Dingoes Step Into September YMMV - Page 11

[Geofizz]

Thanks for your thoughts.  I think I'm increasingly bothered by two bits of that article -- (1) the boy refusing to go to the dance isn't apparently bearing any repercussions, and (2) it will be forever googleable whenever you search the girl's name.  I have less problem with her agreeing she's unpopular and unattractive than folks unquestioning acceptance of that statement.  And since when does wearing make up = attractive?  Grrr.

DD is a similar kid, often needing to be told that how others are treating her isn't a game.  We work on personal appearance daily:  go to school wearing clothes that fit, lack stains or tears, and do your hair in such a way it stays neat all day.  It pains me greatly that to get her to actually comply, I've had to say "people judge you on your appearance."  It's not the message I want her to internalize, but then again, she needs to present something that looks neat at a minimum.  When the "people judge you" message fell on deaf ears, I had to say that her teachers and friends did so as well.  While it hurt her greatly, it was also clear she wasn't getting appropriate teaching from her classroom teacher last year because her teacher was judging her on her appearance. 

Thankfully, we have a teacher 10000x better this year.  DD brought the latest issue of Sci Am to school to proudly show her teacher what she's been reading.  Last year, that would have been "bragging."

I have an easier time as an adult with the kind of behavior you've seen with the school levy issue.  (but holy cow that's appalling) My standard line is "I left 7th grade a long time ago."  Generally by the time the person I've said it to figures it out, I'm long gone.

I also missed the lemons/lemonade confusion.  Honestly, though, wouldn't it be quite the trick if you could make lemons from lemonade?

[Mel38]

Oh, Lisa, can I just say that I admire your composure in the face of that immature, mean-spirited, very personal attacks on you and those of your camp. This is exactly why I can't voice my opinions on things publicly, because those kinds of things would haunt me. I do think you are a strong person for still getting out there and saying what you think.

Frankly, the article bothers me, too. While it's great/hearwarming that the community has rallied around her, it's still disturbing me that the kids are so callous and hurtful in their sport of putting others down, and then the whole thing becomes the talk of the town. Frankly, I wouldn't want my child to be that girl, no matter how gracefully she has handled it. It's just all very catty and negative.

OK, my run yesterday was just a comedy of errors - I will spare you the details, but suffice it to say that I am really hoping very strongly that AF does not coincide with my first ever marathon on Oct. 28, because I would be Is there anything short of BCP that can be done to influence these things? I *think* I should be on the safe side at 31 days.

[Geofizz]

♪ "Oh what a difference, a year makes" ♪

Social struggles aren't gone, anxiety isn't gone, learning disabilities (or massive gaps left from 1st and 2nd grade) not gone, but Oh, what a difference a teacher makes.

Email from DD's teacher about a poem she wrote:  "The best articulation of the night sky I have ever read from a student (or adult, for that matter?).  I just watched the words come out of her head, onto the paper.  I really like the use of "rift" to describe the transition from night to day.  With your permission, I will submit this to Stonesoup."

This is a child who produces an average of 1-2 words a minute during free writing time.

The poem in question is 6 lyrical couplets about night transitioning to day, written in 10 minutes.  (Can you tell we're a family of early risers?)

[Shantimama]

Ugh - dd spilled hot cocoa on her chin in the weekend and has a terrible burn there   We are taking good care of it but I hope it heals without a trace.

So every time h leaves, major appliances break down. In the past we have had issues with toilets, the furnace and the stove. This week? I opened the dishwasher to add something and it looked like the 4th of July or Canada Day in there. Water and sparks flying everywhere are not my favourite combination so I called someone in who took one look and disconnected it immediately! Now we have a new dishwasher in and the washing machine is acting up. It is a lot newer than the dishwasher was so I am trying to convince it to get its $%^* together.

The other thing that always happens when h goes away for more than a few days is I do a major clean/purge. This time it meant that the dollhouse got packed away as my kids don't even look at it any more after over a decade of the dollhouse family being an extension of our family. Why do they grow up so fast?   The up side is this led to some furniture rearranging on my part and for the first time I actually have a corner of the house that is mine alone - a little desk, all of my school, spiritual direction, yarn business and Enjo stuff - if I could fit a bed in here it would be perfect! 

