Okay, I KNOW it's not actually crazy (and I have subscribed to the TTC 40+ thread) but I am having such a hard time with getting in a good headspace about it.
I turn 40 this October. I have one DS who is 5 yrs old. We always wanted more but DS has lots of health/dev issues (multiple life-threatening food allergies, asthma, verbal apraxia, sensory processing disorder, autism) and for a long time we thought we wouldn't have another,
THEN, early this year, DS was doing so well and we started thinking maybe we could do this.
We tried and I got pregnant on our second month of trying. I was really excited. The baby was due in December. I was okay with being "just passed 40" when the baby was born.
Then we discovered at 11 weeks that I'd had a missed miscarriage. Super sad.
We started trying again this past month and sadly, I just got a BFN.
I am starting to feel anxious about "how old I am getting"
At this point I will be well on my way towards 41 even if we got pregnant right a way. And what if it takes months and months? I admit I went into this cycle was feeling cocky because it happened easily last time. Now, with us timing everything right and it not happening this cycle I am realizing it may take a while.
I am healthy. I had a good pregnancy with DS and an easy, vaginal, drug-free hospital delivery with midwives.
But I can't shake the feeling that I am running out of time. That I am being "crazy" doing this. That I should throw in the towel. And this anxiety really doesn't help with the general anxiety around having another loss.
I just need reassurance that it will be okay. That if I am 41 or (gasp!) passed 41 it will still be okay.
Great stories of your pregnancies/births passed age 40 (especially at 41 or 42) would be greatly appreciated.