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How careful are you about what your child reads? - Page 2

post #21 of 38

My kids are allowed to read anything pretty much anything they choose. They can handle that. Their interests run to the gorier parts of history and some science fiction that is somewhat dark (Ender's Game, Hunger Games), but nothing that has been overwhelming for them. 

 

They are not allowed to watch anything they choose, or play any video games they choose, because I think that is too overwhelming for them.

post #22 of 38

I've read the entire thread and thought about this quite a bit.  In my childhood, I had parents who were not paying attention most of the time, so I read whatever I could get to. But it was usually only reader's digest condensed books my parents had.  We went to the library and they let me get books from the adult side as long as they were ok with mom, which was usually no big deal as I was never choosing anything racy or "bad."  But I started reading at 3 and was always reading 3-5 levels above. So I was sometimes reading things that were somewhat too graphic in the scary/gory realm or occasionally in the sexy realm when my parents didn't know.  I never said a word of course, but I had nightmares over Jaws for years.   

 

As a parent, I'm a firm believer in controlling what your children see on TV/Movies and in the Popular Music they listen to, News and Radio stations and such.  Now don't get me wrong, I don't mean unnecessarily sheltering your children.  I'm talking about keeping things age-appropriate for talking points and discussions and such.  However, that's talking about things in general.  When talking about personal reading material and such, its going to be a child by child basis.  

 

With my oldest who has Asperger's, she is very academic and intellectual about everything.  So, I didn't need to regulate her so much.  My 8 yr old super ADHD-precocious boy is super impressionable and very hard to change his mind once he's got an idea in his mind.  So, I need to be on top of what he's reading.  Plus he tends to asks questions til the end of time, even when it is not appropriate for him to be told everything yet.  I'm not saying I'll always keep an eye on him.  Just for a while.  It all depends on maturity level and and social awareness.  I can't wait until I don't have to regulate at all and we can all have wonderful intelligent conversations about everything!

post #23 of 38

i just realised i DID kinda censure dd recently.

 

she wanted to read The Girl with the Dragon tattoo (of course because i was immersed in it). she asked me if she could read it, and i told her that while i dont want to stop her, really this book is not at all appropriate for her. she was ok with that.  

post #24 of 38
Thread Starter 

Yeah, the other day at the bookstore I directed Dd away from something that I thought was too much for her, but I can't remember what.  Funny how when you start paying attention sometimes you're doing things more than you thought...

 

I'm still not really pre-reading, though.

post #25 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by Juvysen View Post

Yeah, the other day at the bookstore I directed Dd away from something that I thought was too much for her, but I can't remember what.  Funny how when you start paying attention sometimes you're doing things more than you thought...

I'm still not really pre-reading, though.

How did you know the book well enough to think it was too much for her? Had you read it?
post #26 of 38
Thread Starter 

I wish I could remember.  I don't even remember what it was.
 

post #27 of 38

I just wanted to chime in that my parents, while VERY strict with movies (I was not allowed to rent R rated movies until 16/17), did not seem to care about books. I was reading Stephen King books by 10. Honestly it always made me think my mom was a bit dumb orngtongue.gif

 

I don't have any real input aside from my personal anecdote, but I probably won't limit what my DD reads. If she's very sensitive I may have to, but I won't really know until she's older.

post #28 of 38
I don't restrict any children or young adult books but I have said no to a few adult books ds wanted to read. I work in a library so I know the books he's interested in without having to read them first. Mostly they were books that had sex, I don't feel like that's something an 11 year old needs to read. My older dd(14) has never wanted to read anything from the adult section but I probably would also limite her on some of the books.
post #29 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by AngieB View Post

 My older dd(14) has never wanted to read anything from the adult section but I probably would also limite her on some of the books.

 

Just curious how you would do this? 

 

I've commented on some of the books my dc have wanted to read or have read. We discuss a lot of them. I just can't imagine how I could actually prevent a 14 year old teenager from reading whatever she wanted to read. My 16 y.o. has her own library card and her own cash for the bookstore and I don't accompany her to either place - and haven't for many years. 

post #30 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by DoulaGinny View Post

I've read the entire thread and thought about this quite a bit.  In my childhood, I had parents who were not paying attention most of the time, so I read whatever I could get to. But it was usually only reader's digest condensed books my parents had.  We went to the library and they let me get books from the adult side as long as they were ok with mom, which was usually no big deal as I was never choosing anything racy or "bad."  But I started reading at 3 and was always reading 3-5 levels above. So I was sometimes reading things that were somewhat too graphic in the scary/gory realm or occasionally in the sexy realm when my parents didn't know.  I never said a word of course, but I had nightmares over Jaws for years.   

As a parent, I'm a firm believer in controlling what your children see on TV/Movies and in the Popular Music they listen to, News and Radio stations and such.  Now don't get me wrong, I don't mean unnecessarily sheltering your children.  I'm talking about keeping things age-appropriate for talking points and discussions and such.  However, that's talking about things in general.  When talking about personal reading material and such, its going to be a child by child basis.  

With my oldest who has Asperger's, she is very academic and intellectual about everything.  So, I didn't need to regulate her so much.  My 8 yr old super ADHD-precocious boy is super impressionable and very hard to change his mind once he's got an idea in his mind.  So, I need to be on top of what he's reading.  Plus he tends to asks questions til the end of time, even when it is not appropriate for him to be told everything yet.  I'm not saying I'll always keep an eye on him.  Just for a while.  It all depends on maturity level and and social awareness.  I can't wait until I don't have to regulate at all and we can all have wonderful intelligent conversations about everything!

I agree there comes a time when regulating is not necessary. And it is wonderful.

I regulated when my child was young and morals, values and ethics were forming. Now is a different story.
post #31 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by ollyoxenfree View Post

Just curious how you would do this? 

