This is great discussion about the love languages. I really should get it from the library and have DH and I both read it. We really are the opposite, like many of you said. DH's is definitely sex. Mine is... I don't know. Maybe sleep, or whatever cleaning translates too.
Originally Posted by MarineWife
I guess my thing with this is that if you aren't getting any sleep either way, why not at least lay down in bed with baby so you can get some rest and aren't always UP. KWIM? At least, that's what works for me. If I'm absolutely knocked out, zombified exhausted, I will lay down on the couch or in the bed and let the baby crawl all over me, alternately letting him nurse when he wants and crawl/flop/squirm. At least then I can rest my eyes and brain a little. If I'm really exhausted at night and D is just not ready for bed, I take him to bed and let him play around in the room while I lie in the bed. Anything to get at least a few minutes of rest.
I certainly wouldn't be staying up cooking and cleaning and doing dishes at any time that baby was sleeping. I'm probably sounding kind of harsh now but if I were that exhausted, I would let everything else go except sleep/rest whenever I could. I would expect my dh to do all the cooking and cleaning if he weren't really helping with the baby. Stop trying to do everything in the home yourself. You have your day job of taking care of the kids while your dh has his day job wherever he goes. When you are both home, the home and family is a job for both of you. You should not be doing all or even most of it. If your dh gets pissy about that, he needs to grow up. I'm sorry but I think too many women take on too much because the men whine about it. Too effing bad, men! OK, getting off my
It's just that I get about the same amount of sleep either way, but when she sleeps in her crib, then at least I don't wake up sore, you know? I'm still tired, but at least I'm not tired and in pain. I have been working on arranging pillows etc the last few days, and it's getting easier (She's been sick, so she's been in bed with us a lot). It's just still not 'comfortable'. In some ways too, the getting out of bed helps, because it breaks it up. I have periods of sleep. now I'm up with tenley. Now I'm sleeping. Now I'm up again. etc etc. When I'm in bed with her, it starts melding together, and then it feels like I've been up with her all night long, and had no 'sleep' time. I don't know if that makes sense, I know I'm weird :P
And LOL, you really are down on men! haha It's very very very rarely DH that would ever complain about the cleanliness of the house. And he's not the one complaining about cosleeping either. That's all on me. As much as he can be a doozie and say the stupidest things, really, he's a good and helpful husband (or he tries to be...) My standards are just a lot higher than his. It's like... ok. yes. I could go to bed immediately when Tenley falls asleep. But because I haven't had time to settle and turn my brain off and just... unwind from the day- I'm likely to spend two hours falling asleep getting frustrated, while I think about all the things that I want to do and respond to on FB or just... get out of my brain. Or... I can spend an hour or so doing a quick kitchen clean, and having some quiet time on the internet... and then I'll actually be able to sleep peacefully (albeit being up often) knowing that my house is tidy and my brain is empty :) Either way, I'm not getting more rest, but one I feel more settled.
Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes
This is old but I've had thoughts in my head waiting to comment on this for a few days!!
I honestly never thought AP meant easier. I always thought of it as doing what came naturally to me. Things that seemed wrong or that could possibly be harmful have huge red flags for me, and I often don't trust doctors (especially when it comes to sleep and nutrition), so many things that ap parents do, like bf, cosleep, and not sleep train, seem like a no brainer to me.
First babies are a slap in the face. You get pg, you dream about it, you day dream about it, you give birth and suddenly -- OMG WHAT DID WE DOOO!?
I still think that the rewards for AP are down the road a ways. Right now it's all about laying the foundation and gaining their trust and respect. Shortcuts now to me seem like a quick fix (like sleep training) but I couldn't bear the thought of holding that guilt for the rest of my (and my childs) life. You know?
Oh yes, I mean I'm not saying that AP was a choice because it was "easy", it's a choice because it just... feels right. I just meant that like... it feels like with babywearing, and breastfeeding and responding to baby's needs-- that they should be happier :P And easier to deal with as a result. I know it's not as easy as that, obviously, but it seems like it should be! lol
I mean even now though right, I can see the differences. We go places and people are like "She's such a happy baby!!" And I'm kind of like well... that's because she's held, and secure, and her needs are met. She crawls away from me at lightening speed, giggling like a fiend, because she knows I'll be there for her when she turns around. This shit didn't come easy! lol And I know that the effects will just get more and more noticable.
So... Ten got sick a few days ago, and Dh the same day. I thought I made it past it, but we just went down for a heavenly family nap, and when I woke up I felt like death. I think my body was like "Oh, she's down! Ok, start teh sick NOW!" lol So yeah... very nice cuddled up in bed for a solid hour good sleep... but now I feel bad. Bad bad bad. I downed a cup of tea, which was wonderful, and just took pulsatilla. I wonder how much tea is too much? I feel like I could drink it all night long. I know just honey and lemon is supposed to be good too, so maybe I'll switch to that.