I think this has been going on 3 years?
She's 17 y.o, and a senior in high school. I'd say 7th through mid-11th grades were just a blur of stress for her. Her first boyfriend-relationship fizzled really painfully, but she handled the next two much better. She's still friendly with both of them.
She had a difficult time making boundaries with one boy. She enjoyed talking with him about Life, the Universe and Everything, but he was in love with her and got angry and weird when she got together with boyfriends 2 and 3.
Her best friend is a super smart, straight A's in the honor program girl, and has toured various universities and will probably have few problems getting accepted where ever she applies. Dd was dropped from the Honors program (English and History) her junior year, and that really hurt. She's been comparing herself academically to her brainy friends for years and feels badly that she can't keep up. But- her junior year she got straight As for the first time ever! So, a big hit to her self-esteem followed by a nice boost.
She was in marching band 9th through first half of 11th grade, and band was very intense. Fun a lot of the time, but the band director is acknowledge by a lot of other parents to be a Pill. The band director decided he didn't like her and gave her a hard time. "He gave her a hard time" is going to have to suffice to describe a multifaceted, stressful situation spread out over two and a half school years.
So second semester last year she dropped band and joined choir. She says this was the best decision she made, it's made a huge difference. She says, as bad as she knew it was, she still didn't realize how much the band director was making her dread school every day. She loves her choir teacher, loves not being derided and harassed every day, loves being praised for singing rather than put down for not being a good enough musician.
She failed the drivers training written exam three times.
She's got sleep issues. She's always been a night-owl, but it's gotten out of hand. So she's seen a psychiatrist who prescribed prozac and a sleeping med. The sleeping med helps quite a bit.
She started with a psychologist a couple of weeks ago, for talk therapy, and she really likes her, and I do, too. She was finally able to share with me that she'd been having dreams about being raped. The therapist suggested that she has a really hard time making boundaries and saying 'NO' (see creepy kid whose ass I wanted kick, paragraph2), and dd is sooo happy to have an explanation, and therefore she has something to DO about it- learn how to make boundaries and not feel badly about turning people down.
Alright, so on the one hand- she lives in a healthy, whole family, she's not being abused, she's not in a war-torn country, she has a pretty nice life in middle-class America. On the other hand, she's had some big hits to her self-esteem.
But she's seeing a good talk therapist and she's seeing the psychiatrist this week to fine tune her meds. The psychologist says the prozac obviously isn't working. Her grades are in much better shape.
So I don't understand why she's cutting. Or still cutting. Why is she dealing with stress *this* particular way, that leaves permanent scars on her body?? She's obviously self-conscious about them, she covers them up when she's out.