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Need Nursing in Public Support :( - Page 2

post #21 of 28

Good for you for nursing your baby, even among critics or less than supportive family.

A few ideas:

Next time you're invited to said family member's home, have a talk with them about how you expect to be treated before arriving, whatever that means for you and be kind but firm. If they agree to your terms and behave differently upon your arrival, feed your baby and then leave. If they aren't able to support your decisions, it may affect you emotionally and in turn affect your intentions of a long and healthy nursing relationship with your little one. I think if you make it clear you're unwilling to be treated like an outcast, that they'll treat you more kindly and gently than they are now. 

Rally your husband's support. He may be unaware of how this is affecting you/bothering you. Is he? Express to him how important his support is for a successful time breastfeeding and especially in public. Of course, you can speak for yourself, but it's always powerful when someone else speak's on another's behalf, man or woman. If your MIL is supportive, rally her support. If anything, it will strengthen your relationship with her. :) You're doing enough work raising a baby and breastfeeding her, not that you don't know. :) But taking criticism from anyone, especially family makes being a new mom less than the joy it really should be.

If the men really are uncomfortable (which my guess is that it's truly the women) then the bigger problem is not you NIP, but their inability to control whatever arousal is occurring from a mother doing the most natural thing she can for her baby. Am I right? There is nothing sexual about breastfeeding. Our culture over-sexualizes everything. So if someone else only sees the fact that you're exposing yourself minimally and they can't see the heart and extreme care you're taking in nourishing your baby, then they've been overly influenced by culture's mindset that a woman's breasts are for sex and that is not all they're intended for...at all. :) So bare that in mind and if you're comfortable with it, share that sentiment with your family. It's not your fault and you (nor any BF woman) should be penalized for culture's wrong doing. I know we are, but we shouldn't be.

Lastly, cover ups never worked for me, not at a few weeks old and not now as my toddler is 22 months. haha I did invest in a few BOOB brand nursing tops though. Have you heard of them? If not, google BOOB brand nursing tops. You can find them at a variety of online retailers, other than boob. Naturalmomgear.com is where I bought mine because they're more affordable there for some reason. I also bought some on ebay for super cheap! They're an easy open design, very modest, and the only brand I wear because they're really practical and don't feel like nursing clothing. It makes nursing discreetly a breeze without making you feel like you're living 2-3 layers. Instead, they're an envelope-like design, which sounds weird, but check them out. Even if you only invest in a couple, that would be helpful for when you visit with family.

 

Oh, and truly, I think your family should be making the drive to you! You have the new baby after all. This way they're on your turf, meaning your rules or the highway. And, if mr. uncle father brother in law is uncomfortable with you nursing, he doesn't have to come. :)

 

Best of luck. I hope things improve. :)

post #22 of 28
Thread Starter 

I want to thank everyone who commented on your thread. Each and every response was a big help for an overwhelmed new mom and I cannot express how much your collective support has meant to me. 
 

I figured it was time to update and let you guys now that now, twelve weeks into our breastfeeding relationship, things are great for Miriam and me. I nursed her at the social security office last week and I realized how far we've come. I feel no shame with my daughter anymore. I've started nursing discreetly whenever I need to, where ever I am without giving it much thought anymore and it feels good. My   MIL has been extremely supportive and as a result, I visit her more than any other relative. My dad and stepmom still have their issues with me not running off into the bathroom or a spare room, so I nurse her in the parking lot and keep my visits short. I think sooner or later, the imagery of me having to nurse outside, in the car, (even though I'm perfectly comfortable out there) will hit them and they'll realize how silly they're being.

 

And you guys were right - by now, Miri's a pro and it's much easier with a baby who has neck control.

post #23 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by KristyDi View Post

Yup

 

We havea lot in common OP.  My DD is3weeks old and I also have large heavy breasts (the H cup nursing bras I got in the mail today are too small)   I nursed my older DD all over the place in public with no cover, including around family, but I'm not comfortble NIPing with the baby yet.  I have a couple f times, but so far I've used the corner of my wrap as a small cover.  I usually just cover m breast, not the baby's face with the wrap.  Once DD gets a bit bigger with better head control I'll have to do less positioning and holding of my breast and NIPing will be much easier.

 

where in the world can you find large nursing bras? I've tried D,DD,&DDD ones all to no avail. I havn't left the house much at all because I only have one nursing bra that even kinda fits (DD) a little bit but it hurts so I'm sure it's to small and I'm afraid it'll make my milk dry up. I'm much to large to go out in public bra-less. Where do I find bigger ones?

post #24 of 28
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by hollyakamomma View Post

 

where in the world can you find large nursing bras? I've tried D,DD,&DDD ones all to no avail. I havn't left the house much at all because I only have one nursing bra that even kinda fits (DD) a little bit but it hurts so I'm sure it's to small and I'm afraid it'll make my milk dry up. I'm much to large to go out in public bra-less. Where do I find bigger ones?

I'm a 40F, depending on how full they are at any given moment, and I use either: the 2XL nursing sports bra MIL got me from Walmart (it's a good sleep bra or for around the house), my 2XL Glamourmom (under other shirts when I want to be able to cover my stomach while nursing but don't mind that it's not terribly supportive) or, usually, a regular bra. I didn't believe other women when they told me it'd be easier to fold down the cup under my shirt before latching rather than fumble with clasps (especially trying to clasp my heavy breasts back IN), but it really is.

 

Where do I get my large regular bras? Well, right now, I'm wearing my pre-pregnancy bras mostly, but I'd buy new bras here or, if you're not plus sized, here.

post #25 of 28
As a large breasted woman (j-k cup), I've done a lot of research into nursing bras and highly recommend the Goddess brand nursing bras.They can be found for sale online and in some boutiques. These are high quality, excellent support bras for heavy breasts, and virtually the only brand that fits large cups and ribcages.
Hope this helps. All us nursers are heroines from where I'm standing!
post #26 of 28

I don't know how you feel about this, but depending on the style you can find, you might try a regular sports bra.  

 

I really hate fumbling with clasps and stuff, too, so most of the time I use a sports bra and just pull it down for nursing.  Its not the most attractive look under a tshirt, but I'm perfectly happy with it when I'm hanging around the house :)

post #27 of 28

Yay for the update!  

 

I second the suggestion for a sports bra. I get a size or three larger than what I would normally wear so I can pop a breast out the top. I'm not sure how well that would work for large breasts though. 

 

Happy to hear how much better things have gotten. 

post #28 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by hollyakamomma View Post

where in the world can you find large nursing bras? I've tried D,DD,&DDD ones all to no avail. I havn't left the house much at all because I only have one nursing bra that even kinda fits (DD) a little bit but it hurts so I'm sure it's to small and I'm afraid it'll make my milk dry up. I'm much to large to go out in public bra-less. Where do I find bigger ones?

Sorry I missed this. I got my large cup nursing bras from amazon. I believe they are Anita brand.
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