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Weekly chat - August 27 - September 2 - Page 2

post #21 of 163
Originally Posted by ascher21 View Post

Any other FTM's having that holy-crap-my-life-is-about-to-totally-change feeling? I have three weeks left! In three weeks my whole life as I know it is going to be totally different. I wish I had some knowledge of what it will look like or feel like, this new phase of my life. It's a bit frightening, in a way, I won't lie. I don't have the confidence of knowing what motherhood is like already.


This is me, to the T. I'm a bit apprehensive, for sure. I'm only 36 weeks (due at the end of the month, so I'm a little dragger...haha), but these feeling are coming already. It's completely unreal. 


As for BH or ANY indication emotional or physical of labor coming ANY time soon... nothing on my end. I have a feeling I'm going to be either on EDD or later, but most likely not early. I'm not feeling any "he may come soon!" feeling at all... but maybe that's because I'm a FTM? Who knows. Maybe I'm just in denial. Haha. (: 

post #22 of 163
I think my advice to you FTMs would, among other things: don't be surprised if baby cooks 41ish weeks or even more...letting baby decide when its time sets your body up to be really really ready. don't be surprised if, once you get over the birth high, if you feel a little trapped/"why can't I just get a shower in"/"why can't I set you down"/"why can't I at least clean one dish". You do get used to the overwhelmingness but I think it helps for a mom to know that these less than rosey feelings are just part of the experience. DO know where to find help for bfeeding troubles and PPD type issues if you need them. Don't hessistate to go to that help...a fairly large payment to a good LC is well worth the money, even if the only thing she does is say "yep, that is what its suppposed to be like". Emotionally priceless in my experience.
post #23 of 163

I think that as a FTM the biggest thing for me was to try to get out of the house at least once a day (after the initial week or so of staying in).  Going to breastfeeding support groups, mommy groups etc to meet people in similar situations was priceless.  While being a mommy is surreal, it is overwhelming and life changing, so getting out and interacting if you can really does help!

post #24 of 163

I wish I would have slept when baby slept as a FTM. You will just be a much happier person if you do that.

post #25 of 163
Originally Posted by MamanFrancaise View Post

I wish I would have slept when baby slept as a FTM. You will just be a much happier person if you do that.

How do you manage that? It takes me forever to fall asleep when it is dark out, so I found it impossible to do during the day when my body was accustomed to being up and doing stuff. Even with so, so, so little sleep, I would only be able to attempt to sleep while baby slept from about 8p-8a. I suppose that is better than nothing, but I'm going to focus on getting as much rest as I can the first two weeks, this third time around.
post #26 of 163
Originally Posted by MamanFrancaise View Post

I wish I would have slept when baby slept as a FTM. You will just be a much happier person if you do that.



omg! when i think about the amount of time i spent poking at my LO and waking her up when she was absolutely fine because i was scared she was too sleepy as a newborn instead of just sleeping i wanna go back and slap myself lol, idk what im going to do being up all night this time and then not being able to sleep during the day when baby does during the day because i have a three year old too...AHHH

post #27 of 163

When you nurse your body releases a hormone that makes you sleepy, I SWEAR!  I would fall asleep sitting up almost EVERY time I nursed the boy.

If you can't sleep, then rest.

post #28 of 163

I always feel like I'm so far behind the conversation with these weekly chats that I just end up lurking!


Guess I'd better chime in since I may not be pregnant for all that much longer. I'm 39+3 today and finally caught another big bout of nesting energy tonight. I've pretty much slept all day for what feels like a week! I'm sure it was really only a few days, but it felt like forever. DH has been working from 7am to midnight this week and his one day "off" on Sunday he was gone most of the day trying to get caught up. Not really sure what's going to happen come birthing time. I'm desperately hoping that Hank will come this weekend because the timing would be so perfect since I think DH might actually have two days off in a row. 


I had some pretty intense cramping about two days ago and thought maybe that was it. It was kind of weird though because I was having contractions, but they weren't distinct from the continuous cramping so I wasn't sure when they began and when they ended. It went on for a few hours. *shrug* Then I had the same kind of thing the next night. I also had some really crazy mood swings! I've been drinking lots of RRL tea and taking evening primrose oil and DTD with DH whenever I can catch him. We'll see, I guess.



I definitely get those moments every once in a while of terror about how much my life will change very soon. Mostly I'm just taking it in stride and feeling totally competent but every once in a while it hits me! Hope everyone has a wonderful week.

post #29 of 163

My home visit with the midwife is on Wed.  I've been cleaning and scrubbing (kinda)  I've had DH do the bathroom, that way he can do the super deep-cleaning with whatever he sees fit (pine-sol and bleach) and he can get into the corners that I can't.  DS scrubbed some cupboards (you know the ones you use your feet to nudge shut?) and some walls -he was very excited about that.

