There might be more serious mental health stuff going on.
My husband has... well, without oversharing, he has a host of symptoms. He is out of the military now, has been since 2005 and we have really have had our ups and downs. Really, really far downs, if you know what I mean. He has had numerous hospitalizations, etc. Suicide attempts, the whole bit. It's... a very rough road. It probably will never end. Think in the long term. Are you prepared to live like this for the rest of your life? I'm not saying that it is hopeless - DH and I are together and expecting our third, but it has totally done away with everything "normal" about our lives... no jobs (he gets disability, I get a stipend from the VA for caregiving), constant therapy, no social life, obviously relationship changes, family/relative changes, outbursts, etc. The kids are obviously affected, although I think they're coping rather well. But I've been pretty much the sole parent to them their first years, it's only in the last year or so that DH has really picked up the slack. But they're older, now, and the trade off they're starting to ask questions of why their daddy is angry a lot, etc.
I am lucky because my husband never got hooked on drugs or drink or other things some people self medicate with. And although divorce was on the table before (we even separated for a while) he is committed to being with us. If you can't say the same for your husband, i.e. if he is thinking of leaving, just be prepared that it can be a very long road. A lot of times mental health issues of active duty personell are swept under the rug because otherwise everyone and their mother would be asking for mental health services because let's face it, it's a freaking stressful job/lifestyle/etc and it's going to push people to their limits, even under the best of circumstances. I'm not villainizing the way the military works but I think they try to do the minimum possible, that way they can retain as many soldiers as possible. If your husband and you are committed to staying together, push hard to get him all the services he needs. If he accepts them... it can take a lot to do that, because no one wants to admit they need mental health help especially if their peers and superiors and doctors are, verbally or not, telling them to suck it up.
I'm really sorry you're in for this. It's an ugly side of military life. I would think long and hard about your goals. Yes, there's a chance that he could and will get better and "get over" his issues now, but it's not LIKELY to happen without him accepting the idea he needs help, seeking help, ,staying WITH getting help... and a lot of ups and downs. It's... it's possible, it's doable, but if he is not 100% on board with being with YOU, divorce being off the table, and making that commitment to work together... I would honestly say that it's too much for one person to handle alone, trying to move things forward. He might be great in his good times, but ask yourself if you can live with what he dishes out on his bad days. Because chances are, the bad days are not going to go away. If you guys DO stay together, I hope he gets better doctors. It's been like seven years of changing meds and such before we found a combination that works for my husband. And it still needs tweaking. They finally diagnosed him as bipolar - even though I'm fighting them for a borderline dx as well. A script for Zoloft? Uh... not going to happen. If I were you I would GO to see the mental health people or at least write them a succint, non-complaining, factual letter desciribing his behavior in a detached way. Specific incidents. They might not be aware of all that's going on. It took my doing that for some time before the docs really started listening. I let him do his own thing with the doctors for years, figuring it was his business. Turns out they had no idea what was really going on with his symptoms. He admitted to a couple of nightmares and anxiety. Yeah, that wasn't all. But the doctors aren't mind readers. They need to know. If he's willing to work on things... and you don't think he'd be dangerous-angry if you went above his head etc to his doctors or whoever, I would try that route. Just a thought.
Hope for the best for you guys.