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Queer Conceptions--September 2012 - Page 2

post #21 of 317



easttowest.  .YAY< so glad you got your OPK on time and sperm on time!  I hope this is it for you! 


tandy and hoping. . GOOD LUCK. . 


fillefantome. . welcome and hope your first try works out. . we have a KD we have not done a SA for yet and think we need to. . 


AFM. . I guess I can be moved to waiting to O though I am really still in Waiting For Flow   since it feels like that needs to come first even though we did not try this cycle. . well we did "try" just unfortunately we tried without sperm nut.gif  spent the weekend looking at my very pregnant SIL too which made me preggo-jealous. . 

post #22 of 317
joy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.giftreehugger.gif wishin&hopin treehugger.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gif. Stick little bean stick
post #23 of 317
Wishin, Wow!!!! Congrats to you two!!!! That's so exciting!!!!
post #24 of 317

Wishin! Yayayayayayayayayayayayayaayayayayayayaya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




post #25 of 317

Hello everyone! I hope you had a nice holiday weekend.  Our update - went to the dr on cd3 for a u/s, all looked OK and we had 8 follies...tonight is the last night my wife takes 200 mg of Clomid, and we're back to the dr on cd12 for a u/s and most likely trigger that day, followed by iui next day but we'll see.... hoping this is our lucky month! try # 3... and 3 is my lucky #. ;)

post #26 of 317
Originally Posted by wishin'&hopin' View Post

So, two nights ago DW informed me that she didn't think she was pregnant...oh well, guess that's it then...especially since she has had fewer symptoms then some of our tries.


Then, today, 13 dpo, we decided to go ahead and have her take a pregnancy test.  Figured we'd prefer to get a negative tonight so that we wouldn't wake up incredibly early to test tomorrow.  So, at 5:30p she took a pregnancy test.  


Once again...we assumed it would be negative.  


Then, within 15 seconds, a second line showed up.  


A dark one...didn't even have to squint.


Yup BFP.


The first beta hcg will be tomorrow...and we have everything crossed (we've both had early miscarriages).  


Wow.  Just, WOW.  


So, this cycle we ONLY did one IUI (we'd done two every other cycle) and it was at 39 hours post trigger.





Hooray!!! Congratulations!! I wish you a happy and healthy 9 months!! joy.gif

post #27 of 317

Augh!  I had a post and my computer ate it.


Wishin: CONGRATS!!!  Stick little bean!  Or go if you're no good (we've changed our motto in our house, it's stick if you're healthy, go if you're not).


Mrs: I'm sorry to hear about the cyst.  I hope the birth control works out well for you and that you can resume your regularly scheduled program shortly.


Fille: welcome!  As someone who wasted an ENTIRE YEAR doing insems with a KD who had a totally wonky morphology, make sure you get not only a count and analysis, BUT ALSO A MORPHOLOGY.  We thought we had got a morphology done before we started, but apparently not.  After 8 rounds of BFNs, we got KD to do another analysis, and his morphology was 100% abnormal (ie, not a single sperm of the 41 million in his count was normal).  You need to know how many sperm are there, if they can swim (motility) and what they look like (morphology).  I was surprised to learn that a normal morphology of 6+% was perfectly acceptable.  So the fact that our donor couldn't even make ONE BLOODY SPERM that wasn't a wacko was a huge huge huge disappointment.  The usual STD screening applies.  CMV status is important for YOU to know.  If you are CMV reactive (ie, you've been exposed to CMV at some point in your life) then it really doesn't make a big difference what your donor is.  If you are CMV negative, then your donor MUST be screened for CMV, AND he must be negative, otherwise CMV will make you very sick and will do crazy bad things to the fetus (you may even lose it).  So, take it from someone who is now reeling after wasting such a vast amount of time, get the testing done NOW, get it sorted and squared away.  All of this testing should be able to be done through your family doctor.


