Random screaming, help!!

[kchara]

My 21 month old is in a screaming phase.  He screams when he wants attention, when he's happy, when he's sad, when he's angry, when he's hurt, when he's playing, when he's tired... WHENEVER.  He's ALWAYS screaming.  I, on the other hand, am beginning to see that I might have some sensory issues, including noise.  It's setting me off.  I'm working on getting the other kids into more of a quiet, gentle inside voice, but he just isn't "getting" it, and I'm not sure how to work with him.   He's fairly non-verbal still (common in my children, they were all late talkers, and he's number 6 of 6), but he does have a few words (help, which he says for everything, not just when he needs help, hi, and da for Daddy).  Other than that, though, it's just screaming.  Any ideas on how to teach him to be more calm and quiet?

[beckington]

Sigh. Right there with you. My ds2 is 20 months and has been doing the screaming thing off and on for the past few months but over the last month it's become more extreme.

It is driving me nuts. Nuts!

He is also a late talker, like my oldest was - though I don't remember the screaming with him.

I've been trying to focus on the screaming when he wants (or doesn't want) something. So if he screams for something, I (try to) say calmly "Would you like the <whatever>?". That usually stops the screaming now and he will babble something to me, which I take as being him asking me for it and then I give it to him. I try not to hold the object for ransom - I hate that strategy with a passion. The asking/babbling just takes a few seconds and I can do that while I'm going over to the object or, often, I have to figure out what it is that he wants anyhow, which takes time. This hasn't stopped the frequency of the screaming, but it puts an end to the screaming fairly quickly in that particular instance.

With the screaming when happy or playing, I have been pestering my oldest to stop playing such loud crazy games with him or to stop laughing when he's screaming. And I've been doing a similar distraction thing with him too. Say he's throwing a ball and is super excited and screaming. I try to get his attention "Oh you love throwing the ball! It's such fun! Can you throw it to me?" and that sometimes stops the screaming as he focuses on me instead.

That's all I got for now. We are having some success. It's so frustrating though, isn't it?
 

[kchara]

Thanks for the ideas, I'll definitely work more on asking him if he wants XYZ and see if that doesn't cut back on the screaming.  It is incredibly frustrating.  We're working on quiet voices, and he does use his quiet voice... for like 2 seconds.  And then he's over it.  When we were grocery shopping, he was screaming just to hear the echo in the big store, I think.  Yeah, the other shoppers didn't think it was cute, either.