Talk to me about getting an ultrasound and not wanting to know the sex... « Back to Group Discussions

[buko]

Just thinking about the logistics!

I'm 90% sure we're going to have a 20-week anatomy scan, but don't want to know the sex.  We REALLY DON'T want to know.  So much so that, since we're kinda... meh... about seeing the u/s in general (wouldn't have one at all except for the potential health benefit), we will ask them to turn off the overhead screen so there will be no chance of our accidentally seeing for ourselves.  Hey-- I know what to look for!

So, that part is a little different, but I am sure it's not so unusual for the u/s techs to be asked not to tell the sex.  By my unscientific estimate, anywhere from 5-20% of the general population seems to want to keep it a secret. 

So, my question is... If you made this request in previous pregnancies, how was it handled?  Did you have to be super-vigilant in reminding them, or was it an easy request for them to accommodate?  How did the tech/doctor respond, etc.?

Thanks! 

X-posted to I'm Pregnant

[withlittlelungs]

I don't have any experience with this, but I am wondering the same thing. We aren't finding out this time around. Our mw is sending us to an independent u/s place for the 20 week scan. I'm worried that the tech will slip. I do know that the mw request that the tech does not even write down the sex of the baby so that everyone is surprised at the birth (I like that!). So I'm hoping that will make it easier. 
Interested in hearing from people with experience!

[writermama12]

Hahaha, well I have a hard time keeping a secret, or waiting to know...anything. I saw my DS2 20 wk scan and requested NOT to be told the sex. However, I couldn't help but scrutinize the "area" (it was so tempting) and when I blurted out "hey, is that a penis?" the tech turned her head from me smiling and holding in her laugh. She said "don't do this to me! you don't want to know!" So I calmed down and said "Alright alright. But really, that was a penis, wasn't it?" "No," she smiled. I stopped harassing her, since after all I had agreed with hubby not to know-- But I did want to, you know. I was so curious. The tech was great--- respectful and good natured about it. I was the one who couldn't stick to my guns.

It turned out to be a boy. This time around, I am really hoping for my first girl after two boys. I am just itching to know. I want to prepare my mind and heart if it is another boy. But my DH is adamant that he doesn't want to know. ARGH. What to do? 

I feel like sneaking a peek at the 20 wk scan this time, but what if I regret it...

[maydaymom10]

I was wondering the same thing. I'll have to ask my sister. She found out with 2 & was surprised with 2. Well, really 1 because she figured out her oldest son's sex during the u/s. She kept it a secret from her husband. Didn't ask for confirmation, but I guess it was pretty obvious. Then of course I guess my blonde comes out in this area. We did find out with DS and I just couldn't see it in the u/s pics. DH said it was obvious on a pass-by of the entire baby, but I just couldn't see it at all. Even though I knew they were right, there was a part of me that wasn't totally convinced until he was born. We're going to try not to find out this time, but I'm worried that even if we have a good tech, that I'll scrutinize the pics and try to figure it out. **Sigh**  

[kittn]

tell the tech right away when you walk in. remind the tech not to refer to baby as him or her. remind them when they start again. Most of the time when they check to make sure the spine is closed they go under the bum for it.Ask them to warnn you and look away then and have them tell when they are done. it's harder then you think to see boy/girl unless your looking and in that area. they dont spend much time there is you arent interested
 

we are having a level 2 done, as we have with the last 3 babies because we have some congenital genetic conditions that we have a high risk for. I have never wanted to know the sex (except with the first baby) and I have never accidentally found out. 

OH ! Also make sure you tell the tech not to put gender in the chart ANYWHERE. period. so no one else slips by accident

[scarletsmiles]

kittn, those are great tips! I hadn't thought of not having the tech make a note of the gender in the chart. It's easier for one person to keep the secret than every else who knows!

I'm also in the boat of not wanting to know. I think I will want to see a picture, but I don't need to see a live picture. I still haven't had an appt where I could hear a heartbeat. I imagine I will be easily satisfied to hear that.