GD with a lot of little ones

[kchara]

My husband and I are really working hard to get more gentle and positive in our parenting.  A problem I'm running into (or that is just my life, I guess) is that I have 4 children who are 5 and down (5, 3, 3, and 1).  Everything I read seems to be directed to people with 1 or two, MAYBE 3 kids.  Sitting down and explaining every single reason I have for something, talking things through with them, it just doesn't seem realistic with us.  It seems like all I do is put out fires.  I don't have any time to play with them, I don't feel like I have any time to bond with them, and then the big kids (11 and 9) start acting out because they're not getting any attention.  I'm reading The Discipline Book by Dr. Sears and Positive Parenting Your Preschooler, but I could really use some BTDT encouragement. 

[Mama Fae]

I don't really have much advice but i just wanted to say that i understand and i will be watching this thread eagerly to see what advice you get. I have 3 children - a 7 year old girl, 5 year old boy and a nearly 3 year old boy who are all (especially the boys) very spirited.

A lot of things i  read about GD seem directed at people with only 1 or 2 kids...usually a toddler and baby.

Sitting down and explaining every single reason I have for something, talking things through with them, it just doesn't seem realistic with us.

These are EXACTLY my thoughts.

Don't mean to hijack your thread....i do understand how you are feeling though :)

[kchara]

Thanks Mama Fae!    It's good to know at least that I'm not alone!!

I know a lot of the behavior problems are my own fault.  We've been a constant state of flux and transition (when it's constant, is it transition anymore, or is it just chaos???) for the past 4 years or so.  Just recently, we had a family explosion and were forced out of where we were staying and forced into a small apartment.  No playground nearby, no way to let off steam, it's driving everyone nuts.  We move again this week into an actual house with a yard, so I know that will help.  Getting the kids active again will be a HUGE HUGE help.  So will being able to cut screen time down again.  We haven't had cable for about 3 years, so our TV was limited to the occassional Netflix.  Now, though, we've got cable, and nothing else to do, so they're watching FAR FAR FAR too much TV, in addition to their computer time (mostly school, but still), and it's showing. 

DH wants me to get into a daily rhythm, too.  Really, I know I have to and it's necessary, but my head starts spinning thinking of everything I NEED to do, and everything I WANT to do...   There's only 24 hours, KWIM?  But, I know once we are in a rhythm, we'll all be much better off, and it will get easier. 
 

[Juvysen]

Originally Posted by Mama Fae 

I don't really have much advice but i just wanted to say that i understand and i will be watching this thread eagerly to see what advice you get. I have 3 children - a 7 year old girl, 5 year old boy and a nearly 3 year old boy who are all (especially the boys) very spirited.

A lot of things i  read about GD seem directed at people with only 1 or 2 kids...usually a toddler and baby.

These are EXACTLY my thoughts.

Don't mean to hijack your thread....i do understand how you are feeling though :)

I have a 6 1/2 yr old, a 5 yr old and a 2 1/2 yr old the older two are quite spirited and very bright and are basically like little lawyers digging for loopholes in every explanation I have.  Having a 15 minute conversation about why my way is best and then ending with them throwing a fit because they disagree or don't trust my judgement or whatever has NOT been fun.  It just seems wrong that my 2 yr old is the one most likely to work with me on things.  My oldest was fine at age two, too, though (my middle child has sensory issues and had food sensitivities at that age that we had not worked out yet, so he was a challenge). 

My mantra lately (that I borrowed from someone on here, but I'm not sure who) has been, after explaining when the questioning continues, I say "look, I do things for two reasons.  To keep you safe, and to raise you right.  Which one is this?"  I usually let them fill in the "keep you safe" and "raise you right" now that they know the mantra quite well.  Generally it helps them to at least realize that I'm not doing it to be a huge meany-head or something, I guess.  It tends to make my life more livable, which is good because I'm typically close to my witt's end 6 days out of 7, especially now that we're trying to homeschool...