I had had a tiny bit of extremely light, brown spotting almost every day for a week+, and I was, at that point, 8w1d. My MWs (by phone, as I hadn't even had a "real" appointment yet) had already advised me that the spotting (which was really incredibly light) could have any number of non-problematic causes, in addition to scary ones. They also noted that if I were m/c, there's nothing that could be done, so it was really up to me whether to have an u/s. I decided to wait. At 8w1d (Good Friday-- and I had planned to tell my families that weekend at Easter and Passover), I had some bright red spotting, as opposed to the brownish stuff I had been having. It was still very light, but it made me anxious, and I decided I wanted an u/s. My MW got on the phone and got me an appointment THAT day (she's amazing) with a MFM place literally within walking distance. DH came home from work and went with me.
The transvaginal u/s showed a 6w-6w2d yolk sac with maybe a tiny fetal pole... no heartbeat. The OB, who was actually pretty awesome (I'm sure that's why my MWs even have a relationship with him), said that if my dates were off, everything might be fine (you don't always see a hb until 7-8 weeks). He agreed it "didn't look great," but also that it could go either way, and didn't want to recommend any course of action until I came back a week (actually 6 days) later and confirmed growth or no growth. (They should really clone this guy-- I've heard way too many OBs just recommend a D&C at this same point.) Now, I was devastated, because I was really, really sure of my dates, and even on the extreme low end had to be at least 7w5d. I held out hope, but let me tell you-- those 6 days of waiting were h3ll.
The worst week of my life.
As luck would have it, DH had some use-it-or-lose-it days off in addition to the weekend, and actually was home with me (I work from home) for 5 of those 6 days. And thank G-d for that!! But it was still sheer torture. Two nights before the confirmation u/s, I had a very strongly prophetic dream, wherein I really felt G-d was speaking to me. He said I would lose that baby, but that I would get pregnant again within 6 weeks and the baby would be fine and would look like DH (bonus-- b/c DH was the World's Cutest Baby-- no lie).
I nearly had a panic attack in the MFM waiting room at 9w, thinking about how my life could be decided either way, how it all hinged on that one moment... and sure enough, the u/s showed no change at all. Bad news. Again, the quite-fantastic OB just gave me the pros and cons of D&C vs. m/c naturally at home, but made no specific recommendation. Luckily (in a sense), I started bleeding "for real" (more like a period, not just spotting) the next day. It took about a week of bleeding/passing clots, and then the bulk of my uterine contents/sac/etc... and then a little more bleeding for another week, up until the point I'd have been about 11w pregnant. I was very fortunate not to need a D&C nor suffer any complications of m/c.
As you know, the dream I had has come true so far. I got pregnant again within two tries-- conceived exactly 5w6d after I stopped bleeding.
I will tell you this, though: I totally regret that first u/s.
The silver lining was that I knew what to expect once I had the second u/s... The "real" bleeding at 9w1d was actually welcomed (as I didn't want a D&C), instead of possibly panicking me. But the week of torture was just that-- torture. The viewing of those disheartening u/s really sucked. And nothing I did actually changed the course of what happened, nor could it have.
This is a big part of the reason I decided to decline doppler with this pregnancy-- especially the first one, which would have been done at 11 weeks. I have only minimal concerns about the effect of u/s (including doppler) on the baby, but I knew that there was a decent chance the MW would hear nothing, yet everything would be fine (per my previous comment to you)... and it was not worth the tsurris (worry, trouble). Especially as there would be nothing I could do anyway, and if there were something wrong, it's very, very likely I would be having symptoms, such as spotting, which I didn't.
I know your situation is not the same as mine. It's not. You are a bit further along, etc., etc.-- for one, it's much less likely that they will recommend a wait-and-see approach if, G-d forbid, there is no heartbeat. If you have lost the babe, it's possible that a D&C would be more advisable if it was further along in development. Not exactly the same scenario as mine.
I only offer my experience as it might be something that triggers your own thoughts and feelings one way or the other.
My thoughts on "closure" are that you will get closure, one way or the other... if that makes sense. It's up to you which course you choose-- and of course, we're all praying that this is a subchorionic (sp?) bleed, etc., and baby is fine-- which you will also know in time, either way. There are pros to the u/s, certainly... I guess I'm just saying only you will be able to answer how necessary it is for "closure," and whether that closure is worth the possible negatives that may come with seeing the u/s.
FWIW, I got a third u/s with the previous pregnancy at about 9w6d, thinking I had passed the sac, and saw only a deflated sac, which meant I had bled a lot but not passed it. A couple days later, I passed a ton of clots, etc., including what was more clearly the sac. My bleeding leveled off and I never did get another u/s to "confirm" this. Peed on a stick for a while until I no longer got lines, and that was my closure, I guess.
I wish the very, very best for you in this difficult time! Feel free to ask me any questions.