The "Last Week of Summer" One Thread for September 9th - 16th

[anyalily]

WELCOME TO THE "ONE" THREAD  for Sept. 9 - 16

posted by alexisyael in 2004:

The One Thread is designed for all on the MDC board. No matter where you are in your cycle, you are welcome to join the One Thread! We are also open to those who are "Waiting to be Ready" for one reason or another. We continue to embrace those of us who have become pregnant as well. Feel free to jump in at any time and introduce yourself!

To help keep the list current and manageable, members will be deleted after a month of not posting to a One thread.

Please make add/remove/change requests in Bold.

Waiting to O 

baby4makes6

bdavis912

dakipode
doularebekah 

filiadeluna 

FreedEm11 

gratefulstella  

InLove2009

jaxxy

jeslynn 

jr'smom

JustJenny

kimble

kitteh

LindsayDawn   

livingsky 

maia.springgoddess

MyName

nattery

newtoTTC

Shawnamarie 

skeemama

SKJ2011     

Stevi 

SweetMama34

sweetnatural

ThePeacefulMama

Tropicalfever

windsova

zebrapopcorn

 Waiting to Know (2WW) 

A2E 

Angierae 

Anyalily 

BaileyB

bebelove 

BetsyPage

brichole 

cavertmmy

ciga

dbl_my_luv 

delilahbeau 

firsttimettc

Fnord   

- Jenn -

kittenbritches 

lenny1027 

librarygirl  

lilgreenmama

LindsayDawn      

mamainthemaking

Mz J

odinsmama

SandyLoam

stegenrae 

wannabemomkt

 WTF IS GOING ON?!?! 

bloodofthefae

southernmommie

RavenMadMommy

 Waiting to be Ready 

 

Butterflymom

candyshells

imbjer

jeminijad

jlmschirm 

John16n33

Lidamama84

Michaels-Mommy

nisojon     

samy23 

sleepingbeauty 

Texanromaniac 

tinytina

CDsMom1031 

Zyon'sMommy

 ~ GRADUATES~ 

Big congrats to you all!!

Graduate Thread in I'm Pregnant: 

http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1352182/one-graduates-may-june/20

 (the current thread keeper can update the graduate link as needed)

 September BFP's 

aHikaru

AmandaLynnH

Quinalla 

 

 August BFP's 

LittleKind

magoodoggy 

TwighlightJoy  

 July BFP's 

nearlyelated

Edited by anyalily - 9/14/12 at 9:46am

[anyalily]

Well, its 3 in the morning and I can't sleep so I thought I would start the new thread. Please excuse my late night rambling.

I was asleep and my DD woke up wanting some water. I have this unpleasant experience lately of waking up fully alert with my heart pounding when DD calls me. It takes me a while to get settled down again.

Right now, at 3DPO, I am terrified of the idea that I may have a fertilized egg in my body. The 2WW is always scary for me. I don't know what's wrong with me. I am embarrassed to be STILL working through my ambivalence after three months off from TTC. I do know that I want another child, it is the baby stage that scares me, not to mention the discomforts of pregnancy (and the hormonal ravages that will likely ensue).

Part of it is that I promised myself that I would be in better shape for this pregnancy, but in fact I am in worse shape than last time. Since I took my TTC break from April to June, I have GAINED 20 pounds. Emotional eating, there is no other way to describe it. I have a feeling it will only get worse when I am pregnant and starting at nearly 200 pounds means I will be so heavy, even if I have a more moderate gain this time. But with my patterns of stress eating, it is more likely I will gain more than I want. It isn't vanity, it is back pain and a general feeling of being unhealthy and weak that I am afraid of. It doesn't seem to work for me to try to diet when TTC. Stress eating. Joy eating. Gah!

I just have to try to rein it in. Count my calories, log my foods. Walk every day or go to the gym. Move my body. I could lose 5 pounds so fast if I really try, and it would make a difference in how I feel. I could probably lose 5 lbs healthfully, just during the 2WW!

I am just tired of being excited about TTC during my fertile phase and then TERRIFIED during the 2WW. Is my body, mind and the Universe telling me that I shouldn't have a baby? Sigh. 

I think about all you lovely ladies who really want a baby and will be nothing but THRILLED when you get the BFP. I want some unhindered joy. How do I get that? Can I order it on Amazon or something? Is it supposed to come with the package of Wondfos? If so, I think they left it out of my box.

