Here's the situation: DS is 3 weeks old and we are just getting over our latch issues and initial painful breastfeeding sessions. I am feeding on demand and every 2-3 hours maximum. I *hope* we are on the tail end of his 2-3 week growth spurt, but I'm not entirely sure.
Right now, I will feed for 15-20 mins each side (sometimes 30-45 minutes one side), to the point where DS falls fast asleep. Sometimes I wait for him to detach, sometimes I have to delatch him because he will phantom feed for as long as I let him. The deal is once he is fed (and fast asleep), I hand him off to DH to put down. Never fails that as soon as I hand him off, he'll start to stir. If I keep him in my lap, he's golden, but I can't so much as lay him down in our bed next to me, without him waking up. (I do usually wait at least 10 minutes after he's asleep, so it's not like he's in the fluttering eye stage.)
The problem is that DH thinks DS is always hungry. He'll have him for 5 minutes and bring him back to me, telling me he's ready for more. I know he can't possibly be hungry. This child will feed on both sides, til my breasts are nice and soft, and I'll re-feed him on both sides again. When I give in and DH hands him back over to me, he'll feed for 5 mins tops, and then be fast asleep again. Repeat process multiple times. I get so frustrated because all I want DH to do is keep the baby asleep, but he can't seem to do it.
It's even more frustrating because sometimes I think all DS needs is to suck. But DH is against using a pacifier.
It's to the point where I need to get some sleep. And even though DH will occupy the baby, DS will fuss and fuss for an hour or so, and if I can hear him fussing, I am completely unable to nap or sleep.
Breastfeeding seems to be well established. DS has never had an artificial nipple (we will be introducing a bottle with expressed milk this week). What do I do? Is a pacifier that bad? How can I convince DH that I really can't afford to be his pacifier at all times, and that DS may settle more easily if we try it out. I don't want to create a bigger mess for myself, or a bad habit we can't break down the road. But DH is just convinced we don't need the pacifier.
A bit of background - this is our first child. DH is also going to be staying home with DS when I return to work, so right now, he is home with me during my maternity leave. A great help for these 12 weeks, but it means that he is around ALL DAY LONG, so I can't really "try out" the pacifier without him knowing.
Thanks in advance!