Can any of you who are midwives tell me why you chose to have or not have another midwife present at your home birth? This is a hot topic in our house right now and I would love to know what circumstances made you make the decision that you did.
Any midwives here??
Even though I am a midwife, I want to be the mommy during my own birth! I think that's especially important for those of us who are always caring for someone else! There are just times when we need to be cared for, to have another trusted provider watch for everything and have our backs! Plus: There is nothing quite as wonderful as sharing a birth with a peer midwife!
Interesting. I have never wanted anyone that I know (besides DH) at my births. The thought of having a friend or family member there has always made me shudder. I guess with attendants who were strangers I knew I would never see them again and didn't give a crap what they thought of me, my body, my birth etc. and I never needed to worry about hurting their feelings. One of my best friends is a natural birth minded L&D nurse and an awesome photographer and there is no way I could imagine having her at my birth...I wonder what that says about me? Private to an extreme I suppose?
Thank you ladies for your perspective. I had posted this somewhere else too and only had a couple MW's that said they prefer to UC. Everyone had various reasons for why they choose what they choose and how many (or few) attendants they prefer.
So instead i went through a birth where I scared my self and had a much more uncomfortable experience than i really needed to have, and if everything had not ended up as fine as it did I would still be freaked out and in some level of greif even now, because that baby is 24 yo and I still can fell that empty drop in me when I thought he was dead... Just for A minute or two but oh so horrible ... My best suggestion is to find a friend midwife a comadre who understands what you like and what you want, show her videos of the births you like and talk about it communicate... You want to be left alone you dont want fiddling with your cervix,you dont want to be marshalled around dont rub the baby up so hard.dont suction, dont put a hat on, dont tell me the apgar score dont talk loud.. What ever it is that you dont like talk about it ....and talk about it some more....