On Friday I received a call from the OB. My NT scan looked fine, but the blood work returned a 1:5 likelihood for Down Syndrome. I was so stunned that I didn't ask for the specific numbers (not that I would have known what to ask for right then), but I'll find out at our genetic counseling session on Tuesday. I am 38 years old, 14 weeks along with our second.
I understand that screens are not fail proof and that the only definitive way to know if the baby has a genetic issue is to do an amnio; I'm fine that doing it now. I know many mamas here would be happy with a DS baby. For personal reasons though, DH and I decided we would not continue should the amnio results be positive.
With DD, after we saw an early HB at 7 weeks at my OB/GYN's office, I switched over to a homebirth midwife practice. The rest of the pregnancy was smooth, and we birthed our daughter at home. I was 36.
When I found out we were expecting again this January, I thought I would get the initial appointments done at a local OB office first, then switch over to our midwife. Convenience and proximity were the deciding factors, mainly because my midwife's practice is a 2 hour round-trip drive and my toddler doesn't do well in long car rides. I thought I was being pragmatic.
Unfortunately I've come to expect only bad news whenever I visit the OB. First the excruciatingly long office waits: my first visit wait was 3 hours, and subsequent visits are typically 90 minutes of waiting. Then the parade of bad news: not finding a heart beat at 9+ weeks, a hard miscarriage at 11 weeks, an emergency D&C.
In June I (foolishly?) went back to the OB practice to confirm our current pregnancy. After not finding a gestational sac and early spotting, with the doctor unable to provide any explanation, I got sick of doing nothing and sought an acupuncturist. The spotting stopped after 10 days of treatment, and we saw a heart beat, yolk sac, etc. I remember the OB looking visibly relieved. I never told him about the acupuncturist.
Again, I was hoping to reach the 12 week mark and receive the all-clear from the NT scans to switch over to our midwife. Which leads me back to the beginning of this post, where we are now.
My husband has had it with this OB's practice: the long waits, the many appointments, the litany of doom and gloom. DH wants us to switch providers, even seek out another practitioner to do the amnio. We will go to the genetic counseling because it's scheduled for Tuesday, and I doubt we can find another genetic counselor who is available before then. To add insult to injury, my husband's company made an egregious error in our insurance paperwork in which I was suddenly dropped from his policy mid-year. I'm waiting to be reinstated, but I don't know when that will be; hopefully very soon.
Sadly, I feel like I've given up hope for this p/g. Yesterday I realized I've gone a few days without taking my prenatal pills, likely because I've been so distracted. I've been ordering a lot of takeout for the family because I just don't feel like cooking (typically I enjoy it). DD is such a delight and I am deeply grateful to stay home with her, yet I'm unable to give her the attention and joy that she deserves because I'm so emotionally and physically tired.
I'm sorry for casting such a dark shadow on what should be a very happy period. I need to pull myself out of this, for my sake and the sake of my family. Any advice and help would be so appreciated. Thanks in advance.