or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Queer Parenting › Queer Conceptions--September 2012
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Queer Conceptions--September 2012 - Page 14

post #261 of 317

fmorris - I'm sorry you had a fight and you are feeling so down.  TTC adds extra stress to everything in our lives.  It's a good test of our communication skills and we will need those when we have kids.


easttowest - I don't think a midwife would make much difference.  I know you want to do all you can, but getting the swimmers near the cervix with the needleless syringe is probably the best you can do.  I have heard some people use an instead cup afterwards to keep everything in place, but I have also heard that if you insert it wrong, it can do more harm than good.  It may not be necessary.  It might make you feel better just to talk to an expert and confirm you are doing the right thing.  I will ask my midwife about it when I see her soon.


Good luck to everyone entering the TWW!  Exciting time!

post #262 of 317

invitinconceptn. .sorry, I meant to kick you off the island too. . yes, you too are officially off!  that is strange about the progesterone. I don't have any advice for any of that though.  Only thing I know for high estrogen is to cut back on soy if you eat a lot, or eliminate it.completely since it basically is estrogen. .I hope you do not wake up to spotting today. . I guess the only good thing is now you have some info that you did not have before.  Today is a friend of mine's shower who was TTC for 2 years and now is a month away from having twins. . so never give up! 


fmmorris. . sorry about the fight, try not to let it get into your body too much, I personally find everything makes me even crazier when things are in the busy parts of TTC, testing for O, waiting to insem, etc,  so go do something nice for yourself today and hope you and DP smooth it all out.  I would insert a hug icon here but I can't find it! 

post #263 of 317
Thread Starter 
fmorris--I am sorry you are going through this. TTC causes so much stress and most couples will fight more often--even about things unrelated. Hang in there and know that you are not the only one--and things will get better! hug.gif

invitin--This was my second medicated cycle. I had gonal f 150 starting at day 3, had a trigger, and took (well, still take) progesterone. I had 3 mature follicles and one on the brink--I could see some fluid near my ovary yesterday so I know that the last one didn't release.
post #264 of 317

Morris:  Sorry to hear you're feeling down.  TTC is so difficult on relationships.  I hope the storm will pass quickly.


Lise:  I still can't believe it!  It's cool that you and CANanny can go through this together.  They are only a little ahead of you!



AFM:  I think I'm out this cycle.  13dpo and got a negative this morning.  I was feeling somewhat hopeful because 3 days ago I had some mild cramping.  It has continued on and off since then, no spotting, no sore breasts like I normally get for AF, but I would think a FRER would have caught SOMETHING by now.  So, hopefully I'll get AF by Monday, if not, I'll be out next cycle, too because I'll be out of town during baseline time.  Blah.

post #265 of 317



AFM:  I think I'm out this cycle.  13dpo and got a negative this morning.  I was feeling somewhat hopeful because 3 days ago I had some mild cramping.  It has continued on and off since then, no spotting, no sore breasts like I normally get for AF, but I would think a FRER would have caught SOMETHING by now.  So, hopefully I'll get AF by Monday, if not, I'll be out next cycle, too because I'll be out of town during baseline time.  Blah.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  . . boo on BFN, I hope you have another test left because hopefully you will need it tomorrow.   Yes, FRER would usually catch it but I do know more than one person who did not get it until after AF did not show.  I know it's not as common but holding out hope

post #266 of 317

EastToWest: fresh IUIs are not permitted with a known donor. That's the wonderful FDA stepping in and monitoring our bedroom! There is a guy that will do them (and has gone up against the FDA a couple of times for the right to do it) however, studies have shown that fresh IUI vs fresh ICI show minimal if any difference in success rates. But if you're interested in checking out whether the guy still does them (we almost considered him with our known donor and then didn't) it's Rainbow Flag Conception Services in Alameda. Guy's a little strange, I'll warn you on that but if it's something you wanted to consider. I contacted At Home Midwifery just to doublecheck that they wouldn't do it and they said no. Guy had to be my husband or boyfriend. Technically known donors in the privacy of your own home are illegal according to the FDA.


