"He showed me his penis" - Page 2

[MamaPrincess]

In our school that woudl be treated flat out as sexual harasment and the boy might face expultion.

[NiteNicole]

Originally Posted by rubidoux 

The way you put it here does sound awful and I think if that's how it happened, I'd be more inclined to tell the school.  But when I read it, I understood as meaning that the second boy was trying to protect her from the flasher-boy.  She said he put his hands over her eyes, not over her mouth.  Also, the way OP said it, it sounded like the two boys weren't in cahoots.  If they were acting together (ie, "hey johnny, you go cover her mouth so she can't scream and I'm gonna take out my penis!"), that would feel different to me, more aggressive and thought out, I guess.

It really sucks that this boys parents aren't more with it.  If you trusted them to handle it well, or even to handle it, that would save you having to tell anyone official.  

I wonder about maybe telling someone at the school that a boy exposed himself, but not who it was.  They should be watching the kids a little better.  

I reread and you're right, it was her eyes.  Still may have felt scary or at the very least...weird.  Now they all have a secret to keep from the teacher.  That, to my daughter, would be excruciating. 

Exposing himself may well be within the broad realm of normal, the important thing is that he needs to learn it's not acceptable.  Lots of acting-up issues are normal, but kids still have to learn not to do them because they are not acceptable (most kids will hit or bite sooner or later, but we have to teach them not to, for example). 

I am still VERY MUCH in favor of telling the school.  I would want my daughter to have the idea that she has boundaries and a right to expect other people to respect them, especially at school.

[fairejour]

I told the school. 

Should I follow up? I explained to my DD that it is unacceptable. I am concerned that she didn't tell the teacher. She has had some experiences at school that have led her to believe that telling doesn't help. She feels like they believe other people over her, or that she will get in trouble for "tattling". That is a whole different issue....

[LynnS6]

Originally Posted by fairejour 

I told the school. 

Should I follow up? I explained to my DD that it is unacceptable. I am concerned that she didn't tell the teacher. She has had some experiences at school that have led her to believe that telling doesn't help. She feels like they believe other people over her, or that she will get in trouble for "tattling". That is a whole different issue....

Honestly, that would bother me a lot more than the penis showing part. I know this is a special school because of her hearing issues, but is it the best place for her to be? Can you work with her on telling you and then you go to the teachers? Because it doesn't sound like a safe place for her to be if she's not going to be believed.

[meemee]

Originally Posted by LynnS6 

Honestly, that would bother me a lot more than the penis showing part. I know this is a special school because of her hearing issues, but is it the best place for her to be? Can you work with her on telling you and then you go to the teachers? Because it doesn't sound like a safe place for her to be if she's not going to be believed.

i totally agree with this.  if she has a problem telling the teacher then at least she should tell you. however i know kids have a hard time seperating school with home except if its really big. 

[APToddlerMama]

I realize this thread has died out, but I have to say OP that I'm happy you told the school. That sort of behavior can be normal up to a point, but at a certain point even if it is just a prank, it needs to be very seriously addressed. Also, at 8 or 9, it's getting to the stage where it also becomes a red flag for having been sexually abused. So, for this boy's well being as well as your dd, its good you told the school. It really is not something to take lightly for so many reasons.

[pattimomma]

Originally Posted by fairejour 

I told the school. 

Should I follow up? I explained to my DD that it is unacceptable. I am concerned that she didn't tell the teacher. She has had some experiences at school that have led her to believe that telling doesn't help. She feels like they believe other people over her, or that she will get in trouble for "tattling". That is a whole different issue....

My son has experienced the same tattling issues as your DD. It eventually turned into him becoming the class scapegoat.

As far as the penis exposure- telling the school was the right thing to do. When my son was nine, a boy on his swim team showed my DS his penis in front of some other boys. DS reacted by punching the boy in the face. My DS was very offended by the penis boy. Both the other boy and my DS got in trouble.

[tinyblackdot]

Originally Posted by fairejour 

She has had some experiences at school that have led her to believe that telling doesn't help. She feels like they believe other people over her, or that she will get in trouble for "tattling". That is a whole different issue....

That breaks my heart :(

[Hippie Mama in MI]

Disgusting. If it was my child I'd take it up with the little pervert's parents, the principal, the teacher and her supervisor if any (where was SHE when this happened?) and the parents of the other kids in the class. Make it public. Be loud. Get attention drawn to the pervert. Mention the words ABUSE, DISTURBED and POLICE. Do not leave any possibility that there can be a next time. Your child could be molested or raped. If it was my kid I'd get her right out of the entire school.
 

[mtiger]

Originally Posted by NiteNicole 

I am far less worried about the intent of the boy than of the perception by the girl.  What he intended has nothing to do with how she experienced it.  Having one boy expose himself to her while another held his hand over her mouth and she screamed probably felt pretty cruddy.
 

The other boy tried to cover her EYES, not her mouth! Let's not make it more dramatic than it was. As described, it doesn't sound as though it was all that traumatic for OP's daughter.

[NiteNicole]

Yes, if you'd read the whole thread, you'd see we cleared that up.
 

[rubidoux]

Originally Posted by Hippie Mama in MI 

Disgusting. If it was my child I'd take it up with the little pervert's parents, the principal, the teacher and her supervisor if any (where was SHE when this happened?) and the parents of the other kids in the class. Make it public. Be loud. Get attention drawn to the pervert. Mention the words ABUSE, DISTURBED and POLICE. Do not leave any possibility that there can be a next time. Your child could be molested or raped. If it was my kid I'd get her right out of the entire school.
 

Omgosh.  This is so over the top and very scary to me.  I don't know if this was maybe tongue in cheek (I hope!), but I do think there are people out there who think this way.  It makes me very scared for my boys and boys in general.  I feel really sad for any boys that cross your path, mama.  :(  It sounds to me like you would really like to permanently and seriously ruin this child's life.  

[rubidoux]

Originally Posted by fairejour 

I told the school. 

Should I follow up? I explained to my DD that it is unacceptable. I am concerned that she didn't tell the teacher. She has had some experiences at school that have led her to believe that telling doesn't help. She feels like they believe other people over her, or that she will get in trouble for "tattling". That is a whole different issue....

Do you know what actions the school took?

Originally Posted by APToddlerMama 

I realize this thread has died out, but I have to say OP that I'm happy you told the school. That sort of behavior can be normal up to a point, but at a certain point even if it is just a prank, it needs to be very seriously addressed. Also, at 8 or 9, it's getting to the stage where it also becomes a red flag for having been sexually abused. So, for this boy's well being as well as your dd, its good you told the school. It really is not something to take lightly for so many reasons.

I agree that it is quite possible that telling the school will help the boy out, either because there are deeper issues like molestation or just because he does need to learn healthy boundaries and that that kind of behavior could be traumatic for the other people involved.  I hope they handle it well, and while I fear that they're nut cases, they probably aren't...  I'm overly cautious about that kind of thing.  

[AnnaBees Mama]

Originally Posted by Hippie Mama in MI 

Disgusting. If it was my child I'd take it up with the little pervert's parents, the principal, the teacher and her supervisor if any (where was SHE when this happened?) and the parents of the other kids in the class. Make it public. Be loud. Get attention drawn to the pervert. Mention the words ABUSE, DISTURBED and POLICE. Do not leave any possibility that there can be a next time. Your child could be molested or raped. If it was my kid I'd get her right out of the entire school.

 

Let me take a moment to gasp and allow my eyes fall out of my head.

This "pervert" is not even 8. This is inappropriate but NORMAL behavior for this age group. Most kids have played the show-me-yours-and-I'll-show-you-mine game. Most kids are not perverts.

Seriously.

Considering I was a curious kid at that age, was put through counseling and excruciating and embarrassing exams to figure out what was "wrong" with me (conclusion: precocity!)... my heart throbs for this poor kid who sounds like he needs some guidance and extra supervision, not the label of SEX OFFENDER.

Please get a grip and keep in mind there's another child at the end of this, not a monster.

[APToddlerMama]

[quot

e name="Hippie Mama in MI" url="/community/t/1362474/he-showed-me-his-penis/20#post_17116242"]Disgusting. If it was my child I'd take it up with the little pervert's parents, the principal, the teacher and her supervisor if any (where was SHE when this happened?) and the parents of the other kids in the class. Make it public. Be loud. Get attention drawn to the pervert. Mention the words ABUSE, DISTURBED and POLICE. Do not leave any possibility that there can be a next time. Your child could be molested or raped. If it was my kid I'd get her right out of the entire school.

 
[/quote]

Wow. Settle down. Let's not forget this is a child. While it is completely unacceptable and absolutely needs to be addressed, he is still a *child.*