Dingoes Step Into September YMMV - Page 10

[Geofizz]

Doing my GP 5k tonight.

Nik, how's the back?

I loved seeing all the pictures, Jo!  What a party!

Bullying of the sort DD experiences:  http://www.detroitnews.com/article/20120924/METRO/209240341

This is getting a lot of play on facebook today as a "wow, look at this heartwarming story."

I'm struggling to see the positive in this.  I've been experiencing literal flashbacks to my own experiences in middle school these last few weeks.  As in, I'm not simply reminded of memories, but I'm actually reliving them, confusing past and present.  It's scary.  This girl is now named in the national news as unattractive and unpopular.  That will stick.  She's portrayed in the story as pretty clueless, slow to catch onto the prank.  Those perpetrating the prank appear to be getting away with it ("we'll look into it" is something I've heard before).  The boy who is refusing to be associated with her is now highlighting that she is not the type a popular kid should be associated with, and it is taken as ok that he's doing this.

Please convince me I'm wrong.
 

[JayGee]

Ugh, Geo. that whole story leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth. I was bullied like that in HS too, although not quite to that extent. I feel for your DD if this is happening to her already too.

[kerc]

<insert exasperated scream>

that is all.
 

[bec]

Mine didn't wait till high school, but started in 8th grade.  Ugh, ugh, ugh! 

[Geofizz]

Things started in 4th for me, peaked in 7th, and didn't go away until I left the country for a year after high school.  My flashbacks have me suddenly understanding descriptions I read of soldiers with PTSD as I literally relive it watching DD experience it.

[JayGee]

Originally Posted by Geofizz 

Things started in 4th for me, peaked in 7th, and didn't go away until I left the country for a year after high school.  My flashbacks have me suddenly understanding descriptions I read of soldiers with PTSD as I literally relive it watching DD experience it.

Ugh....

[poppywise]

Kerc - the place I go to for ART is not a PT place, but yes they are very geared towards runners. It's called Innersport and they work on a lot of the Cal athletes, etc. I really feel better going there but since it is not a straight up PT place, I thought I would check out the PT referral and see what else I could garner from it. Bah. Feeling lost.

Plady - you're on, sister. I agree I need some sort of alarm to keep me on it.

ETA: Geo - all of it makes my stomach hurt with memories of all that crap. Mine was bad 4th-7th also. UGH.

[Shantimama]

I did my Griffin 'run' today wile working - 8 hours on my feet running up and down stairs and all over the place. My h is away in France for two weeks so no time to get out on my own this morning and I knew my feet and legs would be too sore by tonight so I dedicated all of my steps today to Griffin and the other little ones who have gone     

[modmom]

Originally Posted by Geofizz 

Things started in 4th for me, peaked in 7th, and didn't go away until I left the country for a year after high school.  My flashbacks have me suddenly understanding descriptions I read of soldiers with PTSD as I literally relive it watching DD experience it.

 Geofizz

Look into EMDR therapy for you.  I am in training for this amazing therapy right now.  Raising our children often stirs up old stuff and gives us opportunities to heal.  Good things are ahead for you girl, I can tell she has an amazing mom.

sorry to only pop in like this but I'm always reading along and wishing the best to the dingos.

[tjsmama]

I did my Griffin run on Saturday as part of my 1/2. Good thing, too, because I completely failed to run today. I'm pretending that the 4+ hour nap I took was "listening to my body" and not "ignoring marathon training". In my defense, I'm on call from 11-7 tonight, and it's looking likely that I'll get called in, so I really did need that nap.

[Plady]

Geo - Ugh. I only hope that this girl isn't as smart as you and doesn't notice the subtleties.  And I hope that once the media frenzy wanders to the next human interest story she isn't left in a worse position.

Griffin Patrick 4k done.  I had a really nice walk with my dad and my dogs.  It made me realize that that alone would be a good addition to my routine.  I definitely don't walk enough!

