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Too young for a crush?

post #1 of 10
Thread Starter 
My daughter just barely turned 6. She is very bright, and I suspect may be gifted. She is extremely advanced in social interactions, and acts more like 9 or 10 years old, not 6. She also gets along with 9 and 10 year olds, and enjoys spending time with them.
In a playground setting, she often becomes the leader of the group, even when there are other much older children.

She has a crush on a boy at church. A real crush. My husband and I have tried to downplay it, and have not encouraged or made a big deal out of it at all. She kept saying she liked him, no big deal, but then on Sunday, she ran up to me and said "I saw David!! He walked past me and said 'excuse me'!" she was truly giddy, and honestly it freaked me out. I'm not ready for this!! She's too young!

She doesn't watch TV, she's homeschooled, the oldest child, and her play with other children is supervised, and I've never heard anything like this from the other children. I can't imagine her getting this anywhere else, so I really don't think she is just copying, this is coming from her, and I'm convinced it's genuine.
I had no interest in boys until I was near 11.
Is it really young, or am I just confused? Is this within the normal range of ages for being attracted to boys?
If its not, heck, even if it is, what do I do? Just ignore it, and continue to downplay it? I'm not ready for this!!
post #2 of 10

My DD1 is just turned 6.  She's had several crushes over the years.  They've always been on playmates, and she'll talk about how they're going to get married and so on.  She doesn't talk with the little boy about these plans, and does the giddy and blushing sort of thing too.  I've never encouraged it or made a big deal out of it.  She also really likes to be with men, and is not big on personal space (hugging, clinging, asking to be held, sitting in laps, etc).  I'm really working with her on respecting other people's personal space, but the rest seems like a non-issue to me.  FWIW, she's TV free and home schooled, and she receives plenty of touch and affection. 

post #3 of 10

there are many 5- 6 year olds (even younger) who have no idea what boys are and then there are those with crushes. totally normal. its a personality thing. problem is many times their crushes are not interested in the same manner to anyone. 

 

some even have crushes on teenagers. 

 

by the time dd was 5 she was married and 'divorced' because they went to different schools and we lost touch. the boy proposed and dd had to make choices of who to marry. after the divorce she decided against marrying anyone because 'mom how do you make up your mind when you like so many'. while she was married they were so sweet of how they took care of each other at daycare. now at 10 she is irritated by younger brother who have crushes on her and want to marry her. 

post #4 of 10

Seems normal to me.  I remember having my first crushes as a first grader.  I never said anything about them to the boys or to anyone else.  I was so shy I didn't date anyone even when I was in high school, so having early crushes doesn't have to mean early dating or sex.  (But your DD sounds pretty different from me socially.)

post #5 of 10

My family folklore includes the story that I didn't tell my mom that I was expected to bring a blanket to kindergarten for naptime. Months into the schoolyear, Mom learned of this and she asked me why. I said, "it's no problem - I sleep with my husband, Doug!"
 

post #6 of 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by Daffodil View Post

Seems normal to me.  I remember having my first crushes as a first grader.  

Yup.  Me, too.  

 

I was less effusive, though.  His name was Tommy.  Oooh, but I did slip him a note into his desk, made with crayons-- you know you do the rainbow colors underneath, then color over with black and make a drawing or write, scratching off the black and revealing the colors underneath.  It said "I love you Tommy".  Don't remember if I included my name.

post #7 of 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamarhu View Post

My family folklore includes the story that I didn't tell my mom that I was expected to bring a blanket to kindergarten for naptime. Months into the schoolyear, Mom learned of this and she asked me why. I said, "it's no problem - I sleep with my husband, Doug!"
 

awww that is so sweet.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by SweetSilver View Post

Yup.  Me, too.  

 

I was less effusive, though.  His name was Tommy.  Oooh, but I did slip him a note into his desk, made with crayons-- you know you do the rainbow colors underneath, then color over with black and make a drawing or write, scratching off the black and revealing the colors underneath.  It said "I love you Tommy".  Don't remember if I included my name.

awww how ingenious. i am going to steal your idea to make dd's birthday card. i love hearing these stories. 

 

i was the opposite. no crushes till much later on. 

 

i really admire dd. she is sooo different than i am. she is so bold. in 3rd grade she walked up to this boy and gave him a rose. and was so thrilled that he kept it in his desk and brought it out and played with it sometimes. no words passed between them on this subject but a lot of gestures and looks were exchanged. she doesnt like him anymore and had a new love in 4th grade. she is disappointed that her new love doesnt really 'like' girls. and that he actually likes me more than her or any other girls.  

post #8 of 10

I concur with everyone else. Totally normal. These are great stories! I had a "husband" in preschool and never stopped having crushes after that. At eight I was in love with Ringo Starr and had an elaborate fantasy world where we were married and had kids. It wasn't sexual, just a playing house kind of thing. And I must say, I think it's adorable that she was excited that he said "excuse me." I understand why it freaked you out, but it seems totally innocent. 

post #9 of 10
When I was about that age I had crushes on "older men." Like my friend's older brother, Sam. blush.gif I knew from a very very early age (like 4) that I was straight and very attracted to boys/men. I think it's normal.
post #10 of 10
Thread Starter 
Okay, wow. I had no idea it was so common. That's very good to hear!
Threw me for a loop, but I guess I'll come to grips with it. smile.gif
Thank you so much for all the input, it really put me at ease.
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