As for titles, our lawyer told us that if our kids called their KD "dad", if he ever went to court to seek custody, their calling him "dad" establishes a pre-existing parental-like relationship that can be enough evidence for you to lose full custody.  Our donor would've been called "Auntie KD", since he's a big flaming fag, and that was OK.  But "dad"?  No way.  In our province, children still have the right to a mother and a father, and if mama is a homo and her partner is non-bio mama, then they aren't considered the child's legal parents.  It's about to change, but in the meantime it's what we've got!  


AFU: So, just when we thought we had our ducks in a row, we got socked in the face again.  DW developed appendicitis on Friday and went for emergency surgery early Saturday morning.  Augh!  It's just one thing after the other!  She's now got a minimum of 6 weeks to wait before we can do anything, but she would like to push her fibroid surgery back until possibly after Christmas, in order to give her body a chance to recover and heal.  I just don't know, I feel like we're wasting a considerable amount of time while her body goes absolutely bat shit crazy (2 major inflammatory crisis in two years?  I think something's wrong, that we're doing something wrong, or not doing enough.).  I keep turning over in my head how we could flip and I could be the one to get pregnant, unfortunately I would have to go back to work well before my mat leave was over, and that would make me really really sad.  But, for the moment she's healing nicely.  It's just frustrating.  thanks for letting me vent!!

post #28 of 317

Thanks everyone!  We are super excited and another pregnancy test this morning confirmed that for now we are still getting to enjoy the BFP!  


Soto--these things seem to come in waves around here, hope you're riding the wave w/ us soon...


Darth--that sucks, I hope DW recovers and heals quickly so that you can resume trying...and I hope that the "what if" fairy stops plaguing you...

post #29 of 317

Wishin, CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!! joy.gifjoy.gifThat is just so fabulous! Hoping for a happy and healthy nine months!


Darth, sorry you're having so many obstacles. Big hugs to you and your partner.


mrsandmrs, I can only imagine how wrong it must feel to take birth control when what you want is to be knocked up. Fingers crossed that this is quickly resolved. Also, I don't think I realized that you guys have an older child already.


easttowest, sounds like you nailed the timing! Fingers crossed for a BFP!


Welcome to all the newcomers, and fingers crossed to everyone else in the wait!

post #30 of 317

Yay Wishin'! Congrats to you!biggrinbounce.gif


Wow - I have missed a lot by going away for the weekend. Sorry I am way behind on personals. Hello to the new people!


Believe it or not, I am finally in a TWW after insemming yesterday! Lise, thank you for the new thread, and please move me to Waiting to Know. It was a crazy mess -- away for the weekend for our anniversary, we did our u/s on the way out, and the doc was supposed to call my cell and tell me when to trigger, but she called home, which I didn't know because I forgot how to check the home messages from the road. So I had to call the answering service and get the on-call doc to call me from her home with my results, which she was able to look up by computer. She said trigger b/w 8 and 10 pm, then insem between 8 and 10 am 36 hours later, which was Labor Day.... My midwife's office where I was doing the insem only had coverage for the afternoon for Labor Day, so they moved heaven and earth to get someone to open the office in the morning. Wow to that. We are still trying to exhale. We have high hopes, I have to admit, because this was my first time using the trigger.


Fille: Back when we had a KD, we wrote an agreement, but we knew it wasn't legally binding. I talked to a lawyer familiar with lesbian issues, and she said that in Mass., bio dads can't give up their parental rights until three days after the birth. So she would have gone to court to accomplish that, and then my wife would have to "adopt" the child, though she said it would be a fairly simple matter of paperwork and not a home visit, etc. I found the lawyer by Googling things like gay and lesbian bar association, second parent adoption attorney, and that sort of stuff. You may have to call more than one to find one who's really knowledgable on the subject (I did).

post #31 of 317

Outdoorsy: I'm so excited for you! Welcome to the TWW-- sending lots of good vibes your way. It's your turn. 

