Take 19 month old on trip or leave her home with dad?

[sesa70]

I am torn, and not sure what I should do. I am taking my middle daughter out of state to visit family next month. Older dd is staying home with dad. B/c of her special needs and wheelchair, it is next to impossible to fly with her. I can't decide what to do about little dd! I keep going back and forth about taking her along.

I am going to see my sister who is 22 and will be staying with my father (think more of an annoying cousin, I was raised by my grandparents so he really isn't 'dad') and we'll be gone 4 days. Is 19 months old too young to be away from me for so long? Would you take her or leave her home? Also, she gives the term spirited a new meaning :)

[skycheattraffic]

A big consideration for me is: is she still nursing and how does she fall asleep?
My DD is 17 months, nurses around the clock and nurses to sleep. She is very very active and headstrong but sweet and friendly too. Traveling with her would be a nightmare since she is a very routine loving girl. On the other hand I couldn't leave her because of nursing. I think in your shoes I'd try to think what would be easier on DD and go with that. I hope that helps.

[EarthLoveMama87]

Any child who is nursing is not separated from me until they are sttn. With my oldest, that didn't happen until he was almost 5! Not that we have ever been separated anyway, not sure I could go without our nighttime cuddles. :)

[sesa70]

Thanks ladies :) My dd is not nursing, and actually dad is the one who gets her to sleep at night. He sits with her in her room until she falls asleep and she generally sleeps through the night or only wakes once :)

My issue is more that I am going to miss her! I am taking this trip primarily for my middle dd so she can see her favorite aunt. My worry about bringing my little one along is that it limit what we can do (naps, restaurants, etc). Im so torn.

[skycheattraffic]

It sounds like she would do well with daddy at home. Falling asleep in a strange place without her usual routine will be very tough probably. I don't know her personality but my DD would have a very rough time with that to the point where sleep would become a problem and affect what we could do the next day. I know you will miss her but I would let her stay with dad this time. If you take her and she has a tough time then it will detract from everyone's visit

[graciegal]

We just did two trips this summer when DD was 22 and 24 months old. It was very hard on us. Her naps were busted, sleep was tough, and we were running after her 24/7 in people's houses that weren't babyproofed. We had no quality time with the people we flew out to see. I'd recommend leaving her. She'll be fine, daddy will be fine, and you and your daughter will have a much more quality time with family members.
 

[Peony]

In that case, I'd leave her home with dad. Enjoy your trip with just ONE child! 

[Bokonon]

I went out of town for 3 days when my nursing DD was almost 19 months old and it went very well.  I never would have done that with my first, but my second was a super high needs baby and I really needed some time away from her for my sanity.

She did very well for Daddy and picked up nursing right where she left off when I got home.  And it was just what I needed.  I say go for it and have a wonderful time!

[rdehoff-us]

Since she is not breastfeeding and goes to bed pretty well with dad, then I would most likely leave the youngest at home.  If this trip is for the middle daughter than you might consider making it about her and she might enjoy it more if the focus is not on the baby sister's needs (aka nap-time, bed-time, her routine, toddler activities, etc.)  This could be a great time to connect with your middle child and sister.  I absolutely love my 20 month old son, but sometimes he makes it difficult to hold an adult conversation or enjoy sightseeing when I have to think about four times as many things at once.  Not that you can't have the best of both, but sometimes it can be nice to take a break for yourself and your other loved ones as well.  If you, your sister, or father has a computer with a video-cam I would recommend Skype (video-chatting) with your family back at home a few times during your trip or even once a day if it would help.  Of course there have been times where I just could not stand to be away from my baby either so its really up to you.

[vegrunr]

I agree with all of the above.  I went through  doula training that was 3 days/2 nights when my son was 20 1/2 months.  I had never been away a single night before that.  I really wanted to do it for me and it was important enough that I made it happen.  He was also with his dad 2 days and my mom one day and he did fabulously!  Go with just one and enjoy!