or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Queer Parenting › Queer Conceptions--September 2012
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Queer Conceptions--September 2012 - Page 11

post #201 of 317

sorry to the ladies in which this was not their month, but your month will come blowkiss.gif

 

looks like we'll be starting injectables soon using Menopur and Follistim, has anyone used these? Any success stories as well?

post #202 of 317

Tandy, please do thread-crash, and thanks for your kind words. I was looking foward to the idea of being due date buddies because we probably live close enough to get lunch, but I'm glad someone as nice as you got a BFP. Bon voyage to QP&P!

post #203 of 317

mrsandmrs - thanks for this info, we're going to continue with acupuncture winky.gif

post #204 of 317
Quote:
Originally Posted by SanDiego78 View Post

sorry to the ladies in which this was not their month, but your month will come blowkiss.gif

 

looks like we'll be starting injectables soon using Menopur and Follistim, has anyone used these? Any success stories as well?

 

*raises hand*  the product of a successful follistim cycle is currently doing somersaults in my belly and kicking the crap out of my internal organs.  it didn't work the first time around (despite my having something like 6 decent follicles), but the second time was the charm.....and that was after a year and a half of trying.   i call Follistim "liquid gold", and not just because it's wildly expensive.  the needles really aren't that bad, and the results are *definitely* worth it. good luck!

post #205 of 317

Thank you so much to everyone for your kind words of support. I'd say you have no idea how much they mean, but you probably do, as everyone has been on the receiving end at one point or another.  

 

The news was heartbreaking, but here we are on CD 3, and I feel like we're that much closer to success.  We're doing a few things differently this month, and I think it will really help.  First, we're getting a sperm sample checked out before we do the actual insemination.  It can't be a full analysis once it's in the buffer, but we'll at least get the reassurance that those swimmers have the capability of knocking DW up after traveling 3000 miles.  Second, she's only temping for the two-ish weeks necessary to determine that she ovulated.  She'll start once AF is gone, and as soon as she gets the spike, we're out.  No obsessing over what the numbers mean as we get closer to testing.  Plus it's not a daily reminder that we failed at this twice before.

 

It looks like we might have terrible timing yet again.  Such are the draw backs of doing this long-distance.  Based on past months, she'll probably ovulate on Monday or Tuesday (Oct. 1 or 2) - and of course we can't receive a package on Sunday or Monday.  I think we'll chalk up the money for two tries this month - one on Saturday for insurance and one on Tuesday (unless she ovulated on something crazy, like Saturday or Sunday).  It really sucks to know we'll be spending twice the money for two times that might totally miss it, since Saturday might be too early, and Tuesday might be too late, but it's the best we can do, and hopefully she'll ovulate on Tuesday, and we'll hit it exactly.  I'm also trying to remind myself that I have read so many stories on here of people who got pregnant exactly the month they thought they got the timing all wrong.

 

Question: We now have four months of charts, and DW has always had a luteal phase in the 11-13 day range.  That's low, right?  Is that a problem?  She's going to acupuncture, but she's never specifically mentioned her luteal phase, so maybe she will next time.  Is there anything else she can do?

 

Second question: What's up with a positive OPK not followed by a spike?  She always gets a positive and then a spike 4-5 days later.  Which day is she ovulating?  We always just assume the day after the positive OPK and figure she has a delayed rise.  If we were straight, we'd just keep trying until the spike, but we don't have that luxury, and obviously we don't want to miss it.  What gives?

 

Thanks again for the support and advice.  Two months is nothing in the grand scheme, and we went through the adoption process for long enough to know that once that baby is here, all the sadness will disappear.  Just hard to put in perspective sometimes.  Happy New Year to everyone celebrating, and hopefully this year is sweet to us all. 