Speaking of middle school ickiness; C's best friend from last year has completely abandoned her this year, despite (or because?) they are in the same classroom and on the same soccer team.  C is so heartbroken and I have no answers for her about why.  There was no fight, no nothing, it seems like the girl just woke up one day and decided that she no longer knew C.  Now I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop when it spreads to other kids too. These poor kids!  Maybe we could make Camp Dingo for this coming summer, all these middle schoolers (and earlier!!!) and their moms are going to need a safe place to decompress.
 

[Plady]

Sorry for serial posting, in case anyone is interested in the fizzy water maker deal that popped up on Living Social today, here's a link to get one too.  I know, shameless of me, but if any of you might get one too I could get my $ back for the one I bought this morning!  

[sparkletruck]

Posting a bike 60 min./run 22 min this a.m. in memory of Griffin and all the babies born too soon or in silence

[sparkletruck]

Also, Poppy, the first thing I thought when you described your pain was "hip alignment" and that you really should see a PT. I agree w/ that. But in addition, there's always body maintenance to focus on.... on finding what you need!

[tjsmama]

Making lemons from lemonade here! I got called in last night, and made almost enough money to pay for my new car battery. Yay! I got sent home at 4 am, which is just a weird time to go home. Too early to send the nanny home, too late to go to sleep for 2-3 hours before getting DS up and ready for school. It was one of the few times I was wishing I belonged to 24 hr fitness. I decided to go to the Y to be there when they opened at 5, and it was a good decision. I got a 30 minute run on the hamster wheel, then hit spin class where we did hard interval tabata stuff for an hour, and I learned that they do pilates on Tuesday mornings after class, so I did 15 minutes of pilates! I got 90+ minutes of working out in and was home just in time to see DS finishing his cereal (and the nanny finishing packing his lunch, woohoo). Shockingly, he was ready early enough to ride the bus, so I walked him over to the bus stop and sent him on his way (and met a mom of a kiddo in DS's class who is also a nurse, cool). Home in time to take a shower, post to dailymile and MDC while sipping some rooibos tea, and head to bed before 9 am. I call that a successful start to my day.

[Plady]

Wow Gaye!  What a morning! 

Trying to do something like lemonade here too.  Our fridge/freezer stopped being cold and I discovered all our frozen stuff mostly or totally defrosted when I was looking for ice for my post-boxing shake.  I made some blackberry jam and have a banana bread in the oven.  The meat we just threw into the other freezer and hopefully it won't be too gross when we use it.  I was just super bummed that all sorts of fruit defrosted.  What to do with strawberries?  I have to be somewhere in an hour.

[Nickarolaberry]

Hi mamas,

Sorry for lack of personals. I will try to get back to them tomorrow night. I've had a good few running days and am starting to feel better physically. HOpefully it will continue.

Heading into our 25 hour fast this evening at twilight, until tomorrow after dark. If I have offended, hurt, insulted, distressed, or otherwise caused any kind of suffering to any of my Dingo friends I beg your indulgence and forgiveness.

[revolting]

Geo - Sorry the teasing has been so horrible!

Nic - Glad your niece and sister are doing well.

AFM: With moving and the extensive work the house requires before we move that we've been doing, I haven't done a great job keeping up on the running, but hopefully I'll finish week 5 of couck 2 5k tonight!
 

[tjsmama]

Originally Posted by tjsmama 

Making lemons from lemonade here!

Can you tell I had been up all night? Sheesh...

[Realrellim]

Originally Posted by tjsmama 

Can you tell I had been up all night? Sheesh...

So if I didn't catch that until you posted it, does that mean I'm up too late?

