First appointments? - Page 2 « Back to Group Discussions

[crunchyruchie]

You mamas are so on top of things! I'm planning a doctor's appointment with my family doctor next week, just so that I can get a blood test, some peace of mind, and know that everything is progressing smoothly. I think I'm anxious about actually setting up an appointment with a midwife (which is what I need to do, since I want a homebirth) because I'm not sure if I can totally afford it. The least expensive one in my area who seems super lovely would be my first choice. The problem? I'm a grad student and my advisor's wife is a midwife and I think it was always assumed that I would hire her. I adore her and think she's fabulous, but she charges more than the other midwife, and I'm not sure that I want to cross professional and personal boundaries quite that much. Like, I love being her casual friend and going over to dinner, but do I really, really want to give her a detailed health history and have her do my cervical exams?

Not so much. Ugh, what to do? I don't want to offend anyone.

Any thoughts?
 

[kikaaaso]

I will probably wait and call for my appointment when I am between 6 and 8 weeks. :)

[Lynann]

Rachel I personally wouldn't want to have someone who was already a friend be my midwife either. It just blurs the boundaries too much for me. Maybe try talking to your friend about it so she knows it has nothing to do with how well you think she does her job, but is more about your comfort level. As a midwife she should appreciate that you need a care provider that you feel comfortable using and not having to worry about the friendship side of the relationship at the same time.

[SweetMama34]

Rachel - I've been faced with something very similar. I have a dear friend who is a home birth midwife, but something isn't feeling right about hiring her to do my birth. She told me that ultimately she wants me to birth with who I feel the most comfortable with - and I know that she means that, but I also know that it's going to hurt her if I don't choose her.

I'd encourage you to go interview different midwives starting now. You may find some that are much more affordable, willing to work with you on price and I'd encourage you to share your concerns fully with them - you'll find someone who feels just right, and it'll make it easier for you to make a decision based on that gut feeling.

[porcelina]

Thanks, Aunaturalmama and DrMamaLealle, would love to see them!

[porcelina]

Originally Posted by crunchyruchie 

You mamas are so on top of things! I'm planning a doctor's appointment with my family doctor next week, just so that I can get a blood test, some peace of mind, and know that everything is progressing smoothly. I think I'm anxious about actually setting up an appointment with a midwife (which is what I need to do, since I want a homebirth) because I'm not sure if I can totally afford it. The least expensive one in my area who seems super lovely would be my first choice. The problem? I'm a grad student and my advisor's wife is a midwife and I think it was always assumed that I would hire her. I adore her and think she's fabulous, but she charges more than the other midwife, and I'm not sure that I want to cross professional and personal boundaries quite that much. Like, I love being her casual friend and going over to dinner, but do I really, really want to give her a detailed health history and have her do my cervical exams?

Not so much. Ugh, what to do? I don't want to offend anyone.

Any thoughts?
 

Hi! Well, I don't see why you would be obligated to hire her. Why not take advantage and say to her (and your advisor) that you feel so fortunate to have her advice and support as you move through your pregnancy, as she can help you know whether the choices your midwife make are the best for you. You can say it casually and with true sincerity (and mean it, most likely!). I'm very sure she and your advisor would understand if you didn't select her (they might even be surprised if you did, in reality, with the whole mixing work and personal life not all that recommended). :) Good luck!

[BeagleMommy]

I emailed my midwife who assisted me with the other two kiddos about an hour after the positive test. She does work in other countries training midwives and I wanted to be sure she was available. She is. Good midwives are especially hard to find near rural western Kentucky.

I hired a friend for my midwife for my second pregnancy because I thought she was a slightly better fit than my first midwife. It wasn't weird at all. Unfortunately, my friend the midwife died when I was 4 months pregnant. My original midwife was not offended that she was my second choice that time and she worked really hard to make sure everyone who was seeing my friend was able to find another midwife. I love my midwife!

I'll probably not see her until 12 weeks or so. She will want one ultrasound, which I'm not thrilled about but I will do. I'll also be hiring another friend as my labor doula. She was there for my second birth and was awesome. Also, my friend being my doula wasn't strange either.

[Mamma Mia]

I will see my midwife for our first appt on Wednesday (6 weeks), then next Monday I have a viability screening with the infertility clinic which will let me know pretty much for sure whether I have a singleton or multiples because we triggered 3 eggs for ovulation in this cycle, That will include and ultrasound and a bunch more blood work.  I've had a lot of miscarriages, so they may put me on progesterone and I'm thinking about how I feel about that. These fertility treatments took me from 100% always natural mama to dependent on a lot of hormones and meds mama and I'm trying to decide at what point in my pregnancy I can go back to 100% all natural mama again and leave this crap behind. Then I have regular prenatal with a nurse practitioner that will include another ultrasound on Sept. 20th.

I am generally opposed to ultrasounds, but my last miscarriage was missed and I hemorrhaged and nearly bled to death, so I kind of consider bi-weekly quantitative HCG tests and regular ultrasounds to be an important life saving technology for me to use in early pregnancy.  Hopefully I don't have to have any more than the 17-20 week ultrasound after my first trimester!  There's no reason to believe I will have a high risk pregnancy.