[sparkletruck]

Why is it that the DD who qualified for full Gifted instruction cannot tell me what a work in her class is meant to teach 3 minutes after she JUST TOLD ME!? And why does she then have a full on stamping sobbing melt-down. wtf! Do I really need to tape-record our conversations when we have writing conferences b/c she cannot retain an idea for 3 minutes! (yes, I am patient today )


RR: none today. Weight circuit yesterday. I was tired (up a lot with sick dd2 for the past few nights) but wanted to do it. Turned into me pushing reallly hard even as I felt sort of wasted. In the end I felt kind of

Gaye - ... speaking of I personally like to make lemons out of lemonade; see above

[Plady]

Originally Posted by sparkletruck 

Gaye - ... speaking of I personally like to make lemons out of lemonade; see above

[Realrellim]

Go sparkle go!

Geo--that's great. Having a supportive teacher makes a great deal of difference too. As far as makeup and attractive--sorry--I was thinking of myself. At the time, just a little mascara and lip balm and spending the time to keep my hair from looking like it'd been in a windstorm at the end of the day all went together. Today, makeup is the difference between me looking healthy or dead. On at least two different days when I think I skipped the makeup, I was mistaken for J's grandmother. (Then again, most people sleep more than 4 hours a night.) My sister's never worn makeup and she's quite attractive even when sleep-deprived.

RR: a whopping 1 mile on the treadmill, in between swim lessons for J and running to Costco and picking up R at school. J's going through a phase where she doesn't want to be in the jogger. Or maybe it's a phase where she wants to be in the car because she has a new car seat? The car seat has a drink holder and two storage areas for her stuff, so that may be the attraction. At any rate when I tried to talk her into a run it failed, again, and then when arrived at Costco she told me she'd been getting really angry at me for suggesting that we go running. She fell asleep after Costco, so I unpacked, left her in the car seat and fit in my 10 minutes.

NRR: R's choir sang the National Anthem at the Rockies game tonight. We took the bus downtown because the route takes us right by Coors Field, got her situated and then found our seats in the nosebleed section. The stadium was probably 80 percent empty, so it was ironic that we were stuck all the way up there. DH met us by car, so then we walked a much longer distance to where he was parked (for $13!!!!) and headed back. It was a 6:40 game and they were still playing when I got home from handbells at 9, so I don't regret our decision. Usually they sing during the summer, and I'd be happy to stay for a game then.

On crazy junior high people: the person I mentioned earlier managed to get herself arrested at a Romney event recently. She likes Romney but has issues with law enforcement. And laws. I wonder if she'll turn up at the first debate too.

[bec]

Dingo summer camp!!!!!  Yes, yes, yes!!!!!

I have had to tell Katie that people will make fun of her if she x,y,z.  Like, letting her nose drip, or having food dripping down her chin, things like that.  It is not fun, and she doesn't get it.  She, often does not see that kids are making fun of her (she had a good friend last year that could see those subtleties and would coach her through it, telling her to ignore whatever comment, because it was mean), but it cuts to my core to see people treating her like that.  Thankfully, we have not had much of that this year.  She is doing well socially, has a couple of good friends to have lunch with, and is getting along well with the cross country team (they are really a nice bunch of kids, which helps).  I am a bit worried about Emily's class.  Emily is more socially savvy, but there are some seriously mean girls in her year.  I don't look forward to what they will look like when they get into full jr. high queen bee swing (they are in 4th right now).  Girl Scouts has gone a pretty good distance to building up the kids' self esteem, giving them a peer group that looks down on that sort of thing as a general policy and making it a little easier to deal with the day to day viciousness that school provides. 

On another school related note, Katie's math struggles continue.  I am more convinced than ever that she has dyscalculia.  Not entirely sure what to do about it, and if anything we could do would be different from the things we already are doing (IEP, special ed math, accommodations, etc.).  She brought home a packet of extra credit work for science class filled with metric conversions (km to m, mg to g, that sort of thing).  Just moving that pesky decimal point around.  But, it might as well have been moon language to her.  It took about 5 hours of effort (on her and my part) to get her to a point where she was consistently able to read the conversion chart I found (that was yesterday, who knows what she can do today), and we did not get even half way through the packet (which, admittedly, was pretty big, being 10 double sided sheets).  I have an email into the science teacher asking for more time to do this (something they have to give as per her IEP) and I'm going to talk to them about letting her bring the conversion chart into any test that she may have on this material (again something that is already in her IEP), because there is no way that she will be able to do this in her head. 