Edited by easttowest - 9/17/12 at 6:50pm
post #206 of 317
Thread Starter 
easttowest: I don't think I would worry so much about 11-13 being too low...but does it fluctuate every month? Cycle lengths vary because of ovulating at different times but the LP should be pretty consistent. Mine is pretty much always 13 days except for an occasional cycle when AF arrived earlier in the day (before 3:00) so I counted that day as 'offically' CD1 instead of the following one.

I wish I had an answer to your second question...but I really don't know. I would just keep temping for several months and look for those three high temps that show that she definitely ovulated. I wonder if it is possible to O that long after a surge? Does she continue to take OPKs after it becomes positive? I would be interested in whether or not she has lots of positives in a row...some people surge longer or it takes a bit to get their body geared up for it.

Have you thought about going to a FS or RE just for basic bloodwork to make sure everything is hormonally normal? I ended up doing it after a year's worth of at home insems and wished I had done it sooner since I had a few issues. I didn't plan on getting IUIs in the clinic at first--just wanted to check on everything and they were very willing to do so.
post #207 of 317

Just doing a quick drive-by post.

 

Outdoorsy, I'm so bummed to hear this wasn't your month. Are you going directly into your next cycle? I hope that's the one for you! 

 

e2w - I think if the LP is less than 10 days, it is a problem bc the embryo wouldnt have time to implant, but most docs will consider 11-13 to be adequate. But if her prog. is low, that would show up in a blood test and you could take supplemental prog. Does she stop taking OPK's when she gets her first + one, or does she know how long her surge lasts? that would help with pinpointing O. Sometimes if you keep testing, you will see + OPKs can span time. Since you're using fresh sperm (i think), your timing doesn't have to be quite as precise as with frozen because it lives longer. 

 

SanDiego - I have never used follistim before but I'm using it on my next cycle.... whenever my cyst shrinks, that's when we'll start. I have a good feeling about it -- perhaps because nosreves speaks so highly of it :D 

post #208 of 317
Quote:
Originally Posted by easttowest View Post

Thank you so much to everyone for your kind words of support. I'd say you have no idea how much they mean, but you probably do, as everyone has been on the receiving end at one point or another.  

 

The news was heartbreaking, but here we are on CD 3, and I feel like we're that much closer to success.  We're doing a few things differently this month, and I think it will really help.  First, we're getting a sperm sample checked out before we do the actual insemination.  It can't be a full analysis once it's in the buffer, but we'll at least get the reassurance that those swimmers have the capability of knocking DW up after traveling 3000 miles.  Second, she's only temping for the two-ish weeks necessary to determine that she ovulated.  She'll start once AF is gone, and as soon as she gets the spike, we're out.  No obsessing over what the numbers mean as we get closer to testing.  Plus it's not a daily reminder that we failed at this twice before.

 

It looks like we might have terrible timing yet again.  Such are the draw backs of doing this long-distance.  Based on past months, she'll probably ovulate on Monday or Tuesday (Oct. 1 or 2) - and of course we can't receive a package on Sunday or Monday.  I think we'll chalk up the money for two tries this month - one on Saturday for insurance and one on Tuesday (unless she ovulated on something crazy, like Saturday or Sunday).  It really sucks to know we'll be spending twice the money for two times that might totally miss it, since Saturday might be too early, and Tuesday might be too late, but it's the best we can do, and hopefully she'll ovulate on Tuesday, and we'll hit it exactly.  I'm also trying to remind myself that I have read so many stories on here of people who got pregnant exactly the month they thought they got the timing all wrong.

 

Question: We now have four months of charts, and DW has always had a luteal phase in the 11-13 day range.  That's low, right?  Is that a problem?  She's going to acupuncture, but she's never specifically mentioned her luteal phase, so maybe she will next time.  Is there anything else she can do?

 

Second question: What's up with a positive OPK not followed by a spike?  She always gets a positive and then a spike 4-5 days later.  Which day is she ovulating?  We always just assume the day after the positive OPK and figure she has a delayed rise.  If we were straight, we'd just keep trying until the spike, but we don't have that luxury, and obviously we don't want to miss it.  What gives?

