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Has it sunk in yet?

post #1 of 21
Thread Starter 

Anyone else feeling like this pregnancy hasn't "sunk in" yet? It doesn't feel real yet, probably because I haven't had symptoms yet other than being a little more tired on some days. (I'm not worried about the lack of symptoms; I didn't really get any with DD, and my BFP lines have been getting progressively darker.) I just can't actually fathom yet what it will be like to have a second child, and I haven't gotten super excited yet, except the day I got my BFP. I feel bad about it at times. This was totally planned, and I am excited, but I just don't "feel" excited, kwim? I think I also feel a little guilty because life with DD is perfect and now we're throwing someone new into the mix. I hope this doesn't make me sound awful.

post #2 of 21
No, I don't feel like it is real yet either. This will be baby number three. DH and I will be outnumbered! Few symptoms here, too. Not worried, it's just not real yet. My mom is over the moon and I'm just not there yet. I don't think that sounds awful. I'm sure we'll get super excited soon.
post #3 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by lenny1027 View Post

Anyone else feeling like this pregnancy hasn't "sunk in" yet? It doesn't feel real yet, probably because I haven't had symptoms yet other than being a little more tired on some days. (I'm not worried about the lack of symptoms; I didn't really get any with DD, and my BFP lines have been getting progressively darker.) I just can't actually fathom yet what it will be like to have a second child, and I haven't gotten super excited yet, except the day I got my BFP. I feel bad about it at times. This was totally planned, and I am excited, but I just don't "feel" excited, kwim? I think I also feel a little guilty because life with DD is perfect and now we're throwing someone new into the mix. I hope this doesn't make me sound awful.

 

I definitely share some of your feelings. It hasn't "sunk in" yet. I still can't believe in 9 months I'm going to have a precious little one in my arms. And I'm going to start all over again?!? My daughter is 4.5, so I feel like we've gotten past the hard stuff and it's just getting easier every day. So it's sort of daunting to think of starting that process all over again.

 

You don't sound awful at all, mama. I think it's perfectly normal to feel these conflicting emotions. Better to acknowledge them now, "sit with" them, and come to a place of acceptance - rather than ignoring those feelings and having them fester and turn into bitterness!

post #4 of 21

This is my first, and I'm not "there" yet either. I just got the BFP a week ago, which was a very happy event, but since I don't feel much different, It definitely does not seem real yet. I honestly keep expecting AF because that is what I have been expecting for more than half my life!

 

I'm just worried that it will not stick, and we'll be back to square one. I think if I had stronger symptoms I would feel better in some ways ... crazy these bodies we have. We may tell our parents tonight or this weekend, so that might make it more tangible for me.
 

 

post #5 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by lenny1027 View Post

Anyone else feeling like this pregnancy hasn't "sunk in" yet? It doesn't feel real yet, probably because I haven't had symptoms yet other than being a little more tired on some days. (I'm not worried about the lack of symptoms; I didn't really get any with DD, and my BFP lines have been getting progressively darker.) I just can't actually fathom yet what it will be like to have a second child, and I haven't gotten super excited yet, except the day I got my BFP. I feel bad about it at times. This was totally planned, and I am excited, but I just don't "feel" excited, kwim? I think I also feel a little guilty because life with DD is perfect and now we're throwing someone new into the mix. I hope this doesn't make me sound awful.

I feel exactly the same.  I don't feel "invested" yet, and I find myself trying to be excited.  I have moments, but overall I'm just not there yet.  I think I was more excited about the prospect when we were TTC than I actually am now that I'm here!  I think one of the reasons is, like you, I have my wonderful DS to focus my attention on.  Part of me wonders why I'd want to change my perfect little family although I know I want another child and that our family will be even more wonderful and full of love with two than with one.

 

My DH is feeling sort of similar.  He is worried about loving the new baby as much, or having enough love to go around.  My mom said she felt the same way when she was expecting my little sister.

 

For me, I think it'll feel really real when I go for the ultrasound at 12 weeks, continued m/s and fatigue or not.  That's when it really sunk in last time.

 

I think all of these fears and feelings are normal.  grouphug.gif

post #6 of 21

I think it's very common for it to take awhile to sink in. There are always steps along the way that help me connect a little more - the BFP is exciting, the first ultrasound, first movements, gender reveal and anatomy scan at 20 weeks and then there are showers and lots of prep for the big arrival.

 

This first trimester stuff is very challenging, though - we don't feel a lot (aside from some possible symptoms), we aren't showing, most of the world doesn't know we're pregnant and we just kind of hang out and wait.

 

I'm personally really struggling this time around, but mostly because my first few weeks have been colored so negatively by a few different people. I'm counting on seeing the heartbeat as my signal to myself that I can relax, enjoy and be excited. Until then, it's just kind of hard.