GP 5k - I did not run, and had a cold in the early part of the week that pretty much flattened me.  So, I have been dedicating the rest of my week in honor of Griffin and all those born too soon.  Had a good brick workout yesterday with tri class.  A swim (first time in the water in a few months, and boy did I suffer for THAT!) and a spin.  Then, up early this morning to spin class!

[Plady]

Morning mamas,

I had a good (very hard) (lots of squats)  (ouch) boxing today.  I'm so glad it's Thursday.

Bec - I had one of those I-can't-believe-I-have-to-spell-this-out conversations with dd just this morning.  Her bf made it clear yesterday that it was over and so of course C was feeling pretty bad about it this morning but I told her she was going to have to pretend that she was totally fine and happy while at school.  My reasoning is that she needs to reach out to the other kids to be friends now but they are going to stay away if she seems angry or depressed and maybe even think xbf had the right idea in dropping her.  She really didn't want to hear it but I'm crossing my fingers that she's trying it, it could be another long hard year if this is how it's starting.

Geo - That teacher sounds like a true Godsend.  What a star to see your dd for who she is.

Shanti - Ugh for broken appliances!  I hate having to remember how much I appreciate the machines in my house that I prefer to take for granted!   I hope your dd's chin is already all better. 

Sparkle - Thanks for the reminder about arnica!  I haven't had to take it too often but I haven't had to take any Vit. I!  That's a big improvement!

Okay, time to get back to work here.
 

[bec]

Well, I got a reply back from the science teacher.  He says he will give Katie full credit on what she has done, and partial credit on whatever she turns in later.  He said that this would be the most fair to the other students.  This makes me want to cry.  I'm trying to figure out how fair it is that she spends over 5 hours on completing 40% of the assignment that it takes the other kids probably around 30 minutes to complete.  But, she keeps at it, never gives up, never lets it stop her, and only rarely gets her down (usually because we are losing patience in trying to figure out how to explain it to her).  She's penalized enough by having to spend most of her day off of school doing homework.  Ugh!

[tjsmama]

Lisa, I like geo's response. It is totally junior high, and so sad that people can't see how immaturely they are acting.

bec~If she has an IEP that allows for extra time, how can he not give her the extra time without penalizing her?

On homework issues, I feel the pain. DS has issues with focusing. When he wants to, he gets stuff done. Period. If he doesn't want to, it can take an hour to write down five book titles. No joke. And I feel like I pretty much did his writing homework for him the past two days. It was written down by him, but the brainstorming, the ideas, the process were (very strongly) driven by me. Bah. And we're only in first grade here, people.

Against part of my better judgment, I think we're going to try cub scouts this year. I have some rather obvious philosophical objections to the organization, but I'm hoping that for the younger kids, the good outweighs the bad. Their membership year is March through February, so if we join now, we can always opt out at the end of the year. We shall see, I guess.

Work is still crazy. So far so good on not getting called in for my four hour call shift tonight (before my regular 8 hour shift), but I got called in last night for my four hour call and I was the third one to be called in. It's nuts. On the bright side, the new car battery is paid for with some $ to spare and put toward the zillion and one other things that I need to pay off. On the not-so-bright side, I had already worked 9 hours of call and had a 4 hour class before I even go in for my three regular shifts this week.

rr~One more long run closer to NYC! I got my 18 miler in this morning. It wasn't pretty, but it wasn't terrible. I purposely set out to keep a slow and steady pace for the first half, solely in the hope of survival. I started walking the "aid stations" each mile after the turnaround, and only had a couple of other walk breaks, so that wasn't too bad. My left quad and IT band were a hot mess the last few miles, which resulted in some major shuffling at the end, but sadly, it felt better to shuffle than to walk, so shuffle I did. My friend Hilary seriously needs to run a marathon. She, who had never run further than 13.1 before she started training with me, literally ran circles around me the second half. She would pull away and then loop back for me, repeat ad infinitum. her final tally? 19.7 miles. Girlfriend is a natural. I love her and I hate her. I am quite sore, but have ice bathed and foam rolled and may take the stick into work with me tonight. And since it appears (so far at least) that I'm not going to have to go in till 11, I may even get a quick nap in once DS is in bed.