 

Thanks again for the support and advice.  Two months is nothing in the grand scheme, and we went through the adoption process for long enough to know that once that baby is here, all the sadness will disappear.  Just hard to put in perspective sometimes.  Happy New Year to everyone celebrating, and hopefully this year is sweet to us all. 


Sorry this last try wasn't the one :( I would also suggest going for some basic blood work to check things out. I don't think 11-13 days is too short..but it could be improved. If your DW is going for acupuncture for fertility she should absolutely be talking about her luteal phase! How often does she go? Weekly is optimal if you can swing it. If not, bi-weekly or based on certain times in your cycle would be best.

 

I'm not sure about the rise 4-5 days after a positive opk. I can't remember - what kind of opks are you using? Digital? Are you 100% sure the opk is positive? Sometimes it can be hard to tell with the 2 lines ones. For the 4 months you've charted has O always happened 4-5 days after O? It *might* just be normal for her.

post #209 of 317
Easttowest. I have the same question about opks if they are line or digitals. On the line ones I get a line reading for three days until it is as dark as control line sonthe first two days are not considered positive. For temp spike I have heard it can take up to 48 hours to register progesterone but should not take longer than that. So my best, unmedical, guess would be she is ovulating later than you think but again I don't know.

We are doing the two insems this month too. If you save your kits and ship them back to your kd there are a few places that will sell you just the TYB so you can save a bunch of money. I know the place you are ordering from does that and babydustdelivery sells a four pack of just the buffer too.

11-13 is fine for a luteal phase ...longer is generally better but I think it is 10 and under where you have concerns. But if she is ovulating 2-3 days after you think it could be worth checking out.

Anyway those are my marginally informed thoughts if the morning.
post #210 of 317
Thanks for all the input! She's been using both digital and line. The digital gives just one positive, as that is what is designed to do, and the line will generally be just as dark the second day. I've heard it's normal for younger women to have a long surge, but that ovulation should happen within 36 hours of that first positive. I guess we will figure she's on the later side and try insemination 24 hours after the first positive. Our fresh sperm should live longer than her egg anyway. I'd love to get her hormones checked out, but she is on student insurance, and we figure we would be laughed out of the room if we tell them she's 26 and we've tried for two months. I get that it should probably just happen, but it costs us money every time we try, so it's frustrating to be treated like straight people who can just try for a year before figuring something might be wrong.
post #211 of 317
e2w: Have you guys been doing any cervical observation? Get a speculum (we got ours on Amazon) and a flashlight, plus a mirror for her, and check out what's going on in the days leading up to the surge, through the temp rise. It's amazing to see how the cervix changes as ovulation approaches - and it closes right up with ovulation happens. That will give you a ton of info about when, (more) exactly, she's ovulating.
post #212 of 317
Quote:
Originally Posted by easttowest View Post

Thanks for all the input! She's been using both digital and line. The digital gives just one positive, as that is what is designed to do, and the line will generally be just as dark the second day. I've heard it's normal for younger women to have a long surge, but that ovulation should happen within 36 hours of that first positive. I guess we will figure she's on the later side and try insemination 24 hours after the first positive. Our fresh sperm should live longer than her egg anyway. I'd love to get her hormones checked out, but she is on student insurance, and we figure we would be laughed out of the room if we tell them she's 26 and we've tried for two months. I get that it should probably just happen, but it costs us money every time we try, so it's frustrating to be treated like straight people who can just try for a year before figuring something might be wrong.


I was a grad student on student health insurance when I conceived my DD. I was very DIY about things for that reason (at home IUIs, etc.), but I did get a couple basic blood tests done after 2 or 3 cycles just for piece of mind. My doctor didn't code them as infertility (which my insurance didn't cover), just regular bloodwork, and so my insurance payed for them. Even if your insurance won't, it might be worthwhile. I personally think that a gap that long between a positive OPK and a temp rise might indicate something slighly amiss. Or not, especially if all your other signs are lining up (ditto the suggestion on tracking her cervix). If you're doing two insems a month, maybe time one based on her OPK status and one based on all the other signs? (cervical opening and mucus, temperature patterns, etc.) Good luck!

post #213 of 317

AF.