I've commented on some of the books my dc have wanted to read or have read. We discuss a lot of them. I just can't imagine how I could actually prevent a 14 year old teenager from reading whatever she wanted to read. My 16 y.o. has her own library card and her own cash for the bookstore and I don't accompany her to either place - and haven't for many years. 

Since I work at the library usually she asked me to bring such and such book home for her or I'm with her when she is browsing for books. If she picked one I thought was not ok I would just tell her no, it wasn't an appropriate book for her to read. She did recently ask me about the 50 shades of grey books and wanted to know what they were and if I thought she would like them. I mostly just laughed and said no way was she reading them any time soon. I think the fact that I don't say no often helps because when I do turn down a book both kids know I have a good reason. For example ds wanted to read Game of Thrones because dh was reading it. Dh said no because there were some rape scenes in the book and ds doesn't need to be exposed to that. Another book was the second book in the Name of the wind series . Ds, dh and I had all read the first book and he was excited to read the second when It came out but the second book has a lot of sex and we felt it wasn't ok. Ds was a little disappointed but understood and never got mad to anything.
post #32 of 38

offtopic.gif

AngieB- I don't know how old your Ds is but if he likes fantasy you should look into the Wheel of Time series. Its a fantastic loonnggg series and is much milder than GoT.

post #33 of 38

I went through some of the boxes in the shed and found a few hand-me-down children's books from cousins. Found a children's book by Henning Mankell (he of the melancholy murder mysteries) about a little boy who is given a cat and falls in love. I thought it might be just right for DS who is currently very happy and loving with our cats (they've had a tempestuous relationship before) and skimmed a bit. turns out the cat gets lost and no, apparently doesn't turn up by the end of the book and the little boy learns how to cope by inventing a fantasy world where they can meet up again. Made even me sad. With DS, if he even kept on reading it after the cat got lost, it would result in uncontrollable nightly meltdowns. he just would not be able to cope.

So that one may have to be discarded even. I cannot imagine him being ready to read it in a timeframe that is commensurate with his reading level.

He has refused to keep on reading other, mostly gentle children's books at the slightest signs of tension. so I pre-check - what's the point of having yet more books started and not finished?

post #34 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by AngieB View Post


Since I work at the library usually she asked me to bring such and such book home for her or I'm with her when she is browsing for books. If she picked one I thought was not ok I would just tell her no, it wasn't an appropriate book for her to read. She did recently ask me about the 50 shades of grey books and wanted to know what they were and if I thought she would like them. I mostly just laughed and said no way was she reading them any time soon. I think the fact that I don't say no often helps because when I do turn down a book both kids know I have a good reason. For example ds wanted to read Game of Thrones because dh was reading it. Dh said no because there were some rape scenes in the book and ds doesn't need to be exposed to that. Another book was the second book in the Name of the wind series . Ds, dh and I had all read the first book and he was excited to read the second when It came out but the second book has a lot of sex and we felt it wasn't ok. Ds was a little disappointed but understood and never got mad to anything.

 

Ah, interesting, thanks for the reply. 

 

I'm laughing about 50 Shades of Grey. I haven't read it myself, so I know I shouldn't criticize it. I'm pretty confident that self-published Twilight fan fiction isn't a good thing (at least for me to read) and I've given it a pass on that basis alone. Happily, DD feels the same way and has no interest in them. She went from devouring the Twilight series when she was about 13 to detesting it within the span of a year or two. Thank goodness her literary taste has developed a little. 

post #35 of 38

does your reading have an impact on your kids reading? of course if they are old enough.

 

it really impacts dd. its a more recent thing. partly in the last 6 months. and that's when i feel i am kinda leading towards censoring. because now she has better coping skills i no longer need to keep an eye on the books she reads. those days are gone. its more about issues that are more adult. 

 

because of me she read/listened to The Help at 9, The Immortal life of Henrietta Lacks (did a lot of skipping on this one, but got the essence of it).

 

dd loves fantasy and i think its an escape to a wonderful world where its a lot of fun and adventure. NOT my thing at all. 

 

so that is why she is not at all interested in most of the classics. She did enjoy Secret Garden a long time ago. She enjoys Shakespeare, but not much else. even some of the children's literature. she finds them boring. i am assuming because she cant relate to them. she did enjoy reading a cookbook from the gold rush times.

 

do  your kids read the classics?

post #36 of 38

I don't preview what my 5 year old reads, never have I. But then again, he's only 5 and reads books geared towards kids.. older kids, but nonetheless kids. He isn't at all sensitive though. He has read books about war and death... and it's never affected him. And to be honest I don't think i'll ever preview his books, even when he gets that bit older.

post #37 of 38

I have to post a quick reply -- just because I wanted to offer a bit of contrast. 

 

I'm SUPER ACTIVE in what my 10 year old son reads. He's a sensitive kid -- with an enormous imagination -- and I've had enough nights-with-the-lights-left-on to know that it's important to be thoughtful.  But then it's really important to me that he have age appropriate material too -- so I'm not just weeding out the scary stuff, but also the books that are too mature (ie: for teenagers or adults).   Perfect example: I've put the hold on Hunger Games.  I said "middle school".    He doesn't love it that we don't let him self-select, but I'm OK with that.  But then we're a low-media, way Waldorf family -- so it runs with the territory.  ;)

 

Great conversation on this!  Glad to read everyone's posts!
 

post #38 of 38

Well I just had 'unlock' my kiddo's library card.  I guess when he turned 12 for some magical reason the library started to limit what could be checked out.  (11 yr old can get R rated movies but 12 yr olds need permission - go figure).  Some policy was in effect for ages 12-17 and I needed to sign a waiver for him to have full access again.   Silly in my opinion but I was more than happy to give him full uncensored access.

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