 

Hang in there - you'll get more excited as time goes by!

post #7 of 21

I keep the EPT sitting on the counter in our ensuite bathroom that nobody else ever uses so that whenever I go in there I can look and confirm to myself that I really am pregnant. Even though this is my 4th pregnancy and I've got the nausea and fatigue like the last 2 times it still is sinking in that its real.

 

I told my mum yesterday when we were Skyping and we might tell MIL tomorrow when she is here for DS2's 1st birthday party, but we plan to keep it quiet IRL until about Thanksgiving. It never feels completely real to me until I can freely chat about being pregnant.

 

I still keep looking for AF when I use the bathroom too. Previously I've found myself do that all through the first trimester, but my first pregnancy was a miscarriage at 12 weeks, so I don't really relax about that kind of thing until 13-14 weeks.

 

I love the dynamic of my boys. The play so well together and I love how attached they are to each other. I know adding another to the mix will just make that even more wonderful, but I do also think about them ganging up on the new baby too. I think sibling love is a wonderful thing to see develop and it does, no matter what age they are or the gap between them.

post #8 of 21

Oh it's not feeling "real" to me yet either. I think that's because of a few different reasons, we haven't told anyone IRL yet (I'm 4w6d), I'm not having many symptoms (mild nausea and tiredness), and it's only been 2 days since my test. I'm sure it will sink in more as time goes on. Also, we can't talk about it too much around our daughter, 3, because she will blab to everyone. So even at home we have to be careful.

 

I'm also very nervous about miscarriage. I have no reason to be worried, I've never had a miscarriage, and so far I'm having some symptoms, and I can definitely tell something is going on in my uterus. But I know many women who have miscarried their second pregnancy, and I'm just scared. I'm so excited for a new squishy baby, I don't want to be devastated if it doesn't work out. Know what I mean?

post #9 of 21
No, not at all. greensad.gif I want to tell people and celebrate and have them be happy for us, but I am also terrified of losing the baby or not having a baby in there at all. My first ultrasound in October sounds SOOOO far away. I want to go in for another blood test to see if my HCG and Progesterone numbers have improved, but I'm trying to convince myself that's it's unnecessary and a waste of money.

I'll probably be a nervous wreck this whole pregnancy.

It's just that I want this baby SO BAD! I've wanted a baby for so long, and now it's finally here!
post #10 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by TwilightJoy View Post

No, not at all. greensad.gif I want to tell people and celebrate and have them be happy for us, but I am also terrified of losing the baby or not having a baby in there at all. My first ultrasound in October sounds SOOOO far away. I want to go in for another blood test to see if my HCG and Progesterone numbers have improved, but I'm trying to convince myself that's it's unnecessary and a waste of money.
I'll probably be a nervous wreck this whole pregnancy.
It's just that I want this baby SO BAD! I've wanted a baby for so long, and now it's finally here!

 

I am totally right there with  you! I want this one just as bad as when we were trying to get pregnant with our first. I don't know why I have a bad feeling but I do. Sticky vibes all around!!

post #11 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by amyknits1076 View Post

I am totally right there with  you! I want this one just as bad as when we were trying to get pregnant with our first. I don't know why I have a bad feeling but I do. Sticky vibes all around!!

hug.gif Thank you so much. You're going to have a healthy full term pregnancy and so am I and so are the rest of us!!! hug.gif
post #12 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by TwilightJoy View Post


hug.gif Thank you so much. You're going to have a healthy full term pregnancy and so am I and so are the rest of us!!! hug.gif

YES we totally are!!! thumb.gif

post #13 of 21

I can relate to everything all of you are saying. I have anticipated this baby for many, many years, and this is our first, but it still feels so unbelievable. I thought it would take us months and months to get pregnant (I'm 30 and husband's 36) but we got pregnant on the second try. I keep thinking it's too good to be true, that something will happen, and that I'll have to tell the more than handful of people I've already told (I had a terrible case of vertigo the first couple of weeks after getting the BFP and so I couldn't function well at work and had to tell people). I've decided I'm going to wait to make the really, really big announcement until about 14 weeks. I just really want to feel confident that it's real before I totally go public, the thought of which makes me feel really vulnerable.

post #14 of 21

No not really... it will feel real when I have a bump, and I can like... stroke it. I was obsessed by my bump when I was pregnant last time!
 

post #15 of 21

Doesn't feel real here! I have had barely any symptoms except for fatigue and basically no morning sickness. Plus, we didn't really have to try this time and that makes it even harder to believe. I only believe it because we had an ultrasound and saw baby. I am getting excited, though!

post #16 of 21

I'm right there with you and if that makes you a terrible person, mark me down as one too.  We got knocked up during our first cycle off birth control, only really trying well after the typical O time and I didn't start charting until nearly the end of the cycle.  I was a bit scared to go off bc in the first place and delayed it a bit because I wanted to be prepared in case it happened the first time around - figured I'd better be darn sure, ya know?  Fast foward to last week Monday and I'm looking at  BFP and I'm freaked.  Really freaked.  Freaked to the point of not wanting it to be true at times.  That continued throughout most of last week, decreasing slightly each day after Tuesday.  I chalk it up to my highly developed 'flight' response (some people fight, nope, not me, I run like hell when I'm scared).  