[bec]

My guess is that he doesn't realize she has an IEP, and/or hasn't read it, and/or doesn't realize that it can apply to him.  There was nothing specifying that these accommodations were only for math class.  The thing that gets me is that I'm not asking for her not to do the work.  Just to allow her a reasonable amount of time, given her issues.  What I'm not sure about is whether this should be my mountain to die on.  On the other hand, I really want to set a very strong precedent of following her IEP, and helping her to be successful!  Frankly, I don't give a rat's ass how the other students perceive it.  They shouldn't be involved with her grades and work anyway!

[Geofizz]

Bec, followvup with a directi quote from the IEP, cc'd to the principal and her intervention specialist. He can only give document accommodations he knows about.

[bec]

Good point.  I did cc her intervention specialist, but will also follow up with her. 

[Realrellim]

bec--Yes to what Geo said. A meeting of the various people on your education team and the science teacher might also be in order so everyone can be on the same page.

If he hasn't had much experience with IEPs, he might not be familiar with managing accommodations. I don't know what the situation looks like in the public schools, but I know at my university they've made great strides from the early accommodations of a decade ago that gave no information about how to implement the accommodations (and snippy comments if one actually called the disabilities office to try and figure how this was supposed to work) to the current situation that gives a structure and suggestions. In some cases, the accommodations include a contract that both the instructor and student negotiate and sign so everyone has the same understanding of the accommodations and expectations (usually in cases where the accommodation is "don't penalize the student for not attending and allow student to turn in work late").

tjsmama-- to your 18 miles.

RR: still none. It's very weird for it to be Thursday night and have run a total of 1 mile this week. I'm hoping to make it up in a 5/5/6 series Fri-Sun.

NRR: keep my nephew (and my sister!) in your thoughts and prayers please. They had to increase his oxygen and were thinking about giving him antibiotics as a precaution because he was restless. I'm assuming it's just part of the 2 steps forward 1 step back process, but my sister apparently spent her entire NICU visit in tears, again. They wouldn't let her do kangaroo care this time either, which probably flipped her out even more. Still, they have a long road ahead.

[Plady]

Real - Sending fresh prayers to your little nephew and family.  Not being allowed to kangaroo must sound like worst-case scenario news, even if it isn't. 

Gaye - From what I've seen of first grade boys that attention span sounds about right.  I know that here the teachers in the early grades (heck, even now in 5th grade) give a suggested time for homework to take and if it keeps going longer they say to just skip it and talk to them as there are diminishing returns pretty quickly.  Maybe his teacher can recommend how long to spend or perhaps she has some interesting consequences in class for those who get their work done and for those who don't?  In any case I'd hope that the teacher would prefer you two to spend your time together doing something better than fighting over book titles.

Bec - I hope that the teacher can see your point pretty quickly when reminded of the IEP.  I hate that you and Geo have to face these battles freshly every September!

[kerc]

Remember this?

Quote:

Originally Posted by kerc 

<insert exasperated scream>

that is all.

Yeah. That's one kid with scarlet fever and a bad mouth rash. One vehicle needing a clutch ($880). One vehicle needing a new transmission ($4500). slight cold.  Husband with cold. Payday is Monday.

<ok wait, husband with cold might just be enough to say>

Repair vehicle with clutch issues. Works. But spendy. Yay!

Take kid to see naturopath who says mouth rash could be a host of things: food sensitivity, toxicity in her bloodstream that likely was built up stuff she got from me before birth, could be she has the bacteria that causes ulcers. Draw blood to start with food sensitivity. Add more supplements. Spend $545 not covered by medical insurance. But I'm tired enough of dealing with the recurring rash that I just want it gone.

