body hair

[meemee]

now that i have a dd showing signs of puberty i have to think about the future of body hair. 

how to advice her.

what have you all chosen (for your dd or for yourself) that you prefer. 

eventually i guess dd will want to get rid of her body hair, so what is the best way to do so. 

shaving?

trimming? can you even trim leg hair

waxing

electrolysis

what else is there?

thoughts on why you prefer one over the other?

[homemademomma]

In all honesty, you shouldn't put too much thought into this. Maybe keep a spare razor in the bathroom and let her know it's there if she wants it, and make sure she knows how to use it safely. Things like waxing and Nair are too tricky for a young girl, IMO. No need to talk about drastic measures like electrolysis unless she develops an amount of hair that makes her uncomfortable.

[Adaline'sMama]

My mom had a talk with me about body hair when I first started to get it. I was allowed to shave my legs when my leg hair poked through my pantyhose when we were getting ready for church. I was 10, and she showed me how to shave my legs properly. I proceeded to cut the crap out of my legs for the next 2-3 months.

[jenniferlynne]

Shouldn't this be her decision?    Why not wait till she asks about it? Or maybe bring it up gently somehow and tell her you're happy to discuss options IF she wants to do anything about it.

[meemee]

oh it is going to be her decision.

but when she does come and ask me for advice what should i tell her.

i really want to tell her forget it, dont do it. but that may not fly. 

i myself shaved when really i didnt need to shave. and eventually grew long curly hair on my legs. funnily enough i just did it below my knees so i have long curly hair below my knees and short hair on my thighs that you can barely see. 

if she is going to have v. slight hair why get rid of it. 

[limabean]

Originally Posted by meemee 

i myself shaved when really i didnt need to shave. and eventually grew long curly hair on my legs. funnily enough i just did it below my knees so i have long curly hair below my knees and short hair on my thighs that you can barely see. 

Most people have more/thicker hair below the knee than above the knee. Shaving does not cause your hair to grow back longer/thicker.

[mumkimum]

IF you want to send the message that she doesn't need to shave, DO say it - be an example of someone who doesn't too if that's you.  But don't expect it to happen - I much would have preferred not to shave, but didn't want to get made fun of as a teen for having hairy legs when nobody else did.  That said, my dad did make some statement once about how women shaving their legs was silly and it was a helpful influence later when I did stop shaving my legs.  

I don't think my mom ever talked to me about shaving - I bought my own razors for the first time when she was out of town because I didn't want to deal with it and her.  But I know she later on offered to buy my sisters electric razors to use earlier, at the age one might start shaving their legs (12/13-ish, sorta as a bigger or coming-of-age type birthday gift).  If you tend to have sensitive skin in the family, that might be a good option to start with or consider.  

[onlyzombiecat]

I shave my underarms and legs with a razor. Dd (12) does not do any hair removal at this point.

We talked about how some women remove hair but some women don't. I tried to show her how to shave under her arms. She decided she didn't like it. I did tell her about some other options but she wasn't interested. The hair on her body doesn't bother her enough to remove it and she hasn't had negative comments about it. If she wants to explore hair removal again someday it is up to her.

I offered dd a razor because it is what I use. It is inexpensive, quick and quiet. It is easy to add to the regular bathing routine.

[meemee]

Originally Posted by limabean 

Most people have more/thicker hair below the knee than above the knee. Shaving does not cause your hair to grow back longer/thicker.

interesting. i didnt know that. 

but here is something i noticed that lead me to that belief.

i come from a gigantic family. lots of extended family.

many of my mom's generation shaved. not all. but the generation before her - no one shaved. my grandparents generation.

what has always fascinated me since childhood are the legs of these women. all those who shaved - they still have hair even in their 70s and 80s. colour might have changed but the hair on their legs are still there. however those who did not shave and my gparents generation - i never saw hair on the legs of the women above 60. meaning later in old age they had all lost hair on their legs (i cant remember if they lost it anywhere else). 

i guess that's what's made me think regular shaving keeps hair. 

mumkimum - yeah i no longer shave. havent for a few years. in fact dd has never seen me shave my legs -  coz i havent. 

i think she is the type of child who will seek my views on body hair. growing up myself - i just did it without seeking advice. 

[Jennyanydots]

Interesting topic.

I didn't really talk to my girls about it much, just mentioned that some people like the way it looks & feels to be hairless under your arms and on your legs, and some don't mind hair. I shave, DD1 is 16 and she doesn't shave at all. DD2 is 14 and she does.

[IsaFrench]

DD1 is 13 so am reading all replies with interest

she doesn't shave yet (that i know of or noticed)

i shave below the knee with a razor

we haven't discussed it yet ...

[limabean]

Originally Posted by meemee 

i guess that's what's made me think regular shaving keeps hair. 

I can understand that, but the Rogaine folks would be out of business if shaving hair made it grow thicker/longer/for a longer period of time. 