The main rooms, kitchen, living, and bathroom are almost finished.  I just need to get the hallway passable and all is good.  I would like to be able to close the door to the bedroom and computer/storage/sewing room -'cause there ain't no WAY that room is getting clean/tidy anytime soon.


Just to make it clear, this is NOT nesting.  I just need it company-clean.  lol


Which, included buying a dog brush attachment for my dyson and brushing the dog.  -granted I got it from a friend who doesn't have a dog anymore-

Let me tell you, that attachment is WAY cool!


I think I need to dye some yarn tomorrow.  That sounds like fun.  Then after this project (i'm making a cute white newsboy hat for a friend's soon-to-be baby) I'll either make new longies or put the dragon design on the super cool dragon longies.  


Yes, it is 4am and I'm rambling.  I should go to bed.


oh wait!  I was going to post a 36week belly shot.  I'm off to do that.  ttyl

post #30 of 163

I'm 37 weeks today! Yay!


Oh, and thanks for all the tips. I will use them all!

post #31 of 163
Originally Posted by Faliciagayle View Post

I've never had BH cntx with any pregnancy - like everything else it depends on the woman :)  And FWIW I never had slow labors (yikes!)


I can't believe DD starts kindergarten NEXT WEEK.  Crazy!  And then we're full on into the High Holiday season.  This baby's EDD is on Rosh HaShanah but I have a feeling baby will come during Sukkot (beginning of Oct).


Just took DD to meet one of the girls in her kindergarten class... next up, the pool.

Yeah, aim for later. My birthday is around the High Holidays and you end up with a heck of a Torah portion. For years after it would fall on Rosh Hashanah and they'd want me to read Torah during service. Um, no way! Talk about pressure!

post #32 of 163

I have a midwife visit today.  I had a headache all day yesterday into the early morning hours of today, but it seems to have subsided.  I was awake for about 3 hours in the middle of the night last night, my first case of insomnia since the first trimester.  Today it is rainy and that combined with lack of sleep I am even more tired than yesterday! 


I had an awful dream last night...For some reason we were at a friends house and they were burning piles of coal.  Then they decided to put DD in it, so she was on fire and I kept telling her to "STOP, DROP and ROLL" but they all kept saying that with a coal fire that doesn't work.  Eventually the fire smoldered out and she was perfectly fine, but that was a messed up dream!

post #33 of 163

Well, I've been back and forth about a midwife/my midwife the whole time. Through a few quirks of fate, I connected with someone new this weekend and really connected. I'm finally comfortable with my midwife and would actually prefer she be there. What a relief! Unfortunately she lives 3 hours away. [sigh]


SO and I took the excuse of meeting her (and the fact that the 3 big ones were out of town with their father) for a weekend in the mountains, where she lives. She helped us get an awesome deal on a cabin with a hot tub (much needed since my feet were swollen before the 3 hour drive). We met with her, did a free-for-all grocery run, and went and "babymooned" at the cabin for the night. The midwife came and spent the next afternoon at the cabin with us and we signed paperwork, did a full blown prenatal, etc. I feel really comfortable with her, which is a nice change. It tuns out that my business partner and good friend has been a friend of hers for 12 years. Small world, the birth community.


So, we ended up realizing that the terrible alignment we'd driven there on had also ruined a tire. It was clear that we needed a new tire and an alignment before we'd make it home. But at 4:30pm on a Sunday in a small southern mountain town, there turned out to be little we could do about it. We scouted around for a hotel room and ended up at the La Quinta Inn in their honeymoon suite. The girl at the desk helped us out b/c they were pretty empty and she could see I had really swollen feet, etc. The room had a heart shaped jacuzzi in it! It was unreal. SO and I laughed and had a ball. Let me see if I can load a pic... Alexandria's middle name will be Cridhe, which means heart in Scot's Gaelic. We were so hoping I'd end up giving birth while we were there! I said that if I'd not had her by 41 weeks, we'd come back and do castor oil at the La Quinta. lol


Anyway, since we were stuck there, our new midwife had dinner with us and came back to the room to check my cervix. The baby is engaged, but bounces up and down from really low to barely in there, as well as flips anterior to posterior constantly. Ample fluid and a "generous" pelvis. Is it just me or does that not sound as flattering as it probably should?