Begin shopping for new car. Pissy husband. Not sure whether I want to go the $25,000 option. Maybe a $5000 car can make it better for at least a year or two. Drive cars. Decide I want to go for the $25,000 option. Then take husband. Who is pissy because he's sick and because he wanted to replace the car with the bad clutch, not the minivan. Insert loads of time. Finally drive off the lot yesterday. Thank goodness.

Now I have a cake to frost, a dress to make, oh and a full time job to tend.

Then insert massive relief.

Originally Posted by bec 

My guess is that he doesn't realize she has an IEP, and/or hasn't read it, and/or doesn't realize that it can apply to him.

I'm guessing as a science teacher he isn't aware that it even WOULD apply.

Originally Posted by Geofizz 

Bec, followvup with a directi quote from the IEP, cc'd to the principal and her intervention specialist. He can only give document accommodations he knows about.

Yes. I give him the benefit of a doubt, but then again maybe he's being a rear end.

Originally Posted by Geofizz 
Thankfully, we have a teacher 10000x better this year.  DD brought the latest issue of Sci Am to school to proudly show her teacher what she's been reading.  Last year, that would have been "bragging."

Well, I can recommend if she's into the sci american -- tuesday's science section of the NY Times.  And brag away. Just be clean and tidy about it. We have loads of conversations about being well-kept with my kiddos. One kid gets it. The other doesn't. But the other is learning. Just because you are disheveled doesn't mean I won't be friendly. But when you look like you slept in your outfit I wonder if you did and if you have time/space in your life for my friendship. Putting yourself together/tidying up your self (and front porch/house) makes people feel like you are available for friendship/conversation and proud of yourself. (and as my 7 yr old pointed out: When you get on the bus for the first time and look for a kid to sit with, it makes them want to sit with you if your cereal is not still all over your face). LOL.

Ok. Now I'm trying hard to get back to normal.

[Geofizz]

Originally Posted by kerc Just because you are disheveled doesn't mean I won't be friendly. But when you look like you slept in your outfit I wonder if you did and if you have time/space in your life for my friendship. Putting yourself together/tidying up your self (and front porch/house) makes people feel like you are available for friendship/conversation and proud of yourself.

Come be my parenting tutor.  Please.  That's brilliant.  Perfectly expressed.

New cars are always stress.  Sorry to hear you had the perfect storm.  Now here's to many, many years in that car without trouble.

Bec, all teachers are supposed to read the IEPs, but I'm learning many do not, particularly as you get to higher grades.  Start by assuming he hasn't read it (though gently, you don't want to accuse him of not having read it, because it's his job), and go from there. 

Gaye, on homework, it helps to ritualize it.  Always in the same spot, at the same time, after the same snack.  Homework is done in our house earlier rather than later (certainly not within an hour of bedtime).  My OT friend also recommends a quick massage of the arms, hand, back, and head before starting.  It really works!  I've taken to taking DS' head and just squeezing it.   Also, the acts of writing and the process of coming up with something to write are two different things.  If you need to take the writing act and the figuring out what to write act apart, do so.  If you've got the feature on your phone, you should be able to record and playback easily as well.  Have him record what he wants to say, then he can play it back as many times as he wants while he writes it down.

We also did cub scouts this year with our noses held.  DS is liking it and making friends, which were the goals.  Mostly on the making friends.  He needs those.  This won't be a long-term deal as DH reports that it gives him the heebie jeebies.

[kerc]

I love you Geo but no, I cannot come to central Ohio.

I've got enough bullying in my current workplace to even have the slimmest of chances of running into my old bully who works at yours.

Thank goodness I found this circle of women who can surround me and remind me that it isn't me. (see the first line there?  I'm sticking up for myself. Yay me!)

On scouting:

My friend here started an "adventure club" for her oldest in lieu of scouts once girl scouts got too catty for her to deal with. They called about 10 kids, shoot for getting together once a month and go on an authentic adventure (rowing, kayaking, rock wall climbing, xc skiing, etc.).
 

And thank you universe!

My husband just nailed down 2/3 of his work schedule for next spring. It looks like he will continue to have loads of work. (which eases my mind about borrowing for a car for mucho dollars).

[Geofizz]

Pssst, a certain bully will retire June 30, 2014.  Just sayin.