[meemee]

Originally Posted by limabean 

I can understand that, but the Rogaine folks would be out of business if shaving hair made it grow thicker/longer/for a longer period of time. 

do women use rogaine?

i thought it was for balding men who were losing their hair 

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by meemee 

do women use rogaine?

i thought it was for balding men who were losing their hair 

A lot of women find that their hair thins during menopause. If they already had thin/fine hair, it can be an issue.

[meemee]

Originally Posted by Linda on the move 

A lot of women find that their hair thins during menopause. If they already had thin/fine hair, it can be an issue.

oye ve! that's me. never thought about using rogaine. oh the possibilities of growing old. 

[limabean]

Originally Posted by meemee 

do women use rogaine?

i thought it was for balding men who were losing their hair 

It is. I just meant that if shaving hair caused it to grow back thicker, balding men would just shave their heads and let the thick hair grow in -- problem solved! 

[QueenOfTheMeadow]

I'm going to move this to Natural Body Care.  Enjoy the ride!

[redheather]

Don't all the girls wax- and I mean everything- these days?

Probably waiting for her bring up what she wants (what her friends are doing?) and then offering good options is the way to go.

A friend of mine who is a radical feminist just took her teenager to get her pubic hair waxed, despite it going against her personal beliefs, because she knew her daughter would do it behind her back anyway. She wanted to introduce her daughter to people who could do the job well and respectfully.

What I've been told: For someone with very light hair, waxing (anywhere) is great because it lasts a long time.

[aurora_skys]

Let me tell you how I wish my mom had handled these things. I am a very private person, I didn't want her knowing when or why I was shaving my legs. My mom was always violating my privacy and assuming things about me that weren't true (like if I was shaving it was because I felt bad about having hair or was getting with boys. Both false). This drove me to such a level of secrecy that she didn't even know I had gotten my period until two years after the fact.... Some kids won't ask their parents, they just want to handle it themselves.

Just let your daughter know that if she wants to shave her legs, there are razors and creme available in the cabinet. Tell her to rinse her razor and dry it after use so it doesn't become dull.

Don't ask her if she wants to shave, don't bother getting into why some people shave and others don't, just let her know it's available if she wants to. Learn more about the myths of shaving so that you can help her be better informed. Shaving is not capable of changing the way hair grows in (aside from ingrown hairs of course) or it's color, texture etc.

Shaving has to be hygenic, so be sure to talk with her sometimes about when people get ingrown hairs etc and how that is handled.

Keep Nair out of your house, that stuff is not very safe, especially for young people http://www.livestrong.com/article/80270-dangers-nair-hair-removal/

If she wants to wax at some point, I have always liked Nads. It's easy to use and kind of fun lol, she can do it herself no problem.

You can use a cheap beard trimmer to clip leg hair short, I do this so I'm not damaging my skin from too much shaving, but I wouldn't recommend it for a young person. The clippers are always loud and everyone else in the house will know what she's doing which some kids don't appreciate. Plus when she's got pubic hair if she goes after it with electric clippers she's going to maim herself. Catching a labia in those things is really painful :/

[Jennyanydots]

Originally Posted by aurora_skys 

Let me tell you how I wish my mom had handled these things. I am a very private person, I didn't want her knowing when or why I was shaving my legs. My mom was always violating my privacy and assuming things about me that weren't true (like if I was shaving it was because I felt bad about having hair or was getting with boys. Both false). This drove me to such a level of secrecy that she didn't even know I had gotten my period until two years after the fact.... Some kids won't ask their parents, they just want to handle it themselves.

Just let your daughter know that if she wants to shave her legs, there are razors and creme available in the cabinet. Tell her to rinse her razor and dry it after use so it doesn't become dull.

Don't ask her if she wants to shave, don't bother getting into why some people shave and others don't, just let her know it's available if she wants to. Learn more about the myths of shaving so that you can help her be better informed. Shaving is not capable of changing the way hair grows in (aside from ingrown hairs of course) or it's color, texture etc.

Shaving has to be hygenic, so be sure to talk with her sometimes about when people get ingrown hairs etc and how that is handled.

Keep Nair out of your house, that stuff is not very safe, especially for young people http://www.livestrong.com/article/80270-dangers-nair-hair-removal/

If she wants to wax at some point, I have always liked Nads. It's easy to use and kind of fun lol, she can do it herself no problem.

You can use a cheap beard trimmer to clip leg hair short, I do this so I'm not damaging my skin from too much shaving, but I wouldn't recommend it for a young person. The clippers are always loud and everyone else in the house will know what she's doing which some kids don't appreciate. Plus when she's got pubic hair if she goes after it with electric clippers she's going to maim herself. Catching a labia in those things is really painful :/

My mom did the same kind of stuff with me, made me so uncomfortable the whole time I was growing up. I agree with your approach. It was pretty much how I tried to handle things with my DDs.