My little boy is 3 1/2. He's the most lovely, sweet, kind little guy, but I'm struggling a lot with his behaviour. The way he needs to control so much of what we (mama, father and little brother) do. And the crying/screaming/hitting/biting that happen when we don't. I feel overwhelmed being the only person able to soothe him.. Often the only person about to talk/help/do things with/for. I feel overwhelmed organising food. DS has obvious behavioural reactions to lots of foods, and we're working on healing his gut health.
I just feel so angry today. I love him so much, but I find myself wishing things were different. I'm resentful that it's so hard. And I find myself blaming him. I know it's not his fault. But sometimes I find myself treating him as though he's doing it on purpose.
I have always been what you would consider an 'attachment parent'. But I find myself yelling and threatening, a desperate attempt to gain some control. I know it doesn't help. I even know what does help (to pre-empt stressful situations, explain what is happening beforehand, help and do what he asks wherever possible, without frustration), but I get so agitated that I can't think straight, and I'm struggling to find ways to calm myself.
To add to it, my DH (who has Aspergers) isn't able to help during the stressful times. He swings between no involvment, and being very frustrated/angry. He always feels DS is being spoilt, and I should do less for him (so he will learn that tantrums wont get him anywhere). We disagree on this. I don't believe DS has that much control over his reactions.
So, what do you do to cope? How do you keep yourself calm? I'm open to any ideas!