Loving reading all these.
I have been a doula for 10+ years and a momma for almost 6. When my turn came, I simply new it wouldn't be a hospital birth. I support families who make the INFORMED decision to birth there, but had known from my first hospital birth experience (pre doula training) it wouldn't be for me. For #1 we started interviewing home-birth midwives in town (many whom I knew from doula work) but then DH got deployment orders. Knowing I'd be alone and in a new rental home, we decided to go with a free standing birth center. He watched via webcam from Iraq. #2 we went with the same place simply because I knew them so well and it was like a 2nd home. When I called to tell the midwife it was time, she gave me this weeks alarm code and told me to settle in and she'd be there in a bit. Daddy caught while the midwife hung out looking bored because I wasn't pushing so it was taking longer. :) Both were great experiences.
This time will be our last and I want my home-birth :P It was a hard decision (one only confirmed and absolutely made w/in the last few weeks) to make because 1. my 'bestie' is now a midwife practicing where my other two were born 2. I had a miscarriage with a bad hemorrhage last year and wasn't sure I was a hb candidate (your mind can play tricks on you no matter your knowledge) and 3. our deductible is met so it wouldn't.cost.a.dime to birth there. But my husband is amazing and knows how important this hb is to me so we have made some changes, he has picked up some extra military work (in addition to his civilian work) and we will be paying for a home-birth. It's funny because when I tried to visual my hb prior to confirming our decision I couldn't. It was a mumble jumble of images. Now that I have told my mw friend for sure (who was so very supportive and promises to be here if she isn't on clinical or with a client), hired a midwife, and shared with the extended family our choice to hb..... I can see the candles lit. Hear the music. See my sweet daughter (who is as obsessed about birth as momma) coming in and out. See my birth pool being set up and entering it. I can see it all. And it warms me to the core. Truly. Deeply.