ok, so back in july, I posted on here (the general mothering board) that I had unprotected sex and that I was hoping that I was pregnant right, and then I got my period (and sobbed) and then I thought "ok, not pregnant" However since that time I last posted on here - i've been scared to post, like Im not like a real mom yet so I just kind of sat on the sidelines - but here is the twist, I am incredibly confused as to whether or not I am pregnant.
All the tests i took said no (had like five+ urine tests) but those were in July, I even went to the emergency room, put on my best fake-stomach-cramp face in order to have an ultrasound (they wouldn't do one, apparently the aforementioned face is not convincing) so here I am in limbo. I had nausea with occassional vomiting, I was waking up at 5:00 am everyday - I had food aversions - and now, today, If I am indeed pregnant I would 14w 3 d and would be due 03/03/2013 (hence why I joined this group for my "maybe" baby). As I read, 1st tri symptoms tend to slow down as you enter second trimester - i've experienced that (no more nauseea and I can eat eggs again) but I am still confused. I have not taken a pregnancy test since the negative ones - but I feel random flutters that are small but DO NOT feel like gas, it feels like tiny little kicks (it feels like something tiny is kicking me or doing something in there). Now, once I get some money together (i am poor) I will take another test or go to some free testing spot, but in the meantime, what does it sould like ladies?
Now I've had cyclical bleeding ever since that time - but is always super light and lasts a short period of time) btw, my stomcach is getting bigger/firmer (i get cramps in my stomach), I am so exhausted by not "knowing" by traditional standards, I hate being caught in limbo as I feel like a) an idiot for not knowing by now (i need to let the father know, I told him I might be pregnant but I still do not "know") b) I just wanna make sure the baby is healthy if I am indeed pregnant and not crazy and c) don't want people think I am trying to hide being pregnant, but I legitimately do not know.
I am honestly scared to say I am pregnant, because what if I am just crazy, and I am not pregnant, and I did all this stuff to prepare for a baby that was never there, I wanna cry because this not knowing is really stressful, and stress is bad for babies, and it makes me feel bad that I am stressed, have no money and am questioning whether or not I am pregnant when I "should just know." I always thought I would be one of those mothers who knew instantly :(
One weird symptom, I feel more gullible in the than I did before this crazy confusion started.
My stomach is definitely getting bigger though, that I know, and it is firmer towards the bottom, and my waist is disappearing, but I am not "showing" yet.