The strange thing is my cervix, which as never been even remotely favorable before 41 weeks. She said it was "fascinating". lol It's anterior, but not very effaced. The first half of it is super soft and 3-4cm, but then, about halfway in, it gets really hard (she called it "crunchy") and so tight it was barely a finger's width. She finally looked up and said, "Oh! Have you been having a lot of sex?" Well, we had been babymooning... Anyway, it looks like I might have a "2 part" cervix. That would explain a pattern of 24 hours of slow, gentle, "sort of" labor followed by a few hours of intense active labor.


I did have bloody show yesterday, and tons of mucus all weekend, and I've had a lot of BH, which I never have before. So, it looks like this one might not go 42 weeks like the rest, since I'm just 39 weeks today. She was feeling about 7lbs on Sat. [shrug] If I had no experience with labor, I'd think I was in it a lot. I go through phases of a lot of contractions, but I can count on one hand the number that have felt "real". I'm glad I know that I'm just not going to worry about it unless/until it's active labor. It helps that I don't have to decide about going anywhere since I'm having a homebirth and we are prepared for the midwife not making it.


If you're still reading, you rock! My youngest had his first day of K today and I'm way too hormonal for all that, so I'm rambling and staying distracted. This weekend wore me out and -though I have lots to do, esp if the baby is coming sooner rather than later- I'm just not ready to get to the housework yet. I miss my baby! He's actually very helpful with housework.

post #34 of 163

I had my midwife appointment and everything looks good.  She is estimating that baby is about 6lbs now (I am 38 +5 today).  My BP is a little higher than my normal 112/82, she said if it goes above 90 on the bottom number they would just do some blood work, but she is not concerned.  Just told me to eat some cucumbers because they are in season and help with BP.  :)

post #35 of 163

Yeeska, I'm so glad you found a care provider that you really like - makes such a huge difference doesn't it?!  Your babymoon sounds amazing, the heart-shaped tub hysterical.

Katt, I vote super cool dragon longies :)


Motomom, was so happy to see an update from you, you're so close now! sending birthing vibes for this weekend!


AFM, 38 weeks tomorrow! I can't really believe that.  Had my MW appt today, my next appt is on my due date!! Last appt (36w) we had that cervical check that was 2-3cm & 75% effaced, and I tripped on that for a couple days, then really came to a good place about it.  I'm ready for the baby, but in no rush . . . and really feel that way now that I've calmed down. It did take a couple days of going through every possible emotion first ;)  So she asked if I wanted to check this week (no pressure) and I said - Sure! I'm now 3-4cm dilated, super soft, and 100% effaced, head is engaged and not moving at all. So it's nice to be progressing but nobody knows when this kid is coming, it could be a while yet. She said that usually there's some amniotic fluid between the head and the bladder, but that our boy was wearing my bladder super tight "like a swimcap" hahaha.  DH and I laughed all the way home about how much he would HATE to hear about that when he's ten.


I'm getting kind of tired of the physical toll, ie achy hips, stabby inner thigh pain, constant (seriously up to like 15-20 trips/day) pee breaks, midnight contractions, etc but I'm fully prepared to go to 42 weeks if our boy needs the time - even that's less than a month away!  That's what I say now after a nap and knowing that we're having great leftovers for dinner (so there's no need to cook tonight) - ask me again in a few days when I'm bogged down and overwhelmed! haha. 

It seems that everyone else on here is cleaning, and we're organized, but I just don't feel like deep cleaning! I am wishing that we lived somewhere where labor was cheaper and we could afford to have someone just come in and do it for me. 


One last thing, for those fetal positioning junkies like myself :)  LO has been LOA for at least 6-8 weeks now, and went to OA yesterday for the day (first time that I've been aware of it, and it was so obvious, my belly was very narrow looking down and sticking out far, movement was minimal and felt on both 'edges' of my belly) . . . today when we went to the MW I mentioned that, and that he was moving a lot last night and I couldn't tell what position he was in now . . . it was strange because his HB on the fetoscope (the wooden thing, is that the name?) was strongest on the bottom right, but she couldn't distinguish where his feet were or even definitively where his back was.  He was totally inactive the whole time so we couldn't get any kicking clues.  Now later today I'm still not feeling much (enough that I'm not scared, but nothing good enough to give clues) but wondering: Why would he go ROA (or something else) so late in the game? and how is he doing this turning if his head is engaged and not ballotable?  Would I know if he went posterior? 

post #36 of 163

Reassuring news.. :) Had this week's mw appointment today, and while my first BP reading was even higher than last week, my mw was good enough (and perceptive enough of my nerves) to not tell me that. We went on to do a reading lying on my left side and another sitting up, and those were both much better. Final reading was ~5 points lower systolic, 10 diastolic. I'm sure I'll continue to be on edge about it in the next few weeks when we go to do the readings, but (although obviously we'll continue to monitor) mw says she is not worried anymore. She said as soon as she saw me she could tell the swelling was much better. That, combined with the fact that I've never spilled even trace amounts of protein, point to the elevated BP being physiological (and as such responsive to changes in diet, etc.) rather than pathological. Huge relief. So- a few more weeks of being extra vigilant it is. :)


Ava's Mama and Yeeska, happy to hear the positive updates from both of you!