Waiting to O.

post #214 of 317

I'm so sorry outdoorsy!  hug2.gif  Take care of yourselves. Do something fun.  I hope next month is better.

post #215 of 317

outdoorsy, hug2.gifhug2.gifsorry AF came. all the luck and baby dust for your next cycle.

 

AFU, AF should be on the road on her way to meeh right around now. Heard back from the SB and they've gotten all mye paperwork (we're switching banks for this cycle) and said mye RE faxed over the ones she needed to complete, so we're good to go. Starting Femara on CD3 and then i'll be placing the order. Going into this cycle very relaxed and chill. Told DP to wait b4 announcing to the 5000+ friends & fans on her FB that we were trying. I think last time we tried I felt so very pressured to be pregnant not just for us but for all these people I don't even know! Figured this time we'll keep it intimate nd hope to be announcing a BFP. Yes, ppl know we're trying, but you ladies and DP are the only ones who know what we're up to right now, specifically.

post #216 of 317
Quote:
Originally Posted by nosreves View Post

 

*raises hand*  the product of a successful follistim cycle is currently doing somersaults in my belly and kicking the crap out of my internal organs.  it didn't work the first time around (despite my having something like 6 decent follicles), but the second time was the charm.....and that was after a year and a half of trying.   i call Follistim "liquid gold", and not just because it's wildly expensive.  the needles really aren't that bad, and the results are *definitely* worth it. good luck!

aww, that is fantastic news nosreves! thank you... we're excited to start this next cycle. smile.gif

post #217 of 317

easttowest:  I'll chime in with my thoughts: I typically use digital OPKs and I will keep using them until the happy face goes away. The happy face is usually there for me for about 18 hrs, typically into the next day. So even though I'm 36 I think I may surge later too. In terms of the delayed spike, I agree with others that it may take away for the temp to rise due to slow rise in progesterone. Getting Progesterone levels checked 7dpo could be helpful. Are you guys of fertility friend? Fertility friend will determine O day for you, not always the most accurate but it's a nice visual. I think luteal phase lasting 11-13 days is pretty typical. Unfortunately I have had difficulty getting to 11-13 unless I've been on progesterone and I may have to return to it in the future. Good luck with figuring out your next step.

 

Outdoorsy: I'm sorry about AF. It always sucks. Being that you and I are the same age, I always make an extra special wish for you when you share that you are the tww. It will happen for you. I hope it is next cycle.

 

fmmorris: I completely support your quest for privacy with announcing ongoing ttc efforts. I think I naively mentioned at work that my wife and I were starting to try - that was two years ago. Luckily we have had such high turnover during this time, most of the current staff aren't aware of my ttc desires.  After the disappointment of the first few cycles, I vowed to myself to only share my process with people who I feel comfortable showing my full range of emotions too, including sadness, which isn't alot of folks at this point. 

 

nosreves: it so good to see you pop in to give your words of advice. I'm still so happy for you and your dp. I hope you are not dealing with as much homophobia with the french medical establishment now that you have moved on to prenatal care.

 

AFM:  5dpo. So please put to me in the "Waiting to Know" camp. No crazy symptoms ... just a very mild breast tenderness.  So I just whistle and wait. If I only get to 9dpo and I start spotting like I've done for the past two cycles, I will have to check in with the naturapath. I really don't want to go back on progesterone suppositories. I felt so wacky when I was taking them. hmmmm. we'll see. 

post #218 of 317

outdoorsy. . I am so sorry. . I really was hoping this was it for you.  I imagine nowhere near as much as you were but I was so sad to hear your news.  Hugs and baby dust for next cycle. 

