Having daughter in room during birth, what if she wants to leave?

[tinyblackdot]

We plan on having my dd with us while I'm at the birth center giving birth to her baby brother. But I'm so worried about her being a distraction for my DH and possibly me, or her not wanting to be there and gettin uncomfortable. I do NoT want anyone else there. My mother absolutely drives me crazy, and my MIL is crazy. fun times

Anyways what did you do? Or any ideas on what I could do?
Thanks!!!

[purplerose]

first of all, how old is she? my 9 year old decided during labor not to be in the room with me. she went to a room on the other side of the house and close the door LOL

[pokeyAC]

I would have someone there who can watch your daughter who won't drive you crazy.  Perhaps a new doula working as a volunteer would be able to help.  She would be experienced with birth and wouldn't get in your way.

[tinyblackdot]

 She will be 6 or about to turn 6. At first she wanted to be there, now since i have shown her some water birth videos she is a bit apprehensive.....she said that she just wants to be in the room but not see anything, but wants to see and be there when the baby is born. And its very important to my DH and I that she is there and we want to be able to spend some time with the two of them together privately before anyone else meets or sees him.

 I don't have really anyone else that could be with her there or that i would trust not to cross boundaries while there with her. We are going to get a doula anyways, so im hoping that between her and my DH it will be covered i guess. We just dont have the money to hire someone else to keep her occupied.

[BeachLove]

Between a doula and my husband we had a birth with only my nearly 3 year old and midwife present. It was a VERY good experience for all involved. Here is the link to my birth story if you want an idea of how it all went down.   http://iheartbaby.breathoflife.cc/?p=1417
 

[purplerose]

do you think she's old enough to go to a different room if she feels like it? the birth center in my area is very small so i wouldn't have a problem with a 5/6 year old walking the halls. you can tour it and let her learn where everything is.

[nudnik]

Could you set up a fort or play tent in a corner, and give her an mp3 player or laptop with headphones if she wants to be there but not really see/hear what goes on?

[tiacait]

I think the student doula idea is the way to go. A student doula would probably love to have an opportunity to see a birth and watch an experienced doula do her job. You might be able to find someone who was interested in doing it without cost or maybe you could just offer a babysitter's rate. Personally, I would want one adult "assigned' to kiddo duty so that you can have the full attention of your partner and birth doula without worrying about them needing to multi-task with childcare.

[SympatheticDad]

A doula is not a babysitter.  I think asking one to work as one is a bad idea.

(I also think that "DD", in the context of a 6 year old at a birth, should stand for "Dear Disease-vector", but I'm a pessimist, and it's not my decision.)

[tinyblackdot]

Originally Posted by SympatheticDad 

A doula is not a babysitter.  I think asking one to work as one is a bad idea.

(I also think that "DD", in the context of a 6 year old at a birth, should stand for "Dear Disease-vector", but I'm a pessimist, and it's not my decision.)

Are you kidding me? A disease vector? Well first of all sympathetic dad (very ironic name considering) I don't plan on having my child or anyone for that matter sticking their hand in my vagina, so ant risk of infection is at a minimum. Not to mention my DAuGhTeR gets biweekly Bloodwork to make sure she is healthy as can be, which is more than I can say for anyone that would be at the birth.

[seashells]

Originally Posted by SympatheticDad 

(I also think that "DD", in the context of a 6 year old at a birth, should stand for "Dear Disease-vector", but I'm a pessimist, and it's not my decision.)

You REALLY stuck your foot in it with that.

Not only is it just plain a ridiculous statement to make, but also extremely insensitive given what this poster and her daughter are going through.

[purplerose]

It is actually a great idea, SympatheticDad, to ask a student doula to babysit. And "disease-vector"? As opposed to strangers at a hospital catching and handling a newborn baby? I'd choose germs the baby is exposed to via mom over whatever medical personnel are carrying around.

[pokeyAC]

SympatheticDad, I'd like to refer you to our User Agreement.  Let's keep the discussion civil and avoid what could be perceived as name-calling.

Thank you

It is quite common to have older children present at the birth of new siblings, at home, in birth centers, and in hospitals.  As a new doula myself, I do think a volunteer doula would be happy to be present at a birth center birth even if her duties would include babysitting.

[SympatheticDad]

Upon re-reading my comment, I can see that it could be read as insulting, and I absolutely apologize.  That wasn't my intent.

[tinyblackdot]

Originally Posted by SympatheticDad 

Upon re-reading my comment, I can see that it could be read as insulting, and I absolutely apologize.  That wasn't my intent.

Thank you for the apology, i appreciate it.

[alaskanmomma]

I'd ask the midwife if they could lock the doors to the birth center, and let her watch TV in the waiting area! I'd do that if we had another birth center birth, and what I plan on doing at our upcoming homebirth(if DD and DS don't want to be in the room)