Long-winded and stressed out (attractive combo ;) « Back to Group Discussions

[fairyswizzle]

Hi ladies - just looking for a little support, or wise words, or something.... <3  Long!!

My partner and I relocated to the east coast (him last Oct, and me in Apr) to try to make a go of life closer to home - hoping to finish our off-grid cabin and start organic farming etc. Then we found out we were pregnant for the first time(!!)...so we moved 3 hours away to live in his parents house (they live out west currently until retirement) after realising how hard life was going to be without plumbing, power or a fridge when preggers....

We've spent the last 3 months in a tiny little town, him unemployed (receiving unemployment benefits from the gov) and me marginally employed at the local library (dream job!) - 60 hrs/month. We're 1.5 hrs away from our chosen Dr. & hospital, on country roads and I'm due on NYE... We're extremely isolated here - the only folks we know are his (sort of unstable) brother, and whoever I've met through my super-part time job. Lovely people, not folks I'd like to count on for emergency help or emotional support. I think I was mostly concerned about the prospect of me being here with a newborn, in the winter, with no transportation and him working 45 min away...Seems like a recipe for extreme depression.

I've been pretty gung ho since the beginning to move back to the city we left - better job opportunities, gyms with pools, mom & tots groups, and *jazz hands* friends(!!). He's been a little more reserved about the move - would prefer to be next to the ocean.
All of a sudden, after a long conversation with my mom, we decided to pack up all we own in our station wagon, put my notice in at work and head back out west. We figure it would be easier to do before our LO gets here. We don't actually have a place to move to, or jobs for when we get there, but we have friends to stay with in the meantime, and we are familiar with the city.

Added to this, I feel like I'm gaining a tonne of weight (bit of a sensitive issue for me...) and the Dr. I'm leaving was very unconcerned about weight gain (24 lbs at 22 wks) since everything else looks fabulous. I have been totally unmotivated to get any exercise or eat healthy (I think maybe I've ben fairly depressed since being here, with no friends the past few months - haven't really had anyone other than DP to share this pregnancy with, or any reason to leave the house - sounds awful, but it's true...).I'm terrified that I will end up having to go to a Dr. who is going to give me all kinds of hell about gaining too much weight. I'm nervous about finding a job obviously pregnant.

On the bright side, after the move, I will have better access to healthy food (more than 1 grocery store where we're going, and way better prices!), we will have more $ (eventually, after finding work), I have friends, and particularly one who is eager to start swimming with me regularly, the health care is better, etc.

It's just hard in my mind, to get from where we are to where we're going. We are leaving in 4 days.

I feel better having written it all out. Sorry for the long, whiny post.

[Jackies]

You've got the courage to make a big change since you've done it before. That's the most important part. Just really cling to all those positive things about the move. Maybe write a list and post it on your dashboard.

It doesn't sound like you've gained too much weight. I've gained about 20 at 23 weeks. Plus keep in mind that breastfeeding is a weight-loss secret weapon.

Keep us posted

[Anilia]

I can imagine what your going through!  I just got news that means we are trying to move before the end of the year and it is stressful imagining being in a place I don't know anyone with a newborn.  I think you'll be so much happier back where you know people and feel like you know what is going on.  Keep that positive list on auto play in your mind, just like Jackies said!

And really- don't worry about the weight.  I gained 40lbs with my first and by the time I was 6 months pp I was at my high school weight.  Breastfeeding transfers that weight from you to baby, ounce by ounce! 

[Clarasmama]

I'm at about 19 pounds at 22 weeks and I was thinking "hey I'm doing better this time!" ha! Seriously though, that's a whole bunch of change right in the middle of pregnancy. It sounds like you're going somewhere safe though, with friends and family, and that makes having a baby much easier if that's what makes you feel comfortable!

Ask around for practitioners when you get into town, do a ton of visits to find someone you click with, and go from there! You haven't gained too much weight, so don't worry about that at all

[organicviolin]

You'll be a ok! You're going where the support it. That's the main thing. It will all work out as it's meant to.

[MandaWilliams]

The biggest issue I had was making the best decisions for my baby AND my guy/me. I am up North with my very supportive family and friends. He is in Louisiana still. Having support is the most important thing for your child. I hope this move gives your whole family what it needs. I think it's harder for a guy to understand the compromises that are needed with a child. It's not growing inside of them. But, my guy seems to be coming around, finally. I hope your husband gets more comfortable with the move as you grow. He can't argue once you have the baby and there are friends around to help out! Good luck!
 

[fairyswizzle]

Thanks for all the kind words

We're on the road now, and it all seems a little less daunting now that we're in the middle of it.

The next chapter will be even better than the one we've just finished, I'm sure!

The bright side of this heinous weight gain (30 lbs, 24 wks...WHAT?? How is this even possible?!) is I actually look adorably pregnant now (albeit,a bit "beachball-ish"). I'm trying to embrace all delightful developments that this pregnancy brings....after all, the light at the end of this tunnel is a sweet, adorable, delicious baby..

Again, it's wonderful to have some support

Thank you! Thank you!

[Pogo0685]

I am glad things are going better for you!

[fairyswizzle]

*Warm home, snowy nights, finally unpacked and on the way to being settled! This big change was a great change! Have a great doctor, great hospital, decent place to live and lots of caring creatures in my life. Swoon...Game on, baby! We're almost ready for this to happen!*

Thanks for listening ladies! Your kind words have to my stressed out self have made this process so much easier!