 

This week I'm doing better.  Trying to enjoy the fun aspects instead of thinking about the money, and how much different things will be (I like our life right now with just me, DH, and pup!), and how vacations will never be relaxing again, and how I can't buy new clothes since I'll be getting big, and how I don't want to buy too many maternity clothes because spending so much on clothes with an expiration date seems silly to me, and how little maternity leave I'll be able to have since we didn't expect this right away and hadn't been saving benefit time, you know, fun thoughts like that.  Instead I'm trying to think of fun things like the dresser we rescued from the curb and always intended on refinishing and putting in the hypothetical at the time baby's room (we picked out the accent color for the drawers yesterday), and how if I bought that super cute baby blanket on clearance at Target I'd no longer be crazy, and how all of those packs of diapers I got for $2 each sitting in the baby's closet aren't a sign of insanity anymore either, and getting to decorate that empty room in our new house.  And I'm working on handling some of the logistics that scared me.  I'm somewhere between 5 and 7 weeks along and I think we found our daycare, and, best of all, they're totally reasonably priced so we won't have to eat ramen for the rest of our lives!  And I'm working on saving/making as much moola as I can now and finding baby-related deals.  I might just be one of the few non-moms to already have a nice stash of pampers gifts to grow points.

 

Of course, there will be some low points.  I was not terribly happy to be pregnant last Thursday when I was sooooo nauseated all day long.  Nor was I today when I woke up and felt kinda the same but then I figured out that eating helps most of the time (didn't help Thursday).  I'm also not at all excited to tell my mother because she's crazy and will bug the ever-living-daylights out of me for the duration and then give me "helpful" (read: crazy) parenting advice until I eventually cut her out of my life (which will happen at some point, likely soon after the birth, I'd guess).

 

So yea.  I hope that's normal.  If not, sign me up as one of the worst mothers.  At least I know my mother will always have me beat in that race...

post #17 of 21
I does feel real as I am having symptoms and don't doubt for a second I'm pregnant, but I'm not in that OMG-I'm-pregnant-must-read-all-the-books-and-prepare-everything mode that I was in from the beginning with my first pregnancy. I think for me a lot of is I've BTDT, so instead of it being an exciting milestone to call the OB and get an appointment, instead I'm like "Oh yeah, I should get that scheduled..." I think I will be more excited once I hear the heartbeat and once I share the news with everyone. Oh and I know some of it is just not having time to obsess as much, I have a toddler to chase, not too much free time! But yeah, I have inklings of what it will be like, but yeah hasn't sunk in yet here either.
post #18 of 21

not really. This is a surprise, and I am still working through a lot of emotions. But I am definitely very happy to be having a bean growing in me.
 

post #19 of 21

i think i'm still trying to protect myself, i was supposed to have first appointment/scan this week but didnt make it because my ex is being really nasty to me about the pregnancy. On top of that im still waking up every morning and checking to see if i've miscarried yet because i normally have by now, and the stress this time is the biggest so far. However pregnancy symptoms are sooo strong, stronger then theyve ever been, boobs are soo sore, and my nausea has turned into bubbling stomach contents last few days which i think mite mark the beginning of the joyous fun bit soon ;) I've made a decision now to let it sink in a bit better though, my ex is moving out next week and i think that will help because him still being here and being so negative can't be helping the way im feeling, and i have made a definate decision now there is no way i can have an abortion, also my 2 latest mc's so far were 8 and 12 weeks, and having reached 8 weeks i feel a tiny bit safer whilst i still have such strong symptoms, i think once i have the first scan and meet the midwife it will definately properly start to sink in. my best friend keeps asking when shes gonna be allowed to start getting excited but i think its deinately gonna have to wait until 12 weeks and even then im gonna have to be quite sensitive to the ex's feelings..

Anyone thought about how preg they will be by christmas yet? i think this is probs when i will tell my family.. eek.. quite quite scared about that bit!!

post #20 of 21

I'm not sure why it still hasn't really hit me yet.  For two ultrasounds now (one at emergency because of a bleed, second to check on heart rate progression and to keep an eye on my hematomas), my poor husband has been ecstatic to listen and watch while I drag my feet into the room believing that there is going to be bad news.

 

You would think with how VERY symptomatic and bellyful I am that I would chin up! /chuckle.  Second trimester can't come soon enough.

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