Thanks for listening if you got this far. I am sending fertile thoughts to you all! I hope to hear some late summer BFP surprises this week! 

[aHikaru]

Originally Posted by anyalily 

I am just tired of being excited about TTC during my fertile phase and then TERRIFIED during the 2WW. Is my body, mind and the Universe telling me that I shouldn't have a baby? Sigh. 

I think about all you lovely ladies who really want a baby and will be nothing but THRILLED when you get the BFP. I want some unhindered joy. How do I get that? Can I order it on Amazon or something? Is it supposed to come with the package of Wondfos? If so, I think they left it out of my box.

Thanks for listening if you got this far. I am sending fertile thoughts to you all! I hope to hear some late summer BFP surprises this week! 

I think you may be feeling this way because you already have a DD that is older than 3, like myself, and we know the 3 yr change has made everything easier and the thought of another is stressful. I have a 20 day lp, so I really don't get stressed during that time,,, but the day I was officially late I started freaking out like I was in the 2ww,,,I'm a couple days late now and I'm in denial.  My cycles are regular, but I had one chemical preg in Feb that made me 6 days late, so I'm waiting until that "deadline" to feel positive and hopeful.

[kitteh]

I definitely get the ambivalence thing. I feel like I'm constantly wavering between feeling excited and eager to expand our family, to feeling terrified that we're making a huge mistake and we'll regret having another baby and hate our lives. I'm the eldest of 8 (with one older half-brother) and I don't see myself having a only child, and although DD is still nursing, she is 2.5 and not a baby any more, so it's not like another baby could compromise my ability to fulfill her NEEDS. DH is really excited about having another, and I absolutely melt whenever I see a newborn, and DD has been ready for a sibling for some time now--she's actually been asking for one already! And yet I'm ambivalent.

I think it's because DD was/is such a handful. She was crawling and pulling herself up to standing at 5 months old, and walking before 9 months. And she has just been go, go, go ever since. It's exhausting and I hope the next one is a little more mellow! The other day we all went to have lunch on the beach and DD was calm and quiet in her seat for about 10 minutes before absolute mutiny. She had no interest in the food or any of the toys or books  that we brought to distract her. She just wanted to run around the restaurant, so DH and I had to take shifts being with her while the other one ate. I kept thinking, WTH will we do when we have TWO of these little wiggle worms? Say goodbye to eating in restaurants for a few years, that's for sure.

We also don't have family near by to help. Mine is in MN and WV and his is in Chile. So we're on our own, and that is kind of terrifying. It would make such a huge difference if we could just get a couple of hours alone together once a week or so to have a conversation and a beer. We could afford to pay a babysitter to watch one, but it gets more complicated and expensive hiring a sitter for two!

Also, while I am looking forward to being pregnant again and all of the excitement of growing another baby, I'm not very excited about the physical changes and weight gain. I gained 40 lbs last time! And then after DD was a year old I got into running to lose the baby weight and I was totally bitten by the racing bug. I actually have a bunch of races coming up in October, including a 10k that I'm hoping to run in 48:30, and a hilly half-marathon in San Francisco mid-Oct. and I'm not sure how to navigate that during early pregnancy. I'm kind of USING this body right now, you know? I'm hoping to keep running as long as I can through my pregnancy, but I will be running in an attempt to maintain as much fitness as possible, not to beat my past race times, and the competitive side of me is not excited about that.

So yeah, I absolutely hear you. And I feel like a total jerk admitting all of this, but there you have it.

Later this week is my time to start testing, OMG!
 

[anyalily]

Originally Posted by aHikaru 

I think you may be feeling this way because you already have a DD that is older than 3, like myself, and we know the 3 yr change has made everything easier and the thought of another is stressful. I have a 20 day lp, so I really don't get stressed during that time,,, but the day I was officially late I started freaking out like I was in the 2ww,,,I'm a couple days late now and I'm in denial.  My cycles are regular, but I had one chemical preg in Feb that made me 6 days late, so I'm waiting until that "deadline" to feel positive and hopeful.

That could be part of it. Now that I get to sleep through the night (most nights) it highlights how hard it was to operate on little sleeps for YEARS.

Did you say that you have a 20 day luteal phase? I have never heard of that? When are you going to test? Did I miss a BFP?

