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The "Last Week of Summer" One Thread for September 9th - 16th - Page 2

post #21 of 62

LivingSky...   Fertility Friend doesn't like all of the high temps at the beginning of my cycle, so they probably won't give me cross hairs. But, it's okay, I know when I ovulated. lol

 

aHikaru...   I laughed at your "we'll have 9 months!" Hahahaha!!!

 

Lidamama84...   I'm with you, it's too late now to worry about whether I can afford a kid or not! Waiting for the money to be "comfortable" is what put me in this situation in the first place!

 

Think Fertile Thoughts!!

post #22 of 62

Stevi smile.gif

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lidamama84 View Post

Yeah, what is it with men and Finances when all we want is a baby, lol? My DH keeps coming back to it, but, in the long run I'd rather have the kids I want and less $$, cause there'll be more of them to take care of me when I'm old,lol! Seriously, though, I don't think ther is a perfect financial time...at least not while I'm still fertile wink1.gif.

I like your thinking!

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by kitteh View Post

 We want to have our kids close in age, and I feel ready to have another baby around, but I still feel like we should be better off financially before starting to try for #2.

I believe being emotionally ready, and for me physically, is most important in wanting a baby. A happy momma= happy baby, no matter the financial issues, babies are a blessing :)

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by anyalily View Post

What a blessing to be 2 months from debt-free. That sounds like a great place to be. Is he OK with you not testing? I could never hold out. LOL

I think I'm waiting for a time when I'll be 100% emotionally prepared for the result either way, quite honestly I was feeling good today, but hubby called and I think I want to wait until he's ready for the answer, either way, I feel if it's a no, he'll want to NTNP, if it's a yes, he'll be unrealistic. The debt is one credit card <2K (on necessary items) and we have a little savings (something is better than nothing smile.gif), that's it, we rent, lease a car and I home school, so just waiting for him to calm down.

 

....Thanks everyone for being so understanding :)


Edited by aHikaru - 9/10/12 at 10:13pm
post #23 of 62
Thread Starter 

I hear ya all about the finances. I am a believer in "it will all fall into place" and as long as there isn't an impending crisis, I feel alright.

 

And now we begin the (imagined) symptom watch! Today I felt some twinges, sort of tickly, in my wombular area. And DD is talking about babies a ton. She goes through phases. And here I am just at 4DPO. It is going to be a long week. LOL

post #24 of 62
Quote:
Originally Posted by anyalily View Post

 And here I am just at 4DPO. It is going to be a long week. LOL

When are you planning to test? I'm soo tempted right now, maybe ill test the same day as you. 

post #25 of 62

LOL @ woumbular area.

 

Thanks for the perspective re:financial stuff. I agree with you ladies, but at the same time I can't entirely quiet down that inner freak-out voice. It worked out last time, and we were much worse off than we are now. I have a loving DH who genuinely WANTS another baby, and a DD who does too. It is the right time for us, my anxiety be damned.

 

I'm 7DPO and I have already taken a test today, though I knew it would be negative. I have 3 extra-sensitive HPTs that can detect hCG at 10 mlU/ml but I decided not to "waste" those today because I knew it would be too early. So instead I wasted a test that can only detect @ 25 mlU/ml, knowing for CERTAIN that it would not be able to pick up the hCG even if I had any in my urine. Talk about irrational! LOL.

 

So now I'm really trying to distract myself and not test again til Friday or Saturday, when I'll be 11-12 DPO. Which is still probably too early, ugh. This waiting is literally making me crazy.

 

Also, I have only one ovary (righty was removed when I was a Sr in HS) so I might only be ovulating e/o month? Kill me now, lol.

post #26 of 62
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by aHikaru View Post

When are you planning to test? I'm soo tempted right now, maybe ill test the same day as you. 

I am trying to hod out until 10DPO but I have Wondfos so we'll see how long I hold out.

post #27 of 62
Quote:
Originally Posted by anyalily View Post

I am trying to hod out until 10DPO but I have Wondfos so we'll see how long I hold out.

I was thinking of testing this weekend as well, but not feeling hopeful right now, for no reason :/ think I just need to set a date, with a CB digital... lol.gif

post #28 of 62

Thanks for all the replies guys.  I'm still totally freaked out.  I mean, I knew, sure it *could* happen but now that it has I'm not sure I'm ready.  DH assures me this is completely normal and does not make me the worst person in the world but I remain unconvinced.  I'm a bit of a control freak so the idea of not being completely in control of my body really freaks me out.  Plus I had some stomach issues a couple of years ago and never really fully recovered so the whole morning sickness thing really freaks me out.  Although if it's how I've been feeling the last few weeks I can handle that.  Part of my body issues stem from my mother constantly telling me that "she was skinny too before she had kids" implying that once I have them I'm going to turn into a whale.  It doesn't help that she insinuates I'm fat every chance she gets (I'm 5'7'' and 140 lbs right now which is a bit higher than I like).

