DS (3.5 years) sticks to me like glue -- especially when we are at home. I'm guessing because at home there are fewer distractions from his intense anxiety.
I need space. And quiet. I need time without being physically touched, screamed at, etc. I need the mental space to focus on something -- anything -- for more than 10 seconds. DH is home in the evenings now to give me a break but I still really struggle through the last hour or two of the day.
He hasn't napped in 2 years. He doesn't play alone -- virtually ever. Well, we have worked up to about 3 minutes on very rare occasion, when I'm 2 feet away and he's in a perfect mood and the stars are perfectly aligned lol. When I ask him why he doesn't play on his own, he says he doesn't like to, he wants someone to play with him, he is scared playing by himself because he thinks something scary will come and get him.
(And before someone suggests a sibling... I only wish!! We have fertility issues and can't adopt right now.)
How do I get him to respect my physical and mental space a bit more? I wouldn't mind so much if he was just playing quietly (or even not so quietly) by my feet or something. But he needs constant, 24/7 interaction. It brings out a feeling of rage in me when he is constantly whining, screaming, climbing on me, etc. I just need 5 minutes of peace!!! He is like this with everyone, not just me. No amount of time I spend with him is enough, he *needs* it to be constant. I try to get him to play with his imaginary friends (he has MANY) or his toy animals but he wants a real person.
I know that to some extent this is just part of being a mom but other kids I know play by themselves, or nap, or at least watch TV on their own for a bit or something. I don't know any other kids who require 24/7 interaction and it completely exhausting, infuriating even... makes me feel like I am doing something wrong, or maybe there is something wrong with DS (and he is a little... hmmm, well, anxious, and sometimes seems kind of Aspergers-y??). And how do I stay calm when I don't have the time & space to calm and center myself or even pee by myself???