post #32 of 317

Wishin omg yay ! congrats x 1 million ! good luck with the beta. do you get results quickly??


darth - my heart aches for all the crap you two have gone through. why would you have to go back to work early? i always think of canada as this fantasy land for maternity leave. also, i'm surprised to hear about the right to a father thing. we eloped to BC and i always thought it was the most queer-friendly place. i guess it's a reminder that things are complicated everywhere. 




afm birth control. blech. whatever.  darth - i sent you a message on facebook but i think since we're not fb friends it might go to your "other" fb messages folder. check for it ! 

post #33 of 317

lb99 and fillefantome - Welcome.gif  We look forward to getting to know you better.  lb, I sent you a Private Message and I realize you may not be able to write me back because you are a new member.  If you have any questions, you can post them here and I'll write you back.  It's nice to see someone else in my 'hood.


easttowest - Yeah for the smiley face!  I hope your TWW is going by quickly and smoothly.


hoping2bemoms- fingersx.gif for you too!  I am expecting AF on the 13th or so.  We are meeting with the RE on the 12th to discuss our options and the plan for the future.  We are planning on trying again this month, but we shall see.


mrs - I'm so sorry.  That is such a blow.  I hope the BC clears it right up and that the metformin has been doing its job and you can get back to it soon!


tandy - I hope the TWW is also passing quickly and smoothly for you!  goodvibes.gif


wishin' -  Congratulations and Happy Anniversary!  Fantastic news!  I hope you have a healthy, sticky bean.






cordelia - I hope AF shows up soon so you can start planning for the next try.  Always sounds funny to say but it's true.  I'm waiting too.  Glad you got some "trying" in.  A midwife who teaches queers about fertility advises 3 orgasms per week.  I wrote that one down and put a star next to it in my notes.  winky.gif


SanDiego - Here's to lucky number 3!  I hope those follies are growing big and strong so they'll be ready to make a baby next week.


Darth - Crap!  I'm sorry about DW being sick and having to have surgery for something else.  I hope her body is healing well and getting back to some kind of equilibrium.  It's so hard to have to put things off for months and months.  Feel free to vent anytime.


outdoorsy - Congratulations on making it to the TWW!  You finally get to move out of waiting to O!  I hope you had some healthy egg(s) in there that are now fertilized and dividing and growing and moving towards implantation.  Just a little visualization for you.  Happy Anniversary too!  bouncy.gif


AFM - Not much happening here.  We had a very low-key holiday weekend.  Went outlet mall shopping in Saturday and had a nice lunch in wine country.  Then we mostly stuck to the homestead.  I often need a break away from other people to recharge.  We made an appointment with the RE on the 12th to talk about what is going on, what else we can do, and what the plan will be for trying again.  We feel frustrated that I'm not pregnant and we don't know why it's not working.  I don't have any official diagnosis of anything.  I wanted to see if there are any other tests we should run.  Then we just want to talk about what to do next, if we should do something different.  This can be such a confusing process.  I second guess myself all the time.  Should I take this herb, should I stop taking this supplement, should I just keep taking more and more drugs, am I throwing my body out of whack?  I've been ovulating earlier the last few months thus making my cycles shorter.  My LP is good.  I'm just concerned that ovulating early could be a problem.  I was taking Vitex religiously for quite a while and it made my cycles longer.  Recently, I have cut back, changed back to capsules from liquid and sometimes I don't take it at all because I read it interferes with drugs like Clomid.  I feel like if it didn't work in the past, it probably won't work now so why should I bother paying for it and taking it when I'm not sure if it helps.  Anyway, it's annoying.  I guess I'm just hoping I will stumble upon the perfect combination of stuff by accident and everything will work out fine. 

post #34 of 317

Well, I'm not sure what's going on, but I'm really emotional about it nonetheless.


on 9DPO I took one of those two line tests against my better judgement. I waited the recommended 2 minutes and nothing showed up, so I went back to bed. Sleep always makes things better. A few hours later, DW went in the bathroom and saw a faint (but definitely clear) second line. The box says not to read anything after 10 minutes, so I felt like it was probably not right, but still...