 

There's also the fact that I really have no idea how far along I am because I haven't had a normal cycle yet.  There are two possible times that it could have happened, one before I started charting and keeping track when we were just not trying not to and one after when we were trying.  Those were about 2 weeks apart.

 

I hear everyone on the finances thing, that's one of my big hang ups.  I know we do well for ourselves and are saving a ton right now but knowing that daycare will take a really large chunk of my salary is really scary.  There are plenty of people who aren't nearly as well off financially as we are and they manage so I know theoretically we'll be fine but it's hard to convince myself of that without actually seeing what it'll be like.

 

Regarding my mother, she's undiagnosed but I'm pretty sure she has something called borderline personality disorder.  We just had a truly craptacular day with her on Saturday and my brother is preparing right now to cut her out of his life.  DH and I are working toward the same thing and I know the baby will be one of the last straws.  She's currently throwing a tantrum because my bro and his wife and baby didn't go to her house this past weekend (3.5 hrs away) because the 4 wk old baby had a cold.  Apparently there was name calling, accusations of being selfish, threats to cut them out, random insults at my dad's gf (they've been divorced for 18 years), etc.  When we saw my grandma this past weekend she kept talking about how important mothers are when one first has a baby and all I kept thinking about was how to keep mine the hell away from us (I guess if I'm protective of it that's a good sign, right?).

 

So yea...still freaked.  Called and left a message for my doctor to get in.  I know it's possible this one won't stick too since it's my first cycle off the pill.  I didn't temp today but my temps have been falling some and IIRC that's not a good sign either.

 

And I'm really, really gonna miss sleep.  I do love it so.

post #29 of 62

Oh, AmandaLynnH  hug2.gif

Your DH is right, everything you're feeling is normal, but it's still a panicky feeling, losing control. You lose more and more control as your kids get bigger, but you also become more and more ok with it (here speaks a control freak!)

 

Don't worry about dating your pg, you usually have an ultrasound for that within the first trimester. Also, don't worry about losing the baby. You can't change that, so just try to relax and enjoy all the crazy new things you're going to experience. Some women have a really rough pregnancy, and others breeze through it. You just can't tell ahead of time what's going to happen, so I would try and just take things one day at a time. And, yes, stock up on sleep. Although, both my kids are pretty awful sleepers, but to survive I co-sleep and learned to BF lying down, because it means I never have to get up at night or even fully wake up. Sure, I'm not as well rested as before kids, but all things considered, I still slept through the night almost every night from the time my kids were 6 weeks old.

 

Regarding $$ and daycare, what we did was to start putting aside each month what daycare would cost us when I went on my second mat leave (I didn't think to do it with my first mat leave). You can even do it now, while pregnant. It gives you a nice nest egg (for buying baby stuff, which is darn expensive!), gets your budget used to factoring in daycare, and maybe you can use some of your savings to stay home longer when your maternity leave runs out, if you wish to do so :)   

 

As far as your mom goes, only your and DH know what's best for your family. If you have to cut her out, so be it. YOUR new family is what matters. Is your mom open to seeing a doctor/psychologist? Does she realized that there are times when she is "not right"?

post #30 of 62
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by aHikaru View Post

I was thinking of testing this weekend as well, but not feeling hopeful right now, for no reason :/ think I just need to set a date, with a CB digital... lol.gif

Let's test on Sunday, OK?

post #31 of 62
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by AmandaLynnH View Post

Thanks for all the replies guys.  I'm still totally freaked out.  I mean, I knew, sure it *could* happen but now that it has I'm not sure I'm ready.  DH assures me this is completely normal and does not make me the worst person in the world but I remain unconvinced.  I'm a bit of a control freak so the idea of not being completely in control of my body really freaks me out.  Plus I had some stomach issues a couple of years ago and never really fully recovered so the whole morning sickness thing really freaks me out.  Although if it's how I've been feeling the last few weeks I can handle that.  Part of my body issues stem from my mother constantly telling me that "she was skinny too before she had kids" implying that once I have them I'm going to turn into a whale.  It doesn't help that she insinuates I'm fat every chance she gets (I'm 5'7'' and 140 lbs right now which is a bit higher than I like).

 

There's also the fact that I really have no idea how far along I am because I haven't had a normal cycle yet.  There are two possible times that it could have happened, one before I started charting and keeping track when we were just not trying not to and one after when we were trying.  Those were about 2 weeks apart.

 

I hear everyone on the finances thing, that's one of my big hang ups.  I know we do well for ourselves and are saving a ton right now but knowing that daycare will take a really large chunk of my salary is really scary.  There are plenty of people who aren't nearly as well off financially as we are and they manage so I know theoretically we'll be fine but it's hard to convince myself of that without actually seeing what it'll be like.