Geo--I guess I'm of a couple of minds on the story. On the one hand, I think it will do a lot for her future to see all these adults rally around her with stories about how this kind of thing stinks, but that it also happened to a lot of people and it didn't stop them from being successful. OTOH, I see what you mean about it essentially agreeing that she's unpopular or whatever, but it also sounds like she would agree with that assessment. I'm not sure that's terrible for her. I mean, I'd completely agree, without question, that I was unpopular and not particularly attractive in junior high and high school (at least freshman year)--and honestly, I considered those things to be the least of my problems. I knew I was unpopular and was fine with it, but I wasn't fine with people going out of their way to be mean. And I was fine with not being all that attractive, mostly because I was rather clueless about it all, and more than a little bit scornful of the girls who just wanted to talk about makeup and doing their hair. I was never nearly as gullible as that girl though, but I do remember those kinds of tricks. There were times people would pick me for their team or something and try to fool me into pretending they liked me, but I knew better, rolled my eyes and it backfired because now they had to work with me and they didn't even get the fun they hoped for.

For me, the nastiness started in 3rd grade, got a bit better in 4th-6th and things really went downhill in junior high, mostly because one of the few people I could count on to not make fun of me and sit with me at lunch moved. (This person was also my second-cousin, so she had some obligation...and thinking about that really underscores just how freakin' unpopular I was.) After that I sat alone or with the other handful of wildly unpopular kids. By freshman year I just sat alone most of the time, reading a book, or with a couple of slightly older misfits. Somehow, all the unpopularity didn't stop me from running for student council treasurer in 7th grade. Do I even need to say that I lost? Duh. We all had to give a speech in front of the whole grade (whole school? you'd think I'd remember this), and I'd been stupid enough to write a real speech. People started talking after about five sentences. By then I knew I was going to lose so I ignored the talking and finished it and walked away with my head up feeling glad I'd done it even if it was just more fodder for teasing. I think the teachers felt sorry for me but were reasonably impressed that I refused to be cowed by it all. Or maybe they just felt sorry for me. Hmmm. In any case, when I was the valedictorian in 8th grade, there was a great deal of satisfaction in knowing that those students who talked over my speech in 7th grade were going to sit quietly in their chairs and listen to my speech at graduation because they didn't have a choice. Ha! And because I was the shortest and we were arranged by height, I also got to lead the entire class in and out of the gym too. Double ha! And then we moved to a new district sophomore year, I learned to use a bit of makeup, do my hair properly and stop dressing terribly (it was the '80s but I had really, really bad taste) and best of all, ended up at a school with enough kids like me that I wasn't some sort of geeky freak.

If anything would have helped back then, it would have been to meet the older versions of me/us--like the Dingos of 1987 or something--and to know that I'd come out of it all being more self-assured and confident. And that the confidence would help when faced with the same crap in the adult world. Did I mention that at the last board meeting I attended, I had to walk past some members of the opposition who were talking in the parking lot, in their cars to get to my car, and that as I passed they got really loud and yelled out my name along with some clear parody of what I'd said at the board meeting? Yeah, that was a flashback to junior high. It was also an of "seriously" combined with some real fear that they were in large trucks and I was on foot and also, what if they decided to block my car in. (Then I remember that duh, there are sheriff's deputies right there in the building and I could call 911. It's good to be an adult!) One has since contacted me via one of my sockpuppet emails to thank me for blocking her on twitter and FB. 'Course, I'm not on FB, so that was easy. (And yes, I blocked several people on twitter months ago because they have become social media bullies. One put up a nasty video of someone I know speaking at the meeting with speech bubbles over her head making fun of her. I haven't seen it 'cause I'm not going to help their rating on youtube, but I heard about it. She was understandably upset. I think I show up in at least one of their videos from the meeting, but I haven't looked to see if they messed with it. Nor will I.)

What concerns me most for your daughter is the social media contribution to bullying. On the other hand, social media can get her a tribe, and she needs a tribe--whether virtual or otherwise. It makes sooooo much difference in being able to brush off the rest of it. Too bad it's too late in the season for a Dingo camping trip.

Are there things we might be able to do to help her? Have you asked her what she'd fix about her current social situation and in what order if she could? Or how we could support her?