[porcelina]

Originally Posted by Mamma Mia 

I will see my midwife for our first appt on Wednesday (6 weeks), then next Monday I have a viability screening with the infertility clinic which will let me know pretty much for sure whether I have a singleton or multiples because we triggered 3 eggs for ovulation in this cycle, That will include and ultrasound and a bunch more blood work.  I've had a lot of miscarriages, so they may put me on progesterone and I'm thinking about how I feel about that. These fertility treatments took me from 100% always natural mama to dependent on a lot of hormones and meds mama and I'm trying to decide at what point in my pregnancy I can go back to 100% all natural mama again and leave this crap behind. Then I have regular prenatal with a nurse practitioner that will include another ultrasound on Sept. 20th.

I am generally opposed to ultrasounds, but my last miscarriage was missed and I hemorrhaged and nearly bled to death, so I kind of consider bi-weekly quantitative HCG tests and regular ultrasounds to be an important life saving technology for me to use in early pregnancy.  Hopefully I don't have to have any more than the 17-20 week ultrasound after my first trimester!  There's no reason to believe I will have a high risk pregnancy.

Wow, Mamma Mia, that's really scary! I didn't even know that was a risk of a missed miscarriage. I had one back in '05 and took cytotec, which I greatly regretted (horrible reaction). I always thought, "why couldn't they just have given my body the time to figure it out on its own!"

On the progesterone, I understand your hesitation. It's only for 12 weeks, though, right? Good luck deciding!

Edited by porcelina - 9/5/12 at 8:03am

[Mamma Mia]

Cytotec is not fun :(  I'll keep posted about these first visits. Looking forward to making this all more real.

[tbarnett]

I am a Sonographer by trade and we use the ALARA (as low/little as reasonably acheivable) principle because of the potential unknowns.  However, there really is no sufficient evidence to show any risk at all when used properly.  It can be an extremely helpful tool.  but, as a sonographer, one of my pet peeves would be those that come into the hospital with complications and their provider orders an Ultrasound to look for a potential source or the complication and all they want to know is.... "can you tell if it is a boy or a girl?".  

with my own son, I had 4 total ultrasounds.  In the beginning, we discovered I was carrying identical twins (mono/mono)... not ideal... however, with a couple of follow-up ultrasounds, the one fetus stopped developing early and my son went on to be a healthy little booger.  the 4th was my 2nd trimester ultrasound to monitor growth and do a basic anatomical survey which was a magical moment bonding with my baby, as well.

i'm pretty darn crunchy, but as a hazard of my profession, I see no problem in a first trimester and 2nd trimester ultrasound in a healthy pregnancy.   

[porcelina]

Woohoo! Got the early u/s to make sure no ectopic and all is well. They detected a sac and yolk sac, in the uterus, where it is supposed to be.

When the sonographer went in for the transvaginal, the doc was there and she said, "look at that!" somewhat excitedly. Then she said, "it's..." then said nothing, held herself back, and then after clicking around a bit, said, "no, I don't think it is." After the doc left, she told me she had seen the yolk sac, which took me offguard, and I forgot to ask what she had seen. In the moment, I thought she was going to say twins, by her excitement. But, maybe it was just a cyst or something?
Edited by porcelina - 9/5/12 at 6:10pm

[nstewart]

Originally Posted by porcelina 

Woohoo! Got the early u/s to make sure no ectopic and all is well. They detected a sac and yolk sac, in the uterus, where it is supposed to be.
When the sonographer went in for the transvaginal, the doc was there and she said, "look at that!" somewhat excitedly. Then she said, "it's..." then said nothing, held herself back, and then after clicking around a bit, said, "no, I don't think it is." After the doc left, she told me she had seen the yolk sac, which took me offguard, and I forgot to ask what she had seen. In the moment, I thought she was going to say twins, by her excitement. But, maybe it was just a cyst or something?

That's great porcelina!  You must be so relieved.  Twins would have been something.  It's a bit of a fear of mine...one was challenging enough!

We went camping with a couple who currently have 4 kids under 5: An almost 5 year old girl, a 3 year old girl, and twin 19 month old boys!  Needless to say they are very busy.  The dad was telling us that when they went for an u/s and found out it was twins he said jokingly, "It's just one in there, right?"  To which the u/s tech replied, "No, there's two."  He was in such shock he doesn't remember the 3 hour drive home! 

I will feel blessed to have a healthy boy or girl or one or two of each, whatever God has in store.  But yikes.

[porcelina]

Originally Posted by nstewart 

We went camping with a couple who currently have 4 kids under 5: An almost 5 year old girl, a 3 year old girl, and twin 19 month old boys!  Needless to say they are very busy.  The dad was telling us that when they went for an u/s and found out it was twins he said jokingly, "It's just one in there, right?"  To which the u/s tech replied, "No, there's two."  He was in such shock he doesn't remember the 3 hour drive home! 

Thanks for the laugh! I think my husband would have the exact same reaction!! I think 2 more would be a handful, that's for sure!!

I'm impressed that with 4 kids under 5 they managed to go camping!!

[amyknits1076]

I technically had my first appointment today, but it wasn't really an OB appt. I was having pain with intercourse and lots of pelvic pain last cycle, they did a sono to see if there were any cysts, there were none (but I had also cut all sugar and drastically changed my diet to try and get rid of it on my own 2 weeks before the sono). Anyway, today was my follow-up visit from that sono. It was nice to have my OB walk in and tell him. It was great. He came in and said, "Hey how are you?" and I said, "Pregnant! I just got a positive test this morning!" So we just chatted a bit about my diet, things I can do to prevent pre-eclampsia this time, and my plan for prenatal care and birth. He is totally fine if I want to go to a birthing center with a CNM or go see him at the hospital. He even said he'd be my backup if I need to transfer. So now I just have to decide what to do. Choices, choices...

Anyway, my first actual appointment will be on Oct. 3rd, I should be 8 weeks by then! We are also kind of still deciding on whether or not to do an ultrasound now or wait, or do one at all. My OB wants to get one for dates, but since we were TTC and charting, and we knew when I ovulated, I'm thinking I might not do it yet. We'll see.

Porcelina, so glad to hear there's no ectopic!! Yay!!

[tbarnett]

Yay Porcelina!  Great news!!!  Congrats... we will wait to see if maybe there are two in there 

blessing either way!!!

Amy... I'm so impressed with your OB for being so supportive of your choice to either have him deliver you or go to a birthing center.  Need to be far more OBs like that!  sigh...

[amyknits1076]

Originally Posted by tbarnett 

Yay Porcelina!  Great news!!!  Congrats... we will wait to see if maybe there are two in there 

blessing either way!!!

Amy... I'm so impressed with your OB for being so supportive of your choice to either have him deliver you or go to a birthing center.  Need to be far more OBs like that!  sigh...

Oh I know, he is so laid back and go with the flow, it's why we chose him in the first place. And if anything should go wrong and I need to transfer, I trust him completely. He is pretty great, and my DH is very comfortable with him too which is a huge bonus. There are a couple OB's in his practice just like him, I wish there were more too!!

[porcelina]

Originally Posted by tbarnett 

Yay Porcelina!  Great news!!!  Congrats... we will wait to see if maybe there are two in there 

blessing either way!!!

Thanks! I did call back my doc's office to find out if there was anything else in the report, and the nurse said the only other note was of a corpus luteum on the right side. But, that's normal, right? (you being an expert and all! :)) Or should I obsess incessantly about whether there could be more to the story...? (LOL - I'm going to try hard not to!)

[snozzberry]

porcelina, that must feel like such a relief to not have to worry about ectopic!

Originally Posted by SweetMama34 
I'm good with the early ultrasound to confirm placement, number of embryos, viability. I love the 20 week u/s for peace of mind and finding out the gender (I always felt more bonded after that for some reason!) I also had an u/s at 12 weeks with my last son (the AFP screening...my father had a son with Trisomy 18, and it gave me peace of mind to know).

...

With that said, I am SO looking forward to my 6 week ultrasound...I'm in total shock, still...and also a ball of nerves about all of the what ifs. I think seeing our little bean on a screen will give me great peace of mind. I also can't wait to see the look on my husband's face - this is his first biological child and he has never seen a little heart beat via u/s before.

SweetMama34, what you said. I plan to have the 8-week Doppler to hear heartbeat, and the 20-week u/s to find out gender, but besides that I plan to skip if at all possible.

This will be my first child with my partner (I have a 4yo daughter from a previous marriage), and I also am looking SO forward to seeing the look on my guy's face when he hears that heartbeat for the first time. He's kind of mushy sometimes, so if he tears up, I will probably bawl myself.

I just scheduled my 8-week appt this morning - it will be on Friday, September 28! And then the week before that, we'll go to a new patient orientation with the practice I'm using. They have both OBs and midwives on staff, and I love the idea of both disciplines working together to use the best of both approaches.

[lenny1027]

I called my OB's office on Tuesday morning to schedule my first appointment. They wouldn't schedule me for anything yet, they are just sending me a script for a blood test and then when they get that back they will call me for my appointment. I guess they can't trust that I'm pg until they get a blood test? Who knows. This is my first pg with this OB; I had a midwife group last time that I can't go back to because of the distance/won't go back to because of my post-birth experience. But I'm not too surprised about the bloodwork thing, since the midwife did send me for it off the bat for my other pg. I just assumed it was standard until I read some of your comments here. I was a little annoyed that the receptionist/nurse/whathaveyou said that they would call to schedule my "appointment and first ultrasound," like it was just a given that I would want an ultrasound to confirm pregnancy. I told her that I would be declining all ultrasounds except the second trimester anatomy scan, and she said "ok, well, we'll just go by the blood test then." I'm not totally sure what that meant -- to confirm pregnancy, or to tell how far I am? Because I know exactly how far I am.