My son Aden is 7 years old with Asperger. He is very active and loves sports. He plays soccer and hockey and actively involved in other sports. He has been playing with two 7 year old NT boys, Lee and Jason since last winter. Lee is a very active and loves sports. Jason does not like sports, only likes art and craft. Aden and Jason are in the same school, but they had never been interested at each other.
Both Aden and Jason love to play with Lee. Since three families are always together, three boys are always together.
At the beginning, all three of them played nicely, and slowly, Aden and Lee were closer, and Aden just followed Lee to exclude Jason, and even called him a “girl” because Jason cries easily. We had been non-stop educating Aden to be nice to Jason.
Starting early August, Lee became more aggressive to Aden. He started to have bruises on his arms and legs. He told me he got them from playing karate with Lee. Later, he told Lee to stop; he did not like it anymore. Then Lee started to move away from Aden and became closer to Jason. Aden was really upset and confronted with Lee with question like: “why were you like me more but now you like Jason more?” We told him he should not ask this kind of question because people can’t answer.
Now days, he is nice to Jason and Lee, he butters them up with compliments. He is accepting the fact that those two are closer. He kept playing with them, and no more sadness. Jason is very stubborn boy, he only likes Lee, and has very low tolerance toward Aden.
Lee plays with Aden well when only two of them, but shuts Aden out completely when there are more friends around. Also he is rude to Aden. When they play soccer together, Lee kept asking why Aden was not passing to him, and consistently blaming Aden. Aden just kept telling him SORRY.
Both my husband and I are not comfortable with the situation. Is it because Aden has the diagnose, we pay too much attention? If he does not have the diagnose, we would ignore the whole thing? Should we be interfering with his friendship development or just leave it to him to handle? Other parents don’t think it’s big deal because they think it’s part of their development. We I tell them about Aden’s diagnose, they think we are crazy to give him a label. Don’t get me wrong. They are nice families and nice people.
We are already trying to avoid too many encounters with both of them. but we are friends and live in the same block, we will have to meet each other offen.
I am looking for any suggestions.