 

fmorris. . I def second the people not knowing, if people know they will ask, or if they don't ask, they will think.  It's good to have support from folks but it does add to the stress for sure if they are people you don't want to have to process with each month. . good luck with the new protocol

 

invitin. . FX this is it!  baby dust for you

 

AFU. . . trying to decide if I should ask KD to ship today and tomorrow or tomorrow and the next day. . last cycle I O'd on day 14 and today is 12 but I have not seen a line yet on my cheap tests and usually I get two days or so before a positive. . CM was not there as of last night but I have started using the CBEFM too since someone gave one to me and it said today was a high day, though apparently it can give several days of high. .UGHHH, wish I did not have to make the decision for today for what my body will do the next two days.  I know I won't O tomorrow but if I O on Friday I would love to get them both in ahead of time but if I don't O until Saturday doing it tomorrow seems like a waste!  Sorry, this is probably incoherent and rambling. . any thoughts? 

post #219 of 317

Pokey -- Thinking of you and wishing you a super strong and sticky BFP this cycle!

 

fmorris - good luck with the Femara. The telling / not telling people question is a hard one. I had to tell my parents and sis quite a while back, because I felt like I was lying every time they said, "How are you, what have you been doing?" and keeping it from them made me not want to talk to them. But now that they know, and it's taking so long, I'm sure they pity me, which sucks.

 

invitin - I am making an extra special wish for your TWW, my fellow 36-year-old! Baby dust to you!!!

 

Cordelia - thank you for the kind words of sympathy. Re your question - that's a tough one. Have you tried a digital opk? I don't have experience with fresh sperm, but since it lives longer than frozen, it seems like insemming early is OK as long as you are going to O within 2 days.

 

AFM - Doing another Clomid/trigger cycle with RE this month. Since I've used up the vials I had at the midwife's, I now get to insem at the RE's, which I hope will be better. Baseline u/s tomorrow at 7:30 a.m.

 

Has anyone seen the YouTube videos under "Lesbian Family Diary"? (Is that called a YouTube channel? I don't even know.) I found it last night and love it. The girl is pregnant now, but you can go back and watch past videos of her BFN(s) and TTC journey. One time her wife taped her actual IUI. Very cool. http://www.youtube.com/user/LesbianFamilyDiary

post #220 of 317

outdoorsy - Really sorry about AF.  It sounds like you were prepared for it, but it's always hard.  At least you're that much closer to trying again.

 

cordelia - I would go for earlier if it were us, but only you know your body.  It sucks when these things happen on the weekends!  If for no other reason than it will be cheaper to deliver on Friday, I'd go for that.  If it makes you feel better, I don't think tomorrow would be a total waste if you O on Saturday.  Fresh sperm lives several days.  Every time I worry about it, I remind myself that people who are specifically trying for a girl often stop trying three days before O, since the "girl sperm" are apparently heartier and live longer.  And people get pregnant that way!  So it's not ideal, but even two or three days before O can work.  Of course, this is advice from someone who hasn't managed to get pregnant yet, so take it with a grain of salt.  I so hope this is your month!  Knowing that you are using fresh shipped sperm with your trans partner makes me feel like you are my wife and my other half somewhere out there!

 

AFU - CD 5, and we're just cruising along.  Not temping makes my wife so much happier (because she doesn't have to be up at 6 every single day).  We've hit a snag in trying to schedule to sperm analysis since the guy who does it NEVER answers his phone.  Arg!  We were hoping to do it tomorrow, but that's out now, since I would have had to ask KD to ship today, and he's three hours ahead, so he's most certainly out and about by now.  Hopefully DW will get a hold of the guy today, and we can schedule the analysis for Friday.  We're planning to do something fun this weekend and next, so insemination day should be here before we know it.

New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Queer Parenting
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Queer Parenting › Queer Conceptions--September 2012