I got my hopes up.


So, this morning 11DPO, I took another test- the "Pregnant" or "Not Pregnant" kind. It said Not Pregnant. 


Maybe it's too early, but I also feel like its probably not. I just really, really got my hopes up after DW saw that second line :(


On the way into work NPR aired a story from a woman who saved her daughters' voice mails from when they were 1.5 and 4 and she played them back and I started bawling. They were all "I love you Mommy!" in that adorable little kid voice....


Dang this is hard. 

post #35 of 317

Soto--my DW stopped all early testing after our first cycle several months ago...mostly b/c it just jerks around the hopes and hearts.  I do THINK the digital pregnant/not pregnant tests aren't as sensitive as the line tests tho'...altho' I don't know if knowing that helps.  We've gotten negative digitals and positive lines in the past.  But, it is important to not read anything into lines that show up after the 10 minutes (or whatever the box says), when the urine evaporates it can leave a shadow where the chemical strip is for the test.  I do hope that you get an unmistakable BFP in a day or two...hugs.

post #36 of 317

soto.. .ugh, sorry about the testing ups and downs, def don't read them after the time, it's so hard.  I do still hope that your digital just didn't catch it yet. . there is DEF still hope.  Testing is so hard, hard to wait, hard to test. . 


pokey. . yeah, DH circled the part about multiple Orgasms when we read the Lesbian Guide to Conception. . continues to be the angle when I am not in the mood, "but don't you want to make sure you're fertile"  ROTFLMAO.gifHope you find that perfect combination of stuff and that RE visit goes well. . 



outdoorsy!  YES!  finally!  I hope this 2WW goes by quickly and ends in VICTORY BABY!!!  


darth. . all of that just sucks. . seems like just when one obstacle is tackled another one comes along. . hope you and DW are all okay 

post #37 of 317

Thanks to everyone who wished me well with my TWW.


Tandy -- from your lips to the ears of the universe! (about it being my turn). Thanks! How is your TWW going?


Soto - Unfortunately you are just torturing yourself if you read the HPT long after the directions say. But it may be too early for you to get a positive. I'd try to hold out until 14 DPO.


Darth - I'm so sorry to hear about your DP's health problems and the resulting delay, but I'm glad she's healing well. Hugs to you.


mrsandmrs - thinking of you.


Good luck to everyone, at every stage...

post #38 of 317

We'll know what the first beta hcg is this afternoon...I'm holding my breath.  


I hope we get to stay on this side of a BFP--and I hope that everyone in the 2WW comes on over for a permanent stay with us.  XO

post #39 of 317

Thanks y'all. Your words are always so encouraging and they really do help.

AF came this morning- just when I was gonna do another two line test. 


The good side is that my cycle seems to be pretty normal still. My temp dropped to .3 above the cover line this morning, so that gave me an indication even before I went to the bathroom. Also, last night I was a crying fool and I felt super crampy in my legs and lower abdomen. Those two things had me wondering, but the temp and then, of course, the blood gave it away.

DW and I are pretty strapped for cash, so we are thinking about switching to NW Cryobank and ICIs that we can do at home. This is new territory for us as we've never even considered doing them at home before. At this point it just seems way more affordable, though. It can't be that much different than having it done at the Midwifery clinic, can it?

Now, I just need to do some reading on this new path, find an OBGYN close to my house, get the name and number of a fertility acupuncturist that DW's friend told her about and take one step at a time.

Lisedea- can I please be moved to Waiting to O?

P.s. I'm thinking of you today! 




post #40 of 317

P.P.S. I'm crossing my fingers and toes and everything else for you and your DW, Wishin! 

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