Augh! I had a post and my computer ate it.
Wishin: CONGRATS!!! Stick little bean! Or go if you're no good (we've changed our motto in our house, it's stick if you're healthy, go if you're not).
Mrs: I'm sorry to hear about the cyst. I hope the birth control works out well for you and that you can resume your regularly scheduled program shortly.
Fille: welcome! As someone who wasted an ENTIRE YEAR doing insems with a KD who had a totally wonky morphology, make sure you get not only a count and analysis, BUT ALSO A MORPHOLOGY. We thought we had got a morphology done before we started, but apparently not. After 8 rounds of BFNs, we got KD to do another analysis, and his morphology was 100% abnormal (ie, not a single sperm of the 41 million in his count was normal). You need to know how many sperm are there, if they can swim (motility) and what they look like (morphology). I was surprised to learn that a normal morphology of 6+% was perfectly acceptable. So the fact that our donor couldn't even make ONE BLOODY SPERM that wasn't a wacko was a huge huge huge disappointment. The usual STD screening applies. CMV status is important for YOU to know. If you are CMV reactive (ie, you've been exposed to CMV at some point in your life) then it really doesn't make a big difference what your donor is. If you are CMV negative, then your donor MUST be screened for CMV, AND he must be negative, otherwise CMV will make you very sick and will do crazy bad things to the fetus (you may even lose it). So, take it from someone who is now reeling after wasting such a vast amount of time, get the testing done NOW, get it sorted and squared away. All of this testing should be able to be done through your family doctor.
As for titles, our lawyer told us that if our kids called their KD "dad", if he ever went to court to seek custody, their calling him "dad" establishes a pre-existing parental-like relationship that can be enough evidence for you to lose full custody. Our donor would've been called "Auntie KD", since he's a big flaming fag, and that was OK. But "dad"? No way. In our province, children still have the right to a mother and a father, and if mama is a homo and her partner is non-bio mama, then they aren't considered the child's legal parents. It's about to change, but in the meantime it's what we've got!
AFU: So, just when we thought we had our ducks in a row, we got socked in the face again. DW developed appendicitis on Friday and went for emergency surgery early Saturday morning. Augh! It's just one thing after the other! She's now got a minimum of 6 weeks to wait before we can do anything, but she would like to push her fibroid surgery back until possibly after Christmas, in order to give her body a chance to recover and heal. I just don't know, I feel like we're wasting a considerable amount of time while her body goes absolutely bat shit crazy (2 major inflammatory crisis in two years? I think something's wrong, that we're doing something wrong, or not doing enough.). I keep turning over in my head how we could flip and I could be the one to get pregnant, unfortunately I would have to go back to work well before my mat leave was over, and that would make me really really sad. But, for the moment she's healing nicely. It's just frustrating. thanks for letting me vent!!