Hi everyone. First time on this forum I think. DS is nearly 5 and I've thought about home educating since he was a baby, read tons on it, talked to loads of home ed families, etc, and became more and more convinced. Went the nursery school route sort of to see how DS did with it, and neither of us was ever really happy with it, though at the time I felt I needed the break - he was always such an intense high needs and poor sleeping child and I spent most of those 15 hours a week catching up on rest. I finally decided to home educate recently - he would have started kindergarten in Sept. I tried to involve my ex all along the way of this education decision process - gave him details of when the school tours were (he never came to any), talked to him about my thoughts, sent him information about home schooling which he has clearly never read (not having realised, the first elementary point, that in England where I live it is legal to home educate in every area) - but he has not engaged and has simply always said 'Just send him to the nearest school, that'll be fine' without showing any interest.
When I told him I still wanted to home educate - this was after getting DS a place at the local school, (as I was still deciding and didn't want to not have a back up) and going to three settling in mornings there during the early summer - he at first seemed, while not happy about it, not unduly freaked out, even agreeing to read a John Holt book I lent him, and we ended that discussion on the note that I wanted to try a year of home ed and then reassess, to which he did not violently object but said he needed to think about it. Then, a few weeks later after hearing nothing more from him about it, when I brought it up again he acted as if we'd never had that discussion and as if I were throwing a total bombshell at him, he really freaked out and got quite vicious, threatening me with legal action etc., accusing me of negligence and 'trying to control everything' etc. In the end I said that we needed to go for mediation as clearly we were not communicating well enough. So he agreed to that at least and tomorrow is the mediation.
Anyone BTDT? I would SO appreciate any input/advice on how to handle it tomorrow, and what to say... I have never had mediation before so don't really know what to expect. Just for clarification, in England the system is that if the other, non residential parent (ie him) has parental responsibility as detailed on the birth certificate (which, unfort, he does have), that parent has equal say in medical and educational matters. However, in practice he would have to take me to court to contest my home ed decision, and it could go either way there. I'd like to avoid court of course, but will do that if needs be.