 

Regarding my mother, she's undiagnosed but I'm pretty sure she has something called borderline personality disorder.  We just had a truly craptacular day with her on Saturday and my brother is preparing right now to cut her out of his life.  DH and I are working toward the same thing and I know the baby will be one of the last straws.  She's currently throwing a tantrum because my bro and his wife and baby didn't go to her house this past weekend (3.5 hrs away) because the 4 wk old baby had a cold.  Apparently there was name calling, accusations of being selfish, threats to cut them out, random insults at my dad's gf (they've been divorced for 18 years), etc.  When we saw my grandma this past weekend she kept talking about how important mothers are when one first has a baby and all I kept thinking about was how to keep mine the hell away from us (I guess if I'm protective of it that's a good sign, right?).

 

So yea...still freaked.  Called and left a message for my doctor to get in.  I know it's possible this one won't stick too since it's my first cycle off the pill.  I didn't temp today but my temps have been falling some and IIRC that's not a good sign either.

 

And I'm really, really gonna miss sleep.  I do love it so.

thumbsup.gif It's all gonna be OK. Pregnancy lasts almost a year for a reason. The preparation is a process. In a lot of ways having a baby simplifies your life, puts things in perspective, YK? I would recommend a book called "the Birth of a Mother". I remember reading it when I was pregnant and it helped. Get your library card out and start reading! Just stay away from the scary books, there is no good gonna come out of worrying more.

post #32 of 62
Hi ladies,

Sorry I have been gone for so long. A couple months ago my husband I decided to stop trying which is why my fertility friend is pretty much blank. Last month after 16 months of TTC we finally got our BFP! Unfortunately at about 5 weeks we lost the baby. Now I am 18dpo (the following month) and I'm like 99% sure I am pregnant. Mostly because I had spotting at 10dpo and idk why else I would have been spotting except implantation bleeding. Last month when I got my bfp I kept testing negative until 18dpo so the negatives haven't been very discouraging. I just received my wondfo tests in the mail and I am going to test tomorrow morning. The dpo is all kind of blurry to me because I wasn't paying any attention, I honestly didn't think I could ovulate if I didn't have a period and I didn't think to consider the miscarriage a period. I guess really I'm only like 85% sure I'm pregnant, everything is just timing exactly how it did when I got my bfp. If I ovulated like last month we definitely bd around the right time... so we will see. Emotionally I am all over the place. I can't get over that I clearly had implantation bleeding and that we have increased fertility after miscarriage. I am totally anxious right now. My plan is to just finish work, go to the gym, and then go to bed early that way I can get up early.

Oh yeah, and to top everything off my husband is working out of town and won't be home until Thursday night so idk if I should call him if I get bfp or just wait. I'm sure he will be excited but scared, we did not plan on getting pregnant so soon after (like I sai, it seems dumb but we didn't know we could). It feels good to be back on mothering during this emotional time. I'll have to go back and get updates on everything that has happened while I was away. Hopefully there are a lot of bfps. Baby dust to all.

-Emily
post #33 of 62

Hi Everyone, 

This is LisaAdkins20, I changed my username :) 

After taking the whole summer of TTC, my DH and I are back on TTC #1! Could I be moved to WAITING TO O?

 

It is so very encouraging to read that I am not the only one who goes from the gut wrenching need/want of a baby to total panic after unprotected sex :) In one moment I think that maybe we should wait one more year, and I feel confident in that decision. The next day all I want to do is to have a baby here already. It is so confusing, and I think it confuses DH more than me. Sometimes I feel like I can't tell him about any of this, because I know that he is nervous and that he is worried. And I don't want him to be even more worried when he know how i feel sometimes....

 

Also, regarding the finances, I am completely freaked out. We will have to start paying if student loans starting January, and I am not sure how we can afford a baby. But before now, our main point was to graduate so that we can afford a baby. I am starting to believe that there is never a time in which we will be able to truly afford one, so I guess we are just going to have to deal with it :)
Our cars are paid off, and we don't have any other debt other than student loans and our house payment. SO I guess that is a good point to start at right?

 

I am also worried because all of my family is in Germany, and I never imagined myself having my own family so far away from them. I already miss them so much and I don't know how I am going to do this without them here to support me! 

 

On top of everything, I am just feeling terribly emotional.... redface.gif

post #34 of 62

Hi all....I'm back. Miscarried my little miracle baby at 5w6d. My midwife gave me the go ahead to start trying again immediately. She told me that many women are most fertile after a miscarriage - the only reason to wait would be a 2nd trimester loss or else for emotional healing.

 

I never saw a heartbeat, but I'm not sure if this makes it easier. I got a very early BFP and have been celebrating this new life for weeks now. It hurts an awful lot to lose this pregnancy, but I'm determined to move forward.

