent' new parents. :(

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/07/us/deaths-put-focus-on-pastors-advocacy-of-spanking.html?pagewanted=all  The article is from last fall, but gives you an idea of the Pearl system.

post #18 of 26

Makes me ill that anyone considers them to be parenting experts.  Monsters yes, parents no.

post #19 of 26
The Baby Whisperer!!!!greensad.gif
post #20 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by callahansmama View Post

The Baby Whisperer!!!!greensad.gif



I've heard The Baby Whisperer described as bad before.  Can someone tell me why?  I'm not doubting y'all, just curious,...

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