You're probably over the ovulation discussion but I agree with Cordeila on your DP's O date. Day 18/19 are looking like it. I never had a spike in my temps. I had the step up rise which is what it looks like she has as well. And I got pregnant three times off that kind of a chart so just doing you're best (which you're already doing) is the best that you can do! I hold out a lot of hope for you.


AFM: we do our frozen embryo transfer of our one "genetically perfect" embryo middle of next month. I start shots on Monday night. I pray very few of you have to get to the journey I did. I'm so sick of shots and doctors.



post #267 of 317

easttowest--- I think that you are talking about IVI, not IUI, correct? it seems like a lot of answers were about IUI, but it seems like you know it is not likely a midwife will help you with IUI with a known donor. in your situation, i think many midwives would be willing to help at least walk you through the process of intravag insemination so you feel more confident, even though it might not be practical to have them do it every time. have you read the stephanie brill lesbian conception book? it might have some good advice for you too. i think mostly you want to get the sample as close as possible to the cervix with your needless syringe, and hang out horizontally for a little while to let the sperm swim. 

post #268 of 317

Pokey, Cordelia, Lise, Jenny: Thank you all so much for your support. I usually don't have anyone to talk to without feeling like they're judging meeh. I do know this is a stressful time, but I've been trying to avoid doing that to myself and mye body. We did sit down and talk, but things still seemed tense. Funny thing is a couple of weeks ago I made a 22 page Photo album on shutterfly and have been trying to keep it a secret so bad. I put pictures from when we first met until now and narrated the whole book. It came yesterday right in the middle of our argument and needless to say it got pushed to the side. After we talked DP finally looked at it and went through every page. When she was done she looked at meeh and told meeh how much she loved meeh as well as the Album. I think maybe she gets worried or frustrated around times like this bc we so wanted it to take last time and were very disappointed. I feel so much better thanks to you guys and DP realising we have much more important things to be focusing on. Today is CD3 and the first day of mye Femara. This cycle is officially kicking off. Thank you guys again so much for all the positive words and hugs!!thanks.gif

post #269 of 317

Krista, I will cross everything I have for you, and cross all the babies I work with too.  

post #270 of 317
Thank you to everyone for your advice and insight, especially those who went out of your way to ask your midwives questions for me. We know we can't do IUI with shipped fresh sperm, so if we ever move onto IUI, we would lose my brother and have to get a WTBK donor, which would be a real loss for us, and we hope we don't get there. I was just wondering if it is worth it to consult with a midwife or if we're pretty much doing everything we can. I also thought that maybe getting the sperm right on her cervix might be useful, but maybe not. Sometimes I feel like we have done all this research and know what we're doing, and sometimes I feel like we're flying blind. Thanks also to those with input about the O day. We have been a little early if it's 18/19, but we'll be inseminating on day 18 this time out of necessity, so maybe that's good. We will keep watching the signs and see where we are. It's CD 8 and AF is officially gone, so she is temping again. We went one wonderful hike and swim today, and our one year anniversary is this week, so we're really just enjoying life and doing TTC things as they come up.

Good luck to everyone who is in the wait or just about to inseminate. Don't give up until AF arrives! 13 DPO is still early; most HPT are not accurate until the day of the missed period. Just one more reason we have decided never to test early!
post #271 of 317

krista.  FX this is it, you are totally kicked off the island too, it sounds like your journey has been so long and hard and I really hope you can move onto the pregnancy journey


easttowest. . have you considered having your KD donate to a bank for you and have it quarantined for 6 months so if you did have to move to IVI/IVF or anything more extreme that you could still use him and move ahead that way. . I hope it does not take that long but if it does it would be great to be prepared.  One of my friends did this with their KD. . they have been trying at home for months and wanted to have a back up and then when they did move to IUI they were ready. . you do have to pay for storage but obviously you don't have to pay for the sperm. . FX it doesn't come to that. . maybe next month will work with the later insem!!  