 

I already started temping this morning, so can you please add me back to Waiting to O? (And remove me from graduates, please?) Thank you so much. Best of luck to you all! stillheart.gif

post #35 of 62
Anyalily - This time around I am completely with you on the anxiousness. I feel more scared than excited about the idea of being pregnant although the idea of having a baby fills me with tons if joy. I also know what you mean about trying to lose weight. I have gained back every single lb I lost before the first pregnancy. (emotional eating and drinking). I have been going to the gym every day a nd eating smaller portions, but if I'm pregnant this month there is no way I will be as small as I want to be. For me it's all about vanity though, I want to be all belly when I'm pregnant, not all fat. My plan is to just keep exercising and replace fat with baby even if the number on the scale goes up.

ahikaru Being 2 months away from debt free is exciting. My husband I recently had the finances talk too, I think it's funny that you say "we well have 9 months" because I have said the same thing before. Last month we accidentally and pregnant (proving all the "as soon as you stop trying it will happen" Sayers right) and DH was really confident about money even though the month before he said there was no way. I think they can look at things more realistically our at least more positively when having a baby is a reality. and justjenny after my loss I said I would aLONG time to test that way I could save myself the heart ache and anxiety but as soon as I saw that implantation bleeding it was all I could think about (probably because it caught me off guard) and I'm anxious anyway.

congrsts Amanda! I will be praying everything goes smoothly. I'm sorry about your mom. My mom had borderline personality disorder asking with other things. I have moved 10 hours away from her because if it. I think it's important that you take care of your self and family and not worry abut what she wants. I'm sending you lots of strength during this trying time.

SORRY for any spelling/grammar errors, I am on my phone.
post #36 of 62
Quote:
Originally Posted by anyalily View Post

Let's test on Sunday, OK?

update!


Edited by aHikaru - 9/12/12 at 3:22pm
post #37 of 62

SweetMama34...   The emergency room doctor told me the same thing about "no reason to wait to try again" with an early loss. He said the body does not go through anything to really heal from in the first 3 months. I also read many many times over the years that fertility is raised for the three months following a miscarriage. I hope you are part of that statistic and get your new BFP right away!

post #38 of 62

Thanks, Stevi. :)

post #39 of 62
Thread Starter 
InLove2009 - Welcome back! 
 
SweetMama34 and FreedEm- welcome back to you both, too. I am so sorry for your losses. I hope your stays here are short and sweet! FreeEm, do you want to be in waiting to know?
 
I have moved everyone as requested. Please check and make sure you are where you want to be. I am still a baby threadkeeper, just getting the hang of it.
 
I'm off to the gym. I took a fun Zumba class yesterday and I now am going to go play around with the elliptical and watch some stupid TV. I have been sticking to my diet the last couple of days and already the pounds are sliding off. Watch, this is the month I get the BFP! I have been trying to diet for ages...
 
Ciao bellas!
post #40 of 62
Quote:
Originally Posted by FreedEm11 View Post

Hi ladies,

Sorry I have been gone for so long. A couple months ago my husband I decided to stop trying which is why my fertility friend is pretty much blank. Last month after 16 months of TTC we finally got our BFP! Unfortunately at about 5 weeks we lost the baby. Now I am 18dpo (the following month) and I'm like 99% sure I am pregnant. Mostly because I had spotting at 10dpo and idk why else I would have been spotting except implantation bleeding. Last month when I got my bfp I kept testing negative until 18dpo so the negatives haven't been very discouraging. I just received my wondfo tests in the mail and I am going to test tomorrow morning. The dpo is all kind of blurry to me because I wasn't paying any attention, I honestly didn't think I could ovulate if I didn't have a period and I didn't think to consider the miscarriage a period. I guess really I'm only like 85% sure I'm pregnant, everything is just timing exactly how it did when I got my bfp. If I ovulated like last month we definitely bd around the right time... so we will see. Emotionally I am all over the place. I can't get over that I clearly had implantation bleeding and that we have increased fertility after miscarriage. I am totally anxious right now. My plan is to just finish work, go to the gym, and then go to bed early that way I can get up early.

Oh yeah, and to top everything off my husband is working out of town and won't be home until Thursday night so idk if I should call him if I get bfp or just wait. I'm sure he will be excited but scared, we did not plan on getting pregnant so soon after (like I sai, it seems dumb but we didn't know we could). It feels good to be back on mothering during this emotional time. I'll have to go back and get updates on everything that has happened while I was away. Hopefully there are a lot of bfps. Baby dust to all.

-Emily

You're not alone, for sure! So sorry to hear about your loss...and thank you for being back here, to show those of us in a similar situation that there's hope in our very  near future! Best of luck to you...keep us updated!

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