[anyalily]

Originally Posted by kitteh 

I definitely get the ambivalence thing. I feel like I'm constantly wavering between feeling excited and eager to expand our family, to feeling terrified that we're making a huge mistake and we'll regret having another baby and hate our lives. I'm the eldest of 8 (with one older half-brother) and I don't see myself having a only child, and although DD is still nursing, she is 2.5 and not a baby any more, so it's not like another baby could compromise my ability to fulfill her NEEDS. DH is really excited about having another, and I absolutely melt whenever I see a newborn, and DD has been ready for a sibling for some time now--she's actually been asking for one already! And yet I'm ambivalent.

I think it's because DD was/is such a handful. She was crawling and pulling herself up to standing at 5 months old, and walking before 9 months. And she has just been go, go, go ever since. It's exhausting and I hope the next one is a little more mellow! The other day we all went to have lunch on the beach and DD was calm and quiet in her seat for about 10 minutes before absolute mutiny. She had no interest in the food or any of the toys or books  that we brought to distract her. She just wanted to run around the restaurant, so DH and I had to take shifts being with her while the other one ate. I kept thinking, WTH will we do when we have TWO of these little wiggle worms? Say goodbye to eating in restaurants for a few years, that's for sure.

We also don't have family near by to help. Mine is in MN and WV and his is in Chile. So we're on our own, and that is kind of terrifying. It would make such a huge difference if we could just get a couple of hours alone together once a week or so to have a conversation and a beer. We could afford to pay a babysitter to watch one, but it gets more complicated and expensive hiring a sitter for two!

Also, while I am looking forward to being pregnant again and all of the excitement of growing another baby, I'm not very excited about the physical changes and weight gain. I gained 40 lbs last time! And then after DD was a year old I got into running to lose the baby weight and I was totally bitten by the racing bug. I actually have a bunch of races coming up in October, including a 10k that I'm hoping to run in 48:30, and a hilly half-marathon in San Francisco mid-Oct. and I'm not sure how to navigate that during early pregnancy. I'm kind of USING this body right now, you know? I'm hoping to keep running as long as I can through my pregnancy, but I will be running in an attempt to maintain as much fitness as possible, not to beat my past race times, and the competitive side of me is not excited about that.

So yeah, I absolutely hear you. And I feel like a total jerk admitting all of this, but there you have it.

Later this week is my time to start testing, OMG!
 

I am glad to hear I am not alone. Another of my concerns is that I am really enjoying my work right now. I am self-employed and making enough to support a sweet office outside of the home, which makes me happy. It did not work for me to work at home. I just don't get to the work. Too many distractions.

I hear ya about the weight gain. I started at about 175 and I was above 230! on my due date. I was HUGE. I did get back to the 170s within about 8 or 9 months. I am just kicking myself that I wasn't able to get down to the 150s where I wanted to start this pregnancy. I am 195 right now. Sigh. A casualty of working more and stress.

That's awesome that you run! I have enjoyed running 5ks in the past but I don't think I could run pregnant. Pain!

My DH's family is in Budapest and London. We chose to be near my family, so that helps a bit. But I do not have anyone to watch an infant, except for DH on the weekends. However, he works two jobs, one from home, so he usually has full weekends (and evenings.)

What the hell am I thinking? I am thinking that it will not get any easier, so its now or never.

[aHikaru]

Originally Posted by anyalily 

That could be part of it. Now that I get to sleep through the night (most nights) it highlights how hard it was to operate on little sleeps for YEARS.

Did you say that you have a 20 day luteal phase? I have never heard of that? When are you going to test? Did I miss a BFP?

Having a long LP is possible, I haven't been able to pinpoint it, but it's around 18-20 days... I don't know if i'll ever test, I'm in denial and have convinced myself AF is coming... Like I said before, I had a chemical that made me 6 days late, so once I reach that point I'll be more optimistic... for now, just taking it one day at a time. 

[anyalily]

Originally Posted by aHikaru 

Having a long LP is possible, I haven't been able to pinpoint it, but it's around 18-20 days... I don't know if i'll ever test, I'm in denial and have convinced myself AF is coming... Like I said before, I had a chemical that made me 6 days late, so once I reach that point I'll be more optimistic... for now, just taking it one day at a time. 

Wow. Do you temp? Good for you for holding out to test. I don't think I could be that strong. I think once I am two days late, I HAVE to test. It becomes a compulsion. LOL. BTW - Do you still want to be in Waiting to Be Ready?