post #272 of 317

Good luck Krista!  Crossing everything for you and your one perfect embryo!joy.gif





AFM:  Very light pinkish spotting and a wicked backache.  Throwing in the towel... on the upside -- if AF gets in full swing, I'll make trying again before I leave.  This cycle coming up will be my last vial of sperm and then I have to start figuring something else out.  I'm a super crabby piss ball tonight.  This F*"$ing sucks. :(  I really don't know how you all keep at this month after month.  This the end of my 2nd attempt and I've already had it. I'm sure I'll feel better once I get bleeding, I feel so angry right now, it almost HAS to be hormones. And disappointment.  And worries about money.  And running out of sperm.I feel lame for including this in the very same message to wish Krista good luck -- after everything she and dp have gone through, but it's where I am right now.


post #273 of 317
Cordelia, we have thought about it, but the cost seems so prohibitive. KD doesn't have insurance, so getting all the blood tests that are required is over $1k, plus storage and shipping when we need it. Plus he's my brother and I don't want to inconvenience him so much, as he would have to travel an hour or so to the closest city to do it. He's been so great so far, but that's a lot. We aren't so concerned, because of course we hope it works in the next year with shipping fresh, and if not, we might skip straight ahead to IVF with my eggs and her carrying. Then we'd just implant multiples and hope for twins and be done! But of course that's so far in the future, we will probably not need to go down that road. Thanks for the suggestion, though!

Jenny, so sorry. It sucks every time. Let yourself be as cranky as you want, and be good to yourself.
post #274 of 317

aw jenny, so sorry, let yourself be cranky, it's unfair that you get bad news at the time you are most programmed to be cranky anyway. . hugs. . 


easttowest. . yes, that all makes sense, I should have known you already thought about it!  it seems extra hard when it is your brother bc I'm sure there are so many family/personal dynamics involved beyond the usual with a KD. . but it sounds like you are doing great thinking and planning and all that. . and yes, I hope you don't have to go down all those roads and it happens more easily for you than all that!  It is so frustrating that there are all these costs involved, I do feel like money should never come in the way of wanting to make a child. 

post #275 of 317

Thanks Cordelia and eastowest.  I'm feeling a little better today.  At least seeing the bright side -- my ovaries are functioning, clomid is working for me, I have no structural issues, it's still REALLY early in this process for me.  I really could be much worse off considering my PCOS.  So, I have a lot to be grateful for... I'm also going to insist on later insem this time.  36 hours, no execptions!


Apparently, I needed a good rant last night.  The first time, I was totally fine emotionally.  I was taken by surprise by how disappointed I felt this time.  I figured it'd roll off just like last time.  I guess I was wrong!  Even though I knew what the beta results would be today, it was still difficult to hear.  Ah well, onward...


Can you please move me to WAITING TO O' ?

post #276 of 317

Jenny - BUMMER. i know what you mean - the second and third times were harder for me because i was just like, well, statistically should we have hit the bfp target by now? it's frustrating. let your rage and frustration out ! i'm sure you'll never know the third round of disappointment because next time is your BFP! 



fmorris - Sorry to hear about the fight. for some reason fights during TTC bother me like a thousand times more. aren't we creating NEW LIFE together? why are we irritating each other so much!??! anyway, good luck with the femara! 


e2w - i hope these banking issues are never a major concern you have to deal with. seriously! 



KRISTA ! i hope that perfect embryo gets to incubating very soon. good luck with the transfer!! 

post #277 of 317
Thread Starter 
Although we still have a few days, is anyone interested in being the threadkeeper for October?
post #278 of 317
Originally Posted by lisedea View Post

Although we still have a few days, is anyone interested in being the threadkeeper for October?

Though be warned, it seems to come with triplets!

post #279 of 317
I will do it if we can have some of that thread keeper's luck over here. Though maybe not by a multiple of three.
post #280 of 317

haha - if we have a third threadkeeper with triplets, no one will ever volunteer again ! 

New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Queer Parenting
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Queer Parenting › Queer Conceptions--September 2012