Miranda, totally with you and katt on the not being into cleaning thing! (Aaaand on the getting tired of the physical demands. Urgh.) My little person has been ROA for a couple of months now and that's where we get her heart tones right away, bottom right. I'm pretty sure she's gone LOA a couple of times (a lot of baby on the left side all of a sudden) but only for brief amounts of time- based on that I wouldn't be surprised if yours were back to LOA within a day (of course, I am far from being an expert so many grains of salt, etc.). It would seem like if he went posterior you'd get a lot more movement up front, right?

post #37 of 163

Had my last midwife appointment before my due date today. Measuring 39. Midwife thinks he's a 9 pounder. 


While I was there, I had a definite contraction in the waiting room and another in the exam room then another on the way home. My midwife told me if I have any more to get the pool ready to go. Why? I don't feel like this is it. I don't think he wants to come out. And my daughter is having a sleep over tonight so of course, it's just not convenient. LOL


I also made a bunch of plans for this weekend so that for sure the baby would come. LOL

post #38 of 163
My baby has been LOA since 30 weeks and just switched to ROA 3 days ago. I'm also confused by this sudden change and don't understand why? I would have liked her to stay on the left side as that is supposed to be optimal position for starting labor. I had a direct OP baby last time and am very worried about a recurrence. I can't get this one to go back to the left no matter what in the last few days.
post #39 of 163

My midwife home visit is today! I don't know why but that just gets me excited - although I confused poor DD when I told her Ms. D was coming since all she knows is we normally go there and Ms D is coming to help the baby come out so then I had to calm down an excited two year old telling me about how daddy was going to help her make the baby's birthday cake now - oops!


I've been having a few intense (stop, close my eyes, etc) contractions but only sporadically. I don't like to call them BH because with DD they helped me get to ~4cms way before baby was coming and I have to convince myself they are doing something or they would be annoying. At least this way I can convince myself that they more I have now, the less I have later - might not be totally true, but it helps mentally :-) Actually,  I don't want them to do anything, at least until next week. I just found out my neighbor who is watching DD and staying with me if I go into labor at night (DH works nights so it might take him a while to get home) will be gone this weekend. I don't expect a baby this weekend since I'll only be 38 weeks on Saturday it makes me a little bit nervous.


Also, I'm not sure I'm emotionally ready. Physically, I'll totally okay with the idea of not being pregnant anymore but even though I'm not a FTM, the idea of adding a new baby to the mix has started to be a little scary. You'd think after 8.5 months (well, actually more like 1.5 years if you count TTC time), I'd be fine but nope, freaking out a bit. Either DD and I have a great day and I worry about managing everything and screwing up our "perfect life" by being unable to handle two or we have a bad day and I wonder how I can possible deal with a terrible two toddler and a newborn. But then I see a picture of a baby or feel a kick and I'm okay again :-)

post #40 of 163
Yeeska-- so glad you found comfort in a provider! And fwiw, my midwife lives three hours away too. It worked out okay last time, so I'm just anticipating it will this time also.

Hyde-- so glad you got a better bp reading!! I have been thinking of you and hoping it was just a fluke!

Miranda-- your zenness about your birth/pregnancy is beautiful! I need more calm like that

Seems like there are a lot of midwife appointments today! I'll join those ranks as well! My midwife wanted me to come up tosee her at her office tomorrow, but dh simply cannot take off more time from work since he's been off for his ordination, then will take two weeks off for baby. And there's no way I'm driving three hours with four kids through rural Wyoming and Montana (most without cell phone service) with no other adult. So she's coming here.

This morning i went on an awesome, super brisk walk with a good friend (who is normally my running partner) and we covered 2.5 miles in no time! There were a few times I had to slow her up because of some contractions, but otherwise kept up great! My hips are feeling it though, especially if I sit for a while and get up fast!

We did travel 30 miles to the south to go to the HFS where I got some probiotics, EPO, and chocolate wink1.gif Right now I'm working on catching up on laundry... normally that's nit a cause for excitement, but it's thrilling right now because we finally called the plumber to work on the washing machine drain pipe. It wasn't draining properly (it would overflow twice every wash load and I had to always be on standby with the shop vac to suck up all the water or it would flood... then I would carry the huge canister full of heavy, dirty water to the toilet and dump it!). It's good to have proper drainage now.
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