[Lidamama84]

Anyalily and Kitteh, I totally get it about the fear of everything changing with another baby; that's one of the reasons we're waiting a few more moths before TTC #3. When I was pregnant with DD2, I was so much more tired/hormonal, and I felt like a terrible mom! DD1 is a VERY active/intense toddler, she still is, and the thought of another baby like DD1 was terrifying. Fortunately, DD2 is much mellower. I don't think she's super mellow, but just "normal", but she seems calm compared to her sister . My DDs are only 2 years apart, and, while it was hard when the baby was really young, now they play together quite a bit, which is nice. However, they also tend to melt down together, which is not fun . However, by the time we have #3, DD1 will be heading off to school full-time , so hopefully it will be easier. DH works some evenings And weekends, though, so it kind of scares me to be alone with three kids, but I'm sure we'll adjust. And, that's what tv is for, right? Those moments when everything is going to hell.

For me, I gained a lot of weight with my first pregnancy, which I never lost before having DD2, because she was such a high-reds baby and never took a bottle, so I couldn't leave her much until she was older, but then I went back to work, so I didn't want to miss my evenings and weekends with her, so I never really got a chance to work out. After DD2, I lost the extra I gained in my second pregnancy really quickly (4 months), and without trying, which was nice. I think it was because I had someone to chase around all day, so I couldn't just eat and sleep like I did with DD1, lol! I am STILL 20 lbs overweight, which bugs me, but the only way I lose weight is by not eating, but I can't function as a parent and diet, so I'm kind resigned to being chubby till I'm done with kids/they're older

[JustJenny]

Originally Posted by aHikaru 

Having a long LP is possible, I haven't been able to pinpoint it, but it's around 18-20 days... I don't know if i'll ever test, I'm in denial and have convinced myself AF is coming... Like I said before, I had a chemical that made me 6 days late, so once I reach that point I'll be more optimistic... for now, just taking it one day at a time. 

I feel the same way after my chemical. I won't be doing anymore early testing. I think it causes me more anxiety than just waiting :)  Hope you've got a little bean in there aHikaru 

[aHikaru]

Originally Posted by JustJenny 

I feel the same way after my chemical. I won't be doing anymore early testing. I think it causes me more anxiety than just waiting :)  Hope you've got a little bean in there aHikaru 

thank you! 

Originally Posted by anyalily  Do you still want to be in Waiting to Be Ready?

yes, we are still waiting to be ready :p

[anyalily]

DH and I just had a good talk. We decided that we will try this month and next, and if we haven't conceived we will go get a sperm analysis. In the meantime I am going to spend these coupla months really buckling down and try to lose around 20 pounds and get stronger. We'll have to take a month or two off because of commitments next August (don't wanna be due then). And then, armed with more information and less flab, we will reassess the whole baby thing. 

I feel good that he is willing to be responsive in this process with me. I actually feel less panicked if we did conceive this month because he is so good. I puffy heart my level headed DH. 

Today I had went wine tasting, probably the last wine I will have until I either have a baby or lose my weight. It was fun to be out with my girlfriends. We blew off some steam.

[Quinalla]

Welcome to the excited one minute, terrified the next club. Ok, maybe not terrified, but definitely not looking forward to the becoming a sleep deprived zombie again! And I am scared of how having two kids will make it that much harder and what if I get another intense kid. I love her so much, but she is so intense all the time, she needs so much more from me and DH. I am definitely hoping for a mellow one this time like my brother has, oh is his kid so chill, I'm happy for him and his wife, but so jealous!

If AF doesn't show up tomorrow when it's due, I'll probably test Wednesday morning. I don't have expectations either way this cycle, so I don't think a BFN will be too hard this time.

[LivingSky]

Can I be moved to Waiting to O please?

CD4 today. I had such high hopes for last cycle but it looks like I did O early after all and had pretty poor BD timing for that O date. Blah. Anyway, I've started vitex and am hoping that can give me a bit of a boost in fertility!

A2E: I'm chart stalking you! I hope you get your sticky BFP

Stevi: Your chart looks great, surprised it hasn't given you crosshairs yet. Here's hoping that your test gave you that raised fertility and a BFP!

[AmandaLynnH]

Thank goodness the excited/terrified thing is normal! I'm certainly there right now as I just tested and got a BFP! And yea, freaked out is where I am!

I mean, obviously I knew it could happen, we were trying and all, but gee wiz this was the first time out of the gate!

Of course since this was my first month off the pill it's hard to say how far along I am. I could be anywhere from 3-5 weeks. Called the doc to confirm and am waiting for a call back. I had really convinced myself that AF was on the way. But I knew I was feeling different.

So, when do you tell people? This will be a little weird for me as my mother is literally crazy and has been hell on wheels for my brother who just had his first 4 weeks ago.

So yea, freaked on all fronts, from experiencing pregnancy for the first time, to dealing with my mom, to birth, to being a parent.

[aHikaru]

uggg, we just had the finances talk... my hubby is so scared he wants me to test ( and quite honestly i'm not planning to test until I would be 6 weeks late/ 10 weeks preg).. I thought about it for like a minute, but I feel it'll just stress him more, he says "we just need 2 months to get out of debt" and I just think, that's good because we'll have 9 months ;)... 

good luck to everyone, i'm always checking in and seeing how y'all are doing. 

[anyalily]

Originally Posted by AmandaLynnH 

Thank goodness the excited/terrified thing is normal! I'm certainly there right now as I just tested and got a BFP! And yea, freaked out is where I am!
I mean, obviously I knew it could happen, we were trying and all, but gee wiz this was the first time out of the gate!
Of course since this was my first month off the pill it's hard to say how far along I am. I could be anywhere from 3-5 weeks. Called the doc to confirm and am waiting for a call back. I had really convinced myself that AF was on the way. But I knew I was feeling different.
So, when do you tell people? This will be a little weird for me as my mother is literally crazy and has been hell on wheels for my brother who just had his first 4 weeks ago.
So yea, freaked on all fronts, from experiencing pregnancy for the first time, to dealing with my mom, to birth, to being a parent.

Wow! Terrifying! And wonderful! I am so glad for you that you got a BFP so fast. I would say enjoy having a sweet secret with you partner for a few weeks and then just tell the people that can support you and be joyful. i have no idea what the situation is with your mama, but I would put her on the 3 month notification list if I could. Just enjoy this! And let me know when you want me to graduate you. Many mamas hang out here for a few weeks.

[anyalily]

Originally Posted by aHikaru 

uggg, we just had the finances talk... my hubby is so scared he wants me to test ( and quite honestly i'm not planning to test until I would be 6 weeks late/ 10 weeks preg).. I thought about it for like a minute, but I feel it'll just stress him more, he says "we just need 2 months to get out of debt" and I just think, that's good because we'll have 9 months ;)... 

good luck to everyone, i'm always checking in and seeing how y'all are doing. 

What a blessing to be 2 months from debt-free. That sounds like a great place to be. Is he OK with you not testing? I could never hold out. LOL

[kitteh]

Congrats AmandaLynnH!!

As for finances, I think that is a big part of what is freaking me out about trying for #2. But the truth is, I really think it would never feel like the RIGHT time, or like we had *enough* saved up. I mean, DD was a surprise baby and when I found out I was pregnant DH had JUST arrived in the US and didn't even have legal authorization to work for months. I had just graduated from UCLA with ~30k in student loan debt and another 25k in high interest CC debt (and I'm talking like, 28% interest rates! it was BAD) and NO savings at all. We shared a two-bedroom apartment with my brother and I was working as a waitress. Talk about stressed out!!

Now 3 years later we're in our own apartment, and we're both employed. Even better, I'm not a friggin waitress anymore! I'm working part-time in a kindergarten classroom and do some afternoon nannying . Our CC debt is gone and we should have 10k in savings by the end of the year. My student loan debt is still pretty sizable at 25k, but it is all federal and consolidated on the IBR plan, so it feels more manageable. We want to have our kids close in age, and I feel ready to have another baby around, but I still feel like we should be better off financially before starting to try for #2.

[Lidamama84]

Yeah, what is it with men and Finances when all we want is a baby, lol? My DH keeps coming back to it, but, in the long run I'd rather have the kids I want and less $$, cause there'll be more of them to take care of me when I'm old,lol! Seriously, though, I don't think ther is a perfect financial time...at least not while I'm still fertile .

Congrats, Amandalynn!!! How exciting for you! We got pregnant with #1 on our first try too. I was shocked, because I have a family history of infertility...I agree it's nice to wait a bit before telling ppl abut being pg, but on the other hand, if you tell your mom you're expecting, it might take some of the pressure off your bro . Personally, I told my mom once we reached the three month mark. That's also when we announced it to everyone else. With #2, I told my mom sooner, like at 6 weeks, or something.