I really would like to completely wean DS1. We've had a long, successful nursing relationship but I'm beginning to feel agitated when he nurses and it makes me feel angry and resentful. It doesn't feel the same with DS2 - I sometimes have nipple pain/sensitivity with both of them when they latch, but I don't get the agitation with DS2. Anyway, I feel like I am stuck because DS1 will not settle down and go to sleep without nursing. He is very high energy, spirited, and challenging. My husband can get him to sleep if he has to, but it means letting him stay up late until he's exhausted and laying down with him for an hour or more - usually he falls asleep before DS does. My husband had an incredibly stressful job and is a rockstar with the kids when he gets home, so I don't want to just pass off bedtime to him knowing it will be that difficult (though we've already discussed when the baby comes, we'd like the older two to go to bed for him or independently).
I've tried unlatching after a few minutes and trying to cuddle, sing, rub his back, but he just squirms, won't stay still, talks and giggles, and says he wants to get up. And I get angry and impatient and make the situation worse because he senses my agitation. I've thought about maybe getting a book-on-tape or something, but I'm afraid he'd listen to the whole thing and still be awake at the end - he's not the kind of kid who will fall asleep watching TV or anything like that. If we put on a movie when he was exhausted, he'd stay awake for the whole thing.
Does anyone have any experience weaning an older child who depended on nursing to sleep? He's too old/big to wear or rock to sleep. I feel so hopeless because I always give in and nurse him because it's the quickest way (since we've cut out his nap it doesn't take
that long) but I always come out of bedtime feeling angry and resentful towards both him (unfairly) and myself.
Thanks in advance for any replies.