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Mothering › Groups › March 2013 Due Date Club › Discussions › really need help!

really need help!

post #1 of 14
Thread Starter 

ok, so back in july, I posted on here (the general mothering board) that I had unprotected sex and that I was hoping that I was pregnant right, and then I got my period (and sobbed) and then I thought "ok, not pregnant" However since that time I last posted on here - i've been scared to post, like Im not like a real mom yet so I just kind of sat on the sidelines - but here is the twist, I am incredibly confused as to whether or not I am pregnant.


All the tests i took said no (had like five+ urine tests) but those were in July, I even went to the emergency room, put on my best fake-stomach-cramp face in order to have an ultrasound (they wouldn't do one, apparently the aforementioned face is not convincing) so here I am in limbo. I had nausea with occassional vomiting, I was waking up at 5:00 am everyday - I had food aversions - and now, today, If I am indeed pregnant I would 14w 3 d and would be due 03/03/2013 (hence why I joined this group for my "maybe" baby). As I read, 1st tri symptoms tend to slow down as you enter second trimester - i've experienced that (no more nauseea and I can eat eggs again) but I am still confused. I have not taken a pregnancy test since the negative ones - but I feel random flutters that are small but DO NOT feel like gas, it feels like tiny little kicks (it feels like something tiny is kicking me or doing something in there). Now, once I get some money together (i am poor)  I will take another test or go to some free testing spot, but in the meantime, what does it sould like ladies?


Now I've had cyclical bleeding ever since that time - but is always super light and lasts a short period of time) btw, my stomcach is getting bigger/firmer (i get cramps in my stomach), I am so exhausted by not "knowing" by traditional standards, I hate being caught in limbo as I feel like a) an idiot for not knowing by now (i need to let the father know, I told him I might be pregnant but I still do not "know") b) I just wanna make sure the baby is healthy if I am indeed pregnant and not crazy and c) don't want people think I am trying to hide being pregnant, but I legitimately do not know.


I am honestly scared to say I am pregnant, because what if I am just crazy, and I am not pregnant, and I did all this stuff to prepare for a baby that was never there, I wanna cry because this not knowing is really stressful, and stress is bad for babies, and it makes me feel bad that I am stressed, have no money and am questioning whether or not I am pregnant when I "should just know." I always thought I would be one of those mothers who knew instantly :(


One weird symptom, I feel more gullible in the than I did before this crazy confusion started.


My stomach is definitely getting bigger though, that I know, and it is firmer towards the bottom, and my waist is disappearing, but I am not "showing" yet.

post #2 of 14

Sorry you are going through this. I really hope someone who knows the system in the United States (I'm assuming that is where you are from since you seem to be concerned about the cost of the pregnancy test) can respond with specifics about where you may be able to get help in the U.S. 


Unfortunately there is no way for anyone to diagnose pregnancy or not based solely on symptoms. The cruel thing about pregnancy symptoms is that they can be similar to a large number of other things. 


Is there any free women's medical services you can make use of? I've heard of Planned Parenthood, is that an option? You should be able to get a fast answer with a simple blood test. 


Here is a link to Planned Parenthood's "Am I Pregnant" page: http://www.plannedparenthood.org/all-access/am-i-pregnant-34501.htm


Good luck!

post #3 of 14

You need to apply for state medicaid. In most cases you will be able to go to a doctor before your medicaid kicks in and they will cover it. You can also call Planned Parenthood and see if they have sliding scale rates for low income (I'm pretty sure they do, but I can't remember). Can your partner help you pay for a test?
Also, how do you make a living/who supports you? If you still live with your parents, maybe it would be best to let them know what is going on. It sounds like you will need their help once the baby arrives if you are pregnant. (I'm not judging at all btw, we were very low income when DS was born!)

I wish you the best. Please keep us updated! hug2.gif

post #4 of 14
Thread Starter 

well, I am working full time and just moved into my own apartment (was living with sister). My partner (at the time) lives in TX - I live in PA, and that situation still needs to be worked out, because we are not really speaking right now. Moving has been very expensive and stressful and now that I am more settled in, I am going to see what is really going on, so I think I am going to go to a crisis pregnancy center, and if I keep testing negative then I will go from there, I get paid this week so I will get a pregnancy test - or at least a free one - and see what it says but I keep feeling flutters (the last flutter I felt shook my lower abdomen)

post #5 of 14

Is finding a sympathetic midwife with a sliding scale an option?

and I'm not implying you are thinking of abortion or anything like that but http://www.lifechoicesclinic.org/services.html seems like an option. Though they seem to be based around faith, I don't know if that's your cup of tea, they do offer "early ultrasounds to confirm pregnancy" and it appears the service is free. At least this would get you some answers.

post #6 of 14
Thread Starter 

going to get an ultrasound today from a clinic, so I will know by the end of the day - and will update you guys tomorrow!

post #7 of 14

Good luck at the clinic and I hope that they can get you some great info on medicaid and other resources to help cover your expenses. I used to work with and teach pregnant teens, and I know that there are a lot of great resources out there to help cover medical expenses. Looking forward to hear your results and sending positive thoughts your way.

post #8 of 14
Thread Starter 

Ok so I went to the clinic - they ran a pregnancy test and it was negative (expecting that) but would not do an ultrasound w/o a (+) test.  Sigh, I guess I won't know until around feb/march - like I keep feeling movement and am starting to think I'm insane...:( really depressed by this whole situation, will keep you guys updated as time goes on ...

post #9 of 14

I hope you are able to get to a doctor before March. I know that they work out payment plans for people without insurance. Continue to take care of yourself as if you got a positive test. I'll be thinking about you!

post #10 of 14

maybe find a cheap doppler or like I said above, a sympathetic midwife that will look for a heartbeat for you?

post #11 of 14

I can't help but reply.... I am so angry and upset for you!   This situation is insane! 


I'm not in the US, and so I don't really get your medical-aid/insurance situation  (and quite frankly, from what I see, it sucks!!!) but I can't help but be outraged by this.  Regardless of a negative pg test, you are having symptoms that shouldn't be ignored.    You really, really need to be seen by a doctor who will do a full medical check-up, not just a pg test and then send you on your merry way.


I am not attacking your here...I am attacking the system and I am OUTRAGED that you are not being cared for and taken seriously and checked out!!!!  My family doctor would've sent me for a battery of tests the minute I walked in her office with the symptoms you are describing.


Is there no way to get a medical exam when you don't have insurance coverage?!?!  Like I said, I don't know how your medical system works, but I think your situation needs to be assessed, and not just from a pg or not pg point of view.


Sorry I seem a little harsh.. But is it absolutely incomprehensible and ridiculous to me that medical services seem to be only available for the rich people.


I'm thinking of you and really, really hope you get to the bottom of this.



post #12 of 14
Thread Starter 

hi ladies just wanted to update you and thank you for all of your support.


I was able to get a free ultrasound and find out that whatever is going on with me, I am not having a baby (it does worry me though because the tech could only see part of my uterus, not really sure why). But again, just want to thank you all for your attention and help (beaglesmuggler, your link sent me to a place that would do an ultrasound for free, thank you, thank you!). I am more relieved than anything, because now I can prepare for when I have a baby vs, being in a really tough spot personally and financially, and when I am pregnant and having a baby, y'all will be the first to know!


I do wanna wish all you lovely mamas a happy, healthy pregnancies, and thanks for bearing through my craziness :)

post #13 of 14

I'm so glad I was able to help. Best of luck to you. 

post #14 of 14

I'm so glad that you finally got an answer